Glad you are here. You need to head over to Feb 2011 and post your word with your group.
You know how to do this so lets get it done. Read everything you can on the site. There are many fantastic posts that will help you understand our addiction.
Below is a recent one that I really like by Skoal Monster
To friends unmet,
I bought a ticket to this ride long ago, maybe you did too. I was too young to understand the consequences, I was too young to care, I was invincible and I liked the buzz. What chance does a kid have against billions of dollars in advertising? I believed that dip was a crutch, that it somehow helped me, that it calmed me, that I could get thru any of life's roller coasters with a can at my side. I thought of it as a friend. It defined me.
I didn't realize how wrong I was.
Nicotine is not a crutch its a ball and chain. It never helped me, I only thought it did. It never helped you either. The relief we felt from chewing was a result of two things only.
First we were relieving the anxiety caused by withdrawl symptoms. Stress reduces the time nic stays in your blood stream, this causes withdrawl. So we crave a fix. When you recieve your dose of nic and eliminate the withdrawl symptoms you feel better. It NEVER HELPED THE PROBLEM, but we believed it did because we felt better, calmer, etc. Fact is, if you were not addicted to nicotine you could have handled the problem calmly and easily in the first place. The addiction made it harder.
Second, the act of taking a chew usually removed us physically or mentally from the problem. I generally preferred to stuff that crap in my mouth in private. I would walk away from fights, or simply give in so I could leave and have a dip. This was simple problem avoidance. But somehow my simple mind believed that it was the dip that was making me feel better. In reality I could have taken a walk, or mowed the lawn, or taken a drive and accomplished the same thing.
Play out that scenario daily for years on end and it gets burned into your mind. A dip will solve your problems. We tell the story over and over and over until we believe it as gospel. I lived the lie for 23 years. I never even learned how to handle conflict without it. Didn't even think I could.
I've seen 1,000 day quitters and day one quitters crumble under this lie. The mistaken belief that somehow a dip will help. I've seen quitters cave after a death in the family, a job loss, a car wreck, financial setbacks, failed marriages, all believing that a dip will help them handle the crisis. It doesn't. That's just a imaginary belief leftover from years of lying and addiction.
I have a friend I never met, she recently relapsed. Personal problems and emotional pain from lifes shit storms drove her back to the can. I asked her a simple question,
" didn't help did it?"
The response was....... "no"
the response is always no, if it helped cavers wouldn't try to quit again.
I have another friend I've yet to meet, quit for close to 2 years, and he is walking on the edge as well. Looking for a crutch, some way to soothe the hurt. He craves a dip, to help him get thru the rough patch. I've felt this way as well, I understand the power of the lie that dip is a crutch, a friend, a help. I know that it won't help and I suspect he does too, but because I believed it for so long, and reinforced it with every stressed out dip I still hold on to it in the part of me that will always be an addict.
After 651 days quit, I find this to be the most dangerous use rationalization for a long term quitter. The mistaken belief that nicotine is a emotional or physical crutch. Life sucks sometimes and I don't know much, but I know that a dip won't make it suck any less. The only thing that shit is good for is keeping you addicted to nicotine. Stay quit
sm
Read this
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asphttp://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp
