I'm looking forward to talking to you guys. After reading some of your posts, I've realized I'm not the only one out there. I've been dipping for 12 years ( 3/4 to 1 tin a day ) and today is the day I quit for good. I want to share my struggles dating back to mid November.....
First time in 12 years, I noticed wrinkles on the left side of my mouth....started to panic...talked to one of my best friends who I remember mentioning had wrinkles himself (also a dipper). And his dentist told him if they don't go away, then it's a problem. So I waited a few days and they went away. So what did I do? I dipped on the right side to let the left heal up some more. Eventually, I got the wrinkles on the right side....right in the spot the dip sits (same as the left when it happened).
So that's when I "quit", on December 12th....but even with all the emotions and thoughts going thru my mind I talked myself into dipping again after a 7 day quit and had one on December 19th. I couldn't even enjoy it....I felt like I needed it but all I kept thinking about was my mouth. So that night I gave my mouth a good scan with a flashlight in the dark....bottom gums and inner lip looked good....but for the first time, I wanted to check my upper gums for once....which I never did before because I've always chewed on the bottom two sides, so that's always been the area for concern to me. As I was looking around, I noticed way in the back on my right side, back by my molars...where my gums and cheek come together I had this white spot.
I already had a dentist appointment scheduled for the coming week. When I went in, I told the girl who was about to clean my teeth about the issues I've been having and my dipping history. I told her I wanted 2 sets of eyes to do a cancer scan for me, her and the dentist. She did hers, said I looked good all around besides the white spot, and said that the dentist will take a look.
Dentist comes in....makes sure the cleaning was good. Does his oral cancer check, says I look good besides the white patch. He looks at it for a good 3-4 minutes, playing with it, stretching it....and then tells me he's never seen anything like that before. Normally, when he's looking for oral cancer, it's usually a sore, or a white/red (or both) patch that is cratered or raised....some type of texture. Mine is flat and smooth with no texture. He gives me a written referral to an oral surgeon to get another opinion. He says it could be nothing but a second opinion is needed to at least give me peace of mind.
With Christmas and the surgeon having 2 different locations...one local and one an hour away...I couldn't get in until this coming Monday. So we'll see what happens. And I will admit, at times I've talked myself into it being nothing, switched to pouches, and have thrown a few in still (and then hate myself after). But today is the day, I'm done. I need to be and I need you guys to talk to.
I've been on so many websites to self diagnose myself, it's exhausting. Trying to find an exact picture of what I have going on so I can tell myself not to worry...but no such luck. I don't even know how long I've had it....like I said I've never looked at my upper gums before. It could have been weeks or months already. And I'm the type of guy who reads about oral cancer and early symptoms....that I talk myself into having these symptoms. Especially because I think I have a small sinus infection...so my one ear doesn't ache but it feels a little clogged and my voice is a little horse once in awhile because of a nasal drip I hope. If I am sick, it couldn't have happened at worse time, because some of the symptoms are the same...so that drives my mind crazy. Sometimes I feel hot with swollen glands and can't tell if it's real or in my head.
I don't know if the dentist not knowing exactly what it is, is a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it's better than him looking at it and saying "yup, that looks like oral cancer".....what do you guys think....chewing for 12 years on the bottom and then getting this white spot/patch on my upper gums way in the back....a spot I never chewed on. You would think if something is going to form from dipping, it would more than likely happen in the spots where I sat with a dip for hours at a time no? I know nobody here is a doctor, just looking for other opinions or if anyone went thru anything similar.
Sorry I've typed so much...I promise I won't do this every time. But it did actually make me feel better getting all of it out. Thanks guys and I look forward to talk to you soon. Wish me luck on Monday.
