To Everyone,
I joined this online community last year and became an HOF success story in July. Once I hit a 100 days, I became more and more lax with my posts online and keeping up with my quit group. After a while, I was maybe glancing over things here once every week or two. This was my first mistake: I weakened my focus and support, and started looking towards other influences in my life such as co-workers who chewed. Once this had happened, I got blind-sighted by intense work changes and family emergencies (and any other worthless excuse I could come up with). Instead of thinking about my new training on how I didn't need "that fix," I reached out to a friend who was offering me a temporary feel good. I caved last summer, soon after my 100 days.
My second mistake, instead of immediately starting over and trying to regain the ground I worked so hard to keep, I continued to chew in my shame for almost a year, leading up to today. I've started the quitting process over again on Jul 03, 2008. I've come back here, because I know it works - I failed last time because I left. Coming back, I've gotten a lot of mixed responses, some happy to see me back and some giving me less than "warm" welcomes (which I deserve, but makes my second and third day all the tougher). The advice that I can give is to keep your defenses and support up every day, no matter if you are on day 3 or day 2000 in this journey for a better life.
I'm not trying to give an excuse to help diffuse guilt or blame, but merely trying to answer everyone's question of "Where the hell have you been?" I am truly sorry to those I have let down, and I have let down myself the most. This time around is different, I know the dangers ahead. This time around, I have a daughter that I have to live long and well for. This time around, I'm quit for good.
Robert Elliott
aka SuperDiscoBob
