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Until then, you've failed before because you Wouldn't quit, not because you can't
A lesson from a parent dying of lung cancer, Who taught her son to quit
"I have terminal lung cancer. I am going to die within two months. I am here to quit smoking. I want to make it clear that I am not kidding myself into thinking that if I quit I will save my life. It is too late for me. I am going to die and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. But I am going to quit smoking."
"You may wonder why I am quitting if I am going to die anyway. Well, I have my reasons. When my children were small, they always pestered me about my smoking. I told them over and over to leave me alone, that I wanted to stop but couldn't. I said it so often they stopped begging. But now my children are in their twenties and thirties, and two of them smoke. When I found out about my cancer, I begged them to stop. They replied to me, with pained expressions on their faces, that they want to stop but they can't."
"I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I am off two days now, and I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
"I enrolled in the clinic to pick up any tips that would make quitting a little easier and because I was real curious about how people who really were taught the dangers of smoking would react. If I knew then what I know now- well, anyway, I have sat and listened to all of you closely. I feel for each and every one of you and I pray you all make it. Even though I haven't said a word to anyone, I feel close to all of you. Your sharing has helped me. As I said, I wasn't going to talk. But today I have to. Let me tell you why."
She turned to the two ladies in the back, who Joel recalls had listened to her every word. "The only reason I am speaking up now is because you two BITCHES are driving me crazy. You are partying in the back while everyone else is sharing with each other, trying to help save each other's lives." She told them about the young woman whose brother was killed and how they laughed, totally unaware of her loss.
"Will you both do me a favor, just get the hell out of here! Go out and smoke, drop dead for all we care, you are learning and contributing nothing here." Joel recalls they sat stunned. He had to calm the group as things had become "quite charged." Needless to say, writes Joel, "that was the last of the gabbing from the back of the room for the entire two-week clinic."
All present that night were successful in remaining nicotine-free. The two ladies who had earlier talked only to each other were applauded by all during graduation, even by the lady with lung cancer. "All was forgiven," recalls Joel. The lady who'd lost her brother was also present, nicotine-free and proud.
"And the lady with lung cancer proudly accepted her diploma and introduced one of her children. He had stopped smoking for over a week at that time. Actually, when the lady with cancer was sharing her story with us, she had not told her family yet that she had even quit smoking," wrote Joel. Six weeks later his mother was dead.
When Joel called to see how she was doing her son answered. He thanked Joel for helping her quit at the end and told him how proud she was and how proud he was of her. "She never went back to smoking, and I will not either," he said.
She'd taught her children a falsehood and as her final lesson sought to set the record straight. It wasn't that she couldn't quit but that she wouldn't. I too was once convinced "I couldn't" but it was a lie. It was a lie sold to me by a mind taken hostage by nicotine, a captive mind that had me believing that my next fix was more important than life itself.
Exerpts from a free pdf book by Polito JR entitled
"Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home"
Copyright 2008 John R. Polito
