Author Topic: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go  (Read 2231 times)

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Offline Rawls

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2018, 10:08:00 AM »
Great intro... Weez!
The grind is important.
It's the crazy sometimes that keeps us going.
Take what you need.
And keep helping others.
Congrats on half HOV!
I quit with you today.
Rawls 1379
I believe.....

Offline rfweezy

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2018, 07:25:00 PM »
Wow, I haven't updated this thread in a minute. What better time than day 50.

I'd say all in all the first 30 days were pretty tough. After about three weeks, the anxiety started getting better and sleep slowly progressed. It wasn't until about the 30 day mark where I felt like sleep was back to normal. My mornings were much better, found myself less moody and down, overall a much better way of life. It's nice being able to commit to social activities and not have to worry about sneaking a dip in.

The main hurdle was getting through a weekend at the lake with two of my best friends that are dippers. Thankfully, they know I'm quit, won't pressure me, and I was able to have discussions about it while not forcing a way of life on them. If this were 5 years ago, I'd get a response of "I'm not a quitter, don't be a p****." Now everyone is supportive which certainly helps the process. Anyways, one enjoyable thing from that weekend was...and I don't know if you have ever dipped on a boat with no spittoon going 30 across the water and then trying to spit into the water and it inevitably ending up on the side of the boat or on the side of your person...well, one thing I didn't need to worry about. (Never was a gutter, surefire way for me to get sick) Over that weekend, we drove the boat over to some friends house and met up with my buddy, his wife, his 1 yr old son, his parents, his in-laws, etc. and one of the guys I was with had an obnoxiously sized hog in and I couldn't help but to think how stupid he looked and then thought to myself, that was me all those years? Get a grip, you're addicted.

From 30-45 was pretty much autopilot mode. I felt like I was returning back to normal. Still shades of anxiety, but for the most part gone. I went to the doctor a few times and took a bit of medicine for a week or so, but haven't thought about it in awhile. That being said, don't be ashamed to see someone if you're going through some shit! Talking it out will help you!

After 45, this weekend just kind of snuck up on me. I was in a bad mood both Saturday and Sunday with an overall bland outlook on life and just thinking I'd be much better off with a dip. There was a moment of clarity however. There are things I definitely want to change in my life and I think I've had those feelings for awhile, but nicotine always numbed it to where I didn't pay attention to my natural desires. I said to myself that I'd rather go through this uneasiness to know what I naturally crave or I'm just prolonging what I want to eventually do.

I've had my moments on this site where I read responses and I get fed up with some of the personalities here. I always come around and appreciate the honesty, accountability, and the true meaning of why this site works the way it does. Proud as hell to be 50 days from putting dirt in my mouth. Here's to another minute, hour, and day. Keep grinding.
HOF: 10/15/18

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Offline Capital70

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2018, 08:34:00 PM »
Great wins! Keep it up! Reading your stuff gives me strength!
Capital70
Quit Date May 27th, 2018
HOF September 3rd, 2018
Intro/Quit Journey
HOF Speech- I Get To
"The more I sacrifice, the harder it is to surrender"
"F#*k man, just post roll and keep your promise" -batdad
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Offline rfweezy

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2018, 07:14:00 PM »
I incepted myself in the form of a dip dream last night, my first one. I don't remember a lot of it, but I had woken up and freaked out that I had dipped and went to check the mirror. Had dip all over my mouth and was so confused. The ole dream within the dream...woke up again (actually) to realize it was all a dream. When I did wake up, I just laughed. This was the first morning I haven't woken up with any anxiety since this process began and I was happy to finally be able to go for a run in the morning. I run marathons and am training for a half currently so that was throwing my game off.

I don't think I'm officially out of "the fog" yet, but I'm finally seeing signs of progress. Didn't have any plans today, so a lot of my thoughts led to "I'd be a lot less bored if I still dipped". But then you're like, really? Spitting into a bottle is going to keep you from being bored? How dumb does that sound?

An interesting story from yesterday. Went to a friends house who still dips and he's an extreme extrovert, the sort that is disappointed when the last person leaves his house if he has a gathering. He knows I've quit and won't dip in front of me, which I don't mind, but the thought is awesome. He started laughing to himself when we were hanging out and later told me what he was laughing about. He said that in his mind, he was kind of hoping I'd get bored and head back home so he could take a dip. It was then that he realized the hold nicotine can have on you. It can completely change the way you naturally think and get in the way of things you enjoy. Something to think about.
HOF: 10/15/18

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Offline Capital70

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2018, 10:24:00 PM »
Great detail! Morning anxiety, sleep, and overall uneasiness have all gotten better! Stay the course!
Capital70
Quit Date May 27th, 2018
HOF September 3rd, 2018
Intro/Quit Journey
HOF Speech- I Get To
"The more I sacrifice, the harder it is to surrender"
"F#*k man, just post roll and keep your promise" -batdad
Quitters I've Met- 69Franx, Wiesman71, McDave, Jeidi1991
Bad asses quit....everyone else stays addicted

Online worktowin

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2018, 10:13:00 PM »
Quote from: rfweezy
Wanted to add to my intro to keep up with progress, mainly because I want to keep myself accountable and because I want to see progress. It's hard to see progress when you're in the fog or currently craving.

From Day 11:

Had like an hour and a half of feeling really down tonight after the gym. I'd be lying if on the way home the thought of "fuck it, a dip would cure it all" didn't pop in my head. Just gotta drive straight home and not entertain the thought. I was able to do that by keeping up with this site and seeing inspiration. Now after a short bout of feeling like crap about decisions I'll never be able to change, I'm over here catching up on the tour de France with bleaching trays in, LOL. I'm telling myself that my brain is just in the process of rewiring, whereas earlier I'd deal with those thoughts with nicotine, I'm starting to realize that just delays a solution to whatever issue is on your mind, assuming it's a real issue (let's be honest, in the fog a lot of them aren't). You can tuck that shit away and never deal with it, or FITFO (figure it the f out). Thanks for your inspiration. Look forward to another +1 tomorrow.

These are moments where you need to reach out to your fellow quitters.

Day 12: Today. Not a great day. Spent some time texting with BBQ which was nice. Mornings are still full of anxiety and I've yet to sleep until my alarm goes off due to just an overall uneasiness. At closer to 4, I just got all up in my feelings as the kids say. Depressive feelings and the thought of picking this addiction back up curing it all. My thoughts were "can nicotine mask these types of feelings for that long to where you're feeling them all now?" "Can nicotine withdrawal make you feel like you aren't happy when you been perfectly happy until you quit?" I'd like to see some improvement. Head. Games. Day by day.
Day 12. After 15 years... brother, if you donÂ’t take anything else away from this... nicotine is one big lie. I want you to think back over the past 15 years of you throwing your hard earned after tax dollars at big tobacco. How many buzzes did you get after that first one? 2? 3 maybe? Maybe.

Nicotine does 2 things... it pulls you into a selfish place where you focus on yourself, and it takes away the side effects of withdrawal. On the first front, sometimes we mentally detach from life when we feed the addiction. The lows and highs level out. We self medicate to not “feel.” Other times we hide... in the car, the shower, wherever...but we miss out on life. On the second front, this is obvious.

Nicotine doesnÂ’t help. It will kill you though. Savor these days. Keep documenting them. When life gets better and easier, and it will, youÂ’ll appreciate reading the total bullshit that this drug put you through.

Offline rfweezy

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2018, 10:03:00 PM »
Wanted to add to my intro to keep up with progress, mainly because I want to keep myself accountable and because I want to see progress. It's hard to see progress when you're in the fog or currently craving.

From Day 11:

Had like an hour and a half of feeling really down tonight after the gym. I'd be lying if on the way home the thought of "fuck it, a dip would cure it all" didn't pop in my head. Just gotta drive straight home and not entertain the thought. I was able to do that by keeping up with this site and seeing inspiration. Now after a short bout of feeling like crap about decisions I'll never be able to change, I'm over here catching up on the tour de France with bleaching trays in, LOL. I'm telling myself that my brain is just in the process of rewiring, whereas earlier I'd deal with those thoughts with nicotine, I'm starting to realize that just delays a solution to whatever issue is on your mind, assuming it's a real issue (let's be honest, in the fog a lot of them aren't). You can tuck that shit away and never deal with it, or FITFO (figure it the f out). Thanks for your inspiration. Look forward to another +1 tomorrow.

These are moments where you need to reach out to your fellow quitters.

Day 12: Today. Not a great day. Spent some time texting with BBQ which was nice. Mornings are still full of anxiety and I've yet to sleep until my alarm goes off due to just an overall uneasiness. At closer to 4, I just got all up in my feelings as the kids say. Depressive feelings and the thought of picking this addiction back up curing it all. My thoughts were "can nicotine mask these types of feelings for that long to where you're feeling them all now?" "Can nicotine withdrawal make you feel like you aren't happy when you been perfectly happy until you quit?" I'd like to see some improvement. Head. Games. Day by day.
HOF: 10/15/18

HOF Speech

Offline Fitz

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2018, 08:19:00 AM »
Kudos to you for making the move to quit, brother. It's gonna get easier. I'm just now on day 10 and finally without the horrible headache. It's crazy to see how many symptoms I dismayed and still convinced myself to just continue dippin'.

Stick with it, man. cowboy

Offline Capital70

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2018, 09:43:00 PM »
Welcome to the party! You are with a great group of quitters! Use the tools and help others! Send me your number if you want! IÂ’m in September group on day 53. I will quit with you today!
Capital70
Quit Date May 27th, 2018
HOF September 3rd, 2018
Intro/Quit Journey
HOF Speech- I Get To
"The more I sacrifice, the harder it is to surrender"
"F#*k man, just post roll and keep your promise" -batdad
Quitters I've Met- 69Franx, Wiesman71, McDave, Jeidi1991
Bad asses quit....everyone else stays addicted

Offline copequits

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Re: Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2018, 09:36:00 PM »
Great intro, and you're right, the years can pile up. I did it for 23 years and am at the same place you are. Glad to quit with you today!

Offline rfweezy

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Intro - Day 10 an a long way to go
« on: July 17, 2018, 08:56:00 PM »
Hey all, I've stumbled upon this site after googling any number of things to help with my quit, specifically for comfort that I'm experiencing the same feelings others have in the past. I'm glad I stumbled upon this one. I had been here probably a few days after my quit, but didn't make it to the forum, more or less gathered info from the homepage. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized the community existed. I decided to sign up, post roll this morning and hop in the October group to join in this journey together.

I've dipped for almost 15 years and I was never partial to a particular brand, I switched up often, but was recently on Cope Wintergreen. It's honestly hard to type "15 years" because that doesn't even make sense that I've had this addiction for that long. I thought I took my last dip on Dec. 31, 2010...I was wrong. Went over a year without giving in and add me to the "I can just have one" list. We all know how that story ends. I initially tried to quit again towards the end of June, but hadn't fully committed. I was starting to get worried about my long-term health. Throat was hurting, jaw had weird pains, general paranoia...I decided I at least needed to begin the mental process of accepting that I had to quit.

So after stopping for a few days and then giving in for the next week for so, I told myself I'd dial it back and only dip when I got off work and the one after breakfast on the weekends. I think we all know how that can work out as well. I had my last dip on July 7th in the evening, not intentionally, but I put it in for maybe two minutes and was kind of disgusted. So my quit date was July 8th, the day before my 33rd birthday. I've seen too many posts that say "I did this for 25-30 years" and I saw how easy it was to rack up 15. There's no better time than now.

These 10 days have been tough. Ups and downs and filled with anxiety, but there is hope to be free from these emotions and to not be tied down by this. Excited to join the October crew. Feel free to PM me whenever.
HOF: 10/15/18

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