Kickin-wing

[Athan]

You've come a long way. I marvel at the lives that intersect mine, especially here at KTC. You never know how your life ripples into those around you nor how far the ripples go. Your month and is blessed to have you. Just wanted you to know.

[Kickin-wing]

This Mongo Bull Shit reminded me of some Words of Wisdom

Here's what I don't like about bsarno's post:  he's not describing tough situations.  He's describing life.   That's what many of your will not "get".  And that's why a fair number of you WILL cave and come back (some 3 or 4 times) with a story of woe....which will be told in response to "what happened?".  Don't give us the fucking "woe was me" story.  That aint' why you caved.   I actually think some cavers come back and assume that quitters (real quitters, not pausers) live some sort of charmed life. 

Here's some news for you...

---over half of you WILL go through SERIOUS spousal issues and get divorced.  Unless you live in that town were all the kids are above average.
---your parents WILL die.  Some of them will go through a lot of pain before they pass.  You will feel a lot of that pain.
---You WILL get sick and have some serious health scares.
---32,000+ people WILL die in auto wrecks.  You WILL know one of them.
---You WILL get laid off, fired, demoted, or pressured to do shit you'd rather not do.
---800,000 people will end up filing bankruptcy this year.  You WILL be one or know one or have one asked to crash on your couch.
---You WILL lose a spouse/partner.  Half of you will be alive when it happens.
---A growing number of you WILL outlive your children (primarily to to obesity)
---That asshole with the checkbook WILL be in front of you at the grocery store, and they WILL refuse to write one fucking letter on that check until the last bottle of Ensure is rung up and they've determined that the 2-for-1 coupon does, in fact, cover the large can of SpaghettiOs.
---You WILL go through the same kind of shit everyone throughout history has ever had to go through..not using nicotine does NOT change the laws of "life".


All these things WILL happen, so do yourself a favor and realize it right now.  Bitch about it...sure.  But KNOW that quitting every day means that eventually you'll have to quit on the day Lassie kicks the bucket, the day you your grand baby is diagnosed,  the day you lose the big account, whatever.  Know it now....today...accept that you will have some dark-ass days ahead.  Pray that they pass quickly.  Hope that you live a charmed life.  But PLAN on having to deal with the shit every one of us has dealt with, or will deal with.  Life expectancy is 79 years...how realistic is it to think you'll not have some seriously damn stressful days ahead?


This is all Quitting 101, and I'm not surprised when the same shit comes up in every new group.  But I am always surprised with the number of people that seem to assume that everyone else DOES NOT have issues like they do, and thus need an explanation of what "life" is like.  Quitting nicotine does not give you a pass from shitty life choices or shitty luck. 
I'm not picking on Sarno...well yes...I am picking on him.  No one here owes him a first shot much less a fourth.  It is a privilege to be here, and he's thus far taken advantage of that privilege.  I don't give a shit about his fourth opportunity to fuck us over.  I'm not writing this for him.  I'm writing this for you, the desperate one who has just realized that this nicotine thing has got them by the nads, and that they want help, and that they are desperate enough to actually put in some effort to make this thing stick.  I writing this for the foggy bastard who just may read bsarno's load of boo-hoo and conclude that we aren't serious about really quitting, that it can not really be done.  To you I say this...it can be done.  It IS being done.  YOU can do it.  REGARDLESS of what comes at you.  And when you "get" that...nicotine will be but a joke to you.

There will always be excuses to cave... You don't even need to look that hard...

Quitting is for bad asses... caving is for pussies..

A great post brought up by Batdad in the new February group.  Definitely something to keep in mind, because post-HOF like my fellow Rawkstars, it seems it typically takes some sort of "traumatic" life event to cause a cave.  It's always good to keep perspective, these things happen to a lot of people.  It's not an excuse to cave, it won't help your problems.

[Kickin-wing]

Day 107, I posted this in our October group, but wanted to keep it here as well for passerby:

Today my best friend called me, he is one of the few people in my life I was recently able to be completely honest with about my previous usage and quit.  We had hung out and got a little drunk together when i was in the 50's-70's day blues.  I unloaded pretty hard on him about some personal problems, frustrations with my job, my gf starting her new job, affecting our schedules and quality time, leading to a bit of a rough patch for us.  Of course I unloaded about the quit, and how in the past I'd use the bitch as a crutch to level out my emotions.  Especially to calm down after any disagreements with my lady.  I explained how without it, it's almost like I'm having to relearn how to deal with my emotions.  He had no idea, said he felt bad he hadn't picked up on things.  I think most of  a lot of us (guys) are not usually ones to prod or share, I'm sure the ladies can attest to it.

So today, he prefaced our conversation with, "No one is dying and no one is getting a divorce."  "Fuck." I thought.  A long story of course, but to sum it up him and his wife have been going though some things.  Actually similar to a lot of the stuff I had been going through, and it turns out around a pretty similar time.  He broke down a bit, saying how he didn't want to burden me, after finding out all that I'd been going through.  He needed to unload, like I had to him.  He wasn't necessarily seeking advice, mostly empathy, and to know I was there for him. 

I know dipping is definitely more common in a certain demographic, for starters, men.  Maybe some of you have tried to deal with emotions without dip like I have (or maybe you just embrace being an asshole...).  Maybe, you've also been taught men don't share feelings otherwise you're a pussy (well I've shared my feelings so fucking fight me).  I'm bringing all this up for a couple reasons:

-First, November is Movember, which is men's health awareness month.  We're all about being physically healthy with quitting dip, right?  Well you can quit the dip, hit the gym, drop the sugar, and whatever else, but if you don't deal with the shit going on in your head, you are still going to be unhealthy.  Did you know that 75% of suicides are men? I personally knew 3 guys, and knew of, quite a few others who have been lost to suicide.

-Second, as October comes to a close I know we likely will not see some of you anymore or much, so I wanted to say some things before the end of the month.

I can't speak for the whole group, but I personally will always have an open inbox/intro/phone line for anyone who needs to come bitch about some shit.  Sometimes it's easier to get some perspective, or just lay things out to strangers.  You're not helping yourself shoving that shit down, and you sure aren't gonna hurt anyone complaining about some shit.  To be honest, I think this forum does a great job being empathetic towards peoples personal issues and mental health issues.

Sorry I'm not sorry if this was too soft or emotional for some of you, but seeing my best friend (since we were 13) shaken up like that was pretty scary and I felt inclined to share.  I really wanted a dip after that stressful conversation, but instead I came here.  This is a pretty good video from the Movember folks:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN6bq2hTiSM

[Parputt]

The first 100 days are the worst.  2807 days later I don't even think about dip anymore.  Even when I'm here daily posting my promise I'm not thinking about dip, but the lifelong friendships I've made here at KTC.  Quit on brother, it gets better.

[Kickin-wing]

Day 70

Still learning to focus without the nic, probably was the thing that delayed my quit for so long. Don't at all regret the quit but damn, maybe I need to get some ADD medication!

[Kickin-wing]

Originally posted September 13th, 2018:

Day 65

Feeling proud of this number today. I know it's a little taboo at KTC to pat yourself on the back, and I know that the war is never won, but I take pride in my number. There has been more than a few times where the thought of losing my number has stomped out cravings. So yep, today I'm damn proud of my quit, and I can't wait until this day's over, so that my number can grow tomorrow.

Kickin-wing

[Kickin-wing]

Originally posted September 12th, 2018:

Day 64 of quit.

I've overcome the two month mark which is something I never thought I'd do. I'd been "trying" to quit for who knows how long, I'm glad I took the plunge to start posting here, I know for a fact I wouldn't have made it even this far without KTC. The quit has definitely stirred a lot of things in my mind. I know there's this aspect of rewiring that has to happen, right now I'm feeling like some wires are getting crossed.

Like pretty much everybody else here, any ups or downs would be followed up quickly with a shot of nicotine. Right now this is probably the most difficult aspect for me, that there's no "comfort" after a shitty day, or shitty conversation, or whatever. I have tried to be very mindful of this, as at first I found myself having a drink or two when I was really craving a dip in the beginning of my quit. BAD IDEA, I know, and I've since stomped that out. But this is definitely that battle I'm facing right now. Part of it is work is terrible lately, I'd really like to finish the projects I'm working on and quit, start something new, but that's a story for next time. Gotta power through for now, it's another day quit as I'm about to get ready for bed. One day at a time!

Kickin-wing

[Kickin-wing]

Originially posted September 7th 2018:

Hi all,

This is a very belated intro as I'm currently on day 59, but I wanted to give a proper intro and carve out a piece of my own space on the forum. I'm kickin-wing and I started chewing at 18. Sort of a late bloomer compared to a lot of people, my father chewed since he was 13 until about 35, which kept me off it growing up. I started throwing his cans away when I was about 12, which motivated him to quit. Imagine that, I was smarter as a kid than I was as an adult.

I used dipping as a heavy study aid in college, and as a driving aid on long trips home, and as a relaxation tool, and as a crutch for basically everything you can think of. I've hid it from my family for a decade, I hid it from every girlfriend I ever had, I hid it from most of my friends with the exception of roommates and other people who chewed. Like many I always said, tomorrow, next week, next month, it will be a better time and I'll quit. When exams are over, when I get a job, when the job slows down, I'll quit.

I tried switching to pouches to control my intake and cut down. All that did was teach me to hide it better in my mouth and not have to clean up after. I was so good at ninja dipping I had no accountability, nobody to tell me to cut it out. So what brought me here? I had been wanting to quit for years, and recently my gf and I started getting some supplemental insurance, looking at life insurance. I started googling how to beat a nicotine test. Then I took a minute and looked at myself. "I'm a fraud," I thought. How many people do I need to deceive, lie to, cheat?

I looked at the forums, saw the accountability, the tough love, the embracing of the suck. After a couple of days, I couldn't just quit for 1 more day alone. I posted my first roll, got my first digits, and have just been trying to make it One Day At A Time. Thanks to everybody who has helped me make it this far, looking forward to tomorrow.

-Kickin-wing