Long Intro from a Sneaky Dipper

[Kubiak]

So fuckin nasty... it just evolves, baby steps to jogging to sprinting... I realized that on Friday morning, the dude that cleans up our office was bringing in a special trash can to put my garbage bags in because there were so many coffee cups full of chew spit. Didn't start out that way, I used to dump them in the toilet, then the sink but I clogged it once, so in the trash they went. Fucking nicotine makes things seem logical that are complete bullshit.

[SirDerek]

You will find alot of us here are very much alike. For me in the cubicle setting it was a 2nd coffee mug with a lid.

I just needed to make sure I was reaching for the correct thing.

But now it is a keep QUIT.

[nc35hunter]

I know how that work place dipping begins.  At first I only did it on the rides to and from work, and at home.  Then I started to leave the building and sit in the car with the windows down (last September).  Then I'd sit in the car with the heater on full blast during the winter.  AC on during the spring.  I ended up just putting them in at work and spitting into the trash basket in my cubicle.  Every minute with the dip in I felt like I was watching porn or something...so scared someone would walk by when I was mid-spit.  I hated having to talk to someone with a mouthful of spit, or even having to swallow all the juices because I got called into the boss man's office.

cdmavs - that is scary familiar. I also pulled the midday-in-the-car dip more than I would like to admit.

Thanks for your all of your replies guys. Looking forward to posting roll tomorrow.

[cdmavs41]

Welcome to the November group hunter! I know how that work place dipping begins. At first I only did it on the rides to and from work, and at home. Then I started to leave the building and sit in the car with the windows down (last September). Then I'd sit in the car with the heater on full blast during the winter. AC on during the spring. I ended up just putting them in at work and spitting into the trash basket in my cubicle. Every minute with the dip in I felt like I was watching porn or something...so scared someone would walk by when I was mid-spit. I hated having to talk to someone with a mouthful of spit, or even having to swallow all the juices because I got called into the boss man's office.

I don't have kids or a wife to relate to you by, but I have all the rediculous workplace dipping tendencies. I have wasted soooo much time (and gas money to heat or cool the car) during my work day on this crap.

Let me know if you need anything.

[flyingfree]

Welcome hunter!

Doesn't it feel good to not lie anymore? To not worry about your wife asking if you've been dipping when you come home or getting caught at work?

You don't need that shit man, it eats you up inside. I know how that works. Proud to quit with you today.

[kana]

What I love about being here is you'll always read something that hit's home. Words or a story that make you think about your own quit. Your story is very similar to mine. Do you love your kids? Do you love your wife? Probably a dumb question right? I love mine too, and would lay down my life for them. This is what I'm doing. I'm owning my quit like a man, so I can take care of my family.
When I die it won't be from my hand. I will have peace that I conquored the bitch, and put her in her place.
I told myself and God that I'd quit when my son was born. That was 5 yrs ago. I'm tired of feeling the fool. Now my son comes in my office every morning and asks for a back scratch. The best part of my day! I hold him and tell myself I'm quit. Then I tell my bros in here that I'm Quit!
Be strong My Brothers!

[G]

As you now know, you're an addict and there is no such thing as "just one." For me, just one = can a day slavery, often hiding in the bathroom from my family.

Welcome. Post roll. Keep your word to remain nic free that day. Repeat.

If I can do it, you can do it. Good to be quit with you.

[klark]

I want to start by saying thanks to you guys who started this forum and keep it going every day. I have been reading here for the past couple of weeks. Today is day 3 of my quit and today is the first day I have had the guts to post roll. I am not going to cave today.

I am what some people on this site have described as a "ninja" dipper. I have been sneaking around my wife and family to keep up this habit for almost 4 years now.

Here is my story - I have been thinking about it a lot lately and it will help me to get it out there. I am 30 years old. I have a wife and 16-month old twins, a boy and a girl. I started smoking when I was 18 and smoked like a stack for my first 3 years of college. I also drank too much and used other recreational drugs. I started dating a girl (now my wife) who encouraged me to quit and supported me, and I cleaned up a lot of my life but not all of it. I "quit" smoking in August of 2003. I say "quit" because I didn't really quit for good. I did stop smoking on an everyday basis. But Within 3 months or so, I was bumming a smoke or two at parties, or having an occasional cigar.

It went on like that for years. I never considered myself a smoker anymore, but when the opportunities came up I did smoke. Frequently. I used to get away with it during the week because my wife traveled for work. Then in 2008 she stoppped traveling and got a local job. I couldn't get away with my Monday night cigarettes anymore. The solution? Almost without thinking about it, one day I stopped and picked up a can of Skoal mint. That was pretty much it. I didn't like the mint and I didn't love the spitting, but I LOVED that nicotine rush. Way better than any cigarette ever was. That was the day I truly got hooked and started hiding it.

I am an avid hunter and fisherman, and for a while I kept my dipping confined to those activities. It started once every couple of weeks. Then basically every weekend. I joined a softball team and could get a mid-week fix there every now and again. I would always throw the can away on the way home and never kept it around. I thought I could handle it, and I was wrong. I told myself I would stop dipping after my kids were born, and I didn't. I told myself I would quit when I turned 30, and I didn't. I told myself I would quit as a New Year's resolution, and I didn't.

Then this year got really stressful at work and I discovered I could dip there too. Because I "needed" it to help me "relax." Just closed my door, slid in a little chew, and nobody was the wiser. I never let myself dip every day at work, but it got more and more frequent as time went on. First 1 day a week when I would work late at night (plus a few on the weekend), then 2 days, then recently 3. If I am honest with myself, I used to make excuses to work late just so I could dip. That was an awful thing to do to myself and my family.

About two weeks ago I sat down and wrote myself a letter. I had to own up to the fact that I was really and truly addicted, and I vowed to quit. I told myself it would never get any easier, only harder with time if I kept feeding the addiction. I tried to quit that day, made it 7 days and then caved. I was bitterly ashamed of myself. But now I am back on track and feeling good about it.

I am here partly because I have been sneaking around with my dipping for so long that I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. I only have one friend who dips and he has no interest in quitting. I want to be accountable to someone other than myself.

This time, when the tough moments come, I am going to ask for your help instead of caving.

Great choice in quitting, we post our promise daily here as you have probably read, if not let me know and I will be glad to help you.

You need support at home, no way around it if you want this to work. You need to come clean with your wife, she needs to know what you are going through as this is not going to be easy.

Post your word up and keep reading, as chewie would say, this is not easy but it's totally worth it.

[nc35hunter]

I want to start by saying thanks to you guys who started this forum and keep it going every day. I have been reading here for the past couple of weeks. Today is day 3 of my quit and today is the first day I have had the guts to post roll. I am not going to cave today.

I am what some people on this site have described as a "ninja" dipper. I have been sneaking around my wife and family to keep up this habit for almost 4 years now.

Here is my story - I have been thinking about it a lot lately and it will help me to get it out there. I am 30 years old. I have a wife and 16-month old twins, a boy and a girl. I started smoking when I was 18 and smoked like a stack for my first 3 years of college. I also drank too much and used other recreational drugs. I started dating a girl (now my wife) who encouraged me to quit and supported me, and I cleaned up a lot of my life but not all of it. I "quit" smoking in August of 2003. I say "quit" because I didn't really quit for good. I did stop smoking on an everyday basis. But Within 3 months or so, I was bumming a smoke or two at parties, or having an occasional cigar.

It went on like that for years. I never considered myself a smoker anymore, but when the opportunities came up I did smoke. Frequently. I used to get away with it during the week because my wife traveled for work. Then in 2008 she stoppped traveling and got a local job. I couldn't get away with my Monday night cigarettes anymore. The solution? Almost without thinking about it, one day I stopped and picked up a can of Skoal mint. That was pretty much it. I didn't like the mint and I didn't love the spitting, but I LOVED that nicotine rush. Way better than any cigarette ever was. That was the day I truly got hooked and started hiding it.

I am an avid hunter and fisherman, and for a while I kept my dipping confined to those activities. It started once every couple of weeks. Then basically every weekend. I joined a softball team and could get a mid-week fix there every now and again. I would always throw the can away on the way home and never kept it around. I thought I could handle it, and I was wrong. I told myself I would stop dipping after my kids were born, and I didn't. I told myself I would quit when I turned 30, and I didn't. I told myself I would quit as a New Year's resolution, and I didn't.

Then this year got really stressful at work and I discovered I could dip there too. Because I "needed" it to help me "relax." Just closed my door, slid in a little chew, and nobody was the wiser. I never let myself dip every day at work, but it got more and more frequent as time went on. First 1 day a week when I would work late at night (plus a few on the weekend), then 2 days, then recently 3. If I am honest with myself, I used to make excuses to work late just so I could dip. That was an awful thing to do to myself and my family.

About two weeks ago I sat down and wrote myself a letter. I had to own up to the fact that I was really and truly addicted, and I vowed to quit. I told myself it would never get any easier, only harder with time if I kept feeding the addiction. I tried to quit that day, made it 7 days and then caved. I was bitterly ashamed of myself. But now I am back on track and feeling good about it.

I am here partly because I have been sneaking around with my dipping for so long that I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. I only have one friend who dips and he has no interest in quitting. I want to be accountable to someone other than myself.

This time, when the tough moments come, I am going to ask for your help instead of caving.