Hi All,
I am addicted to chewing tobacco. I have been dipping consistently for 12 years, and will be turning 33 years old this December. As of last night at 9:45pm CST, I have had my last dip. I have certainly said that before, tried that before, but this will be the last time I utter those words.
I believe last night I finally had my breaking point, a moment of clarity if you will that put my addiction into perspective and hopefully ended the habit for the rest of my long glorious life. I did not consistently use smokeless tobacco until I was 20 years old as a college athlete, and already having an addictive personality I haven't left the house without a can until last night. On top of things I am part of a profession and now in a part of the country where chewing is ubiquitous, running away from my addiction was near impossible in my eyes as I downed at least a can a day on a good day, two on a bad day, seven days a week.
For the last couple years I have had health problems with migraines, throat and digestive issues with each and every doctor claiming I had a clean bill of health. In the back of my mind I was just counting down the days before my tumor was discovered as I am sure all of you have raced through your mind awaiting results you would rather not receive. Through all the tests, scopes, and scans little was found and little has changed, the problems persist. My Grandfather passed away from colon cancer, my Mother is a survivor of breast cancer since 2011, and now my Father just had his second chemotherapy implant (layman's term) for terminal liver cancer this afternoon back in California.
While talking to my family last night, after knowing about the terminal diagnosis since the end of May, I finally broke down. Cried like a baby while sitting in my office late at night, fully understanding the depth of my Father's situation and the inevitable road I was traveling down. This was my moment of clarity, the thought of putting that poison in my mouth thoroughly disgusts me at the current time but know full well that tomorrow it may be less revolting.
I am in this for the long haul, armed with countless packs of chewing gum and bottles of water, but I know I need your help, desperately. As I sit here roughly 26 hours nicotine free I just hope I have the same strength tomorrow and hope I may help one of you make the decision to quit.
Even though I do not know you, or will ever meet you, I truly love you and thank you, keep up the good fight.
Best,
Coach G