Why I need you all
Day two-three has brought about some of the harder hitting craves. I've had one or two moments that were powerful. Chills. That sly addict voice whispering that one dip will take it away. I walk it off in the parking garage, sucking on a wad of jalapeno ranch seeds.
While I was walking around the garage today, I thought back to a night in 2011 on a friend's front yard in Kentucky. We had all been drinking in that sneaky way high school juniors and seniors do. My best friend, my inseparable friend, I'll call him "J," walked out towards the curb where I was standing with some others. He offered up a pack of cigarettes to us.
Up until this night, I had hated the thought of smoking cigarettes. My parents smoked, and I wasn't going to end up like them. Though I was intoxicated, as I looked at the pack in J's outstretched hand there was a moment in which I realized I was walking towards a very dangerous step.
I lit up. And with what I thought was a harmless smoke with my friends, I sealed tight my relationship with Nicotine. From there on my story was more or less the same as all of ours.
What "I quit with you"means to me
The decision was mine, but I was far from alone. My friend, a man whom I trusted, had offered me poison as a gesture of our friendship. Later that year he'd be the same friend with which I'd share my first can of dip, and countless dips thereafter. We chose to kill ourselves together.
While I'm not taking the burden off of myself for making my choice, it's obvious to me that because I made the choice to become an addict together with my friends, it will take friends to pull me away from it.
With that in mind, I want to thank all of you who are quitting with me. I need it.