For half my life I've had a can near at hand. Compared to most folks I know, my habit is relatively mild. It takes me about a week to get through a can. I don't do it at home and only dip around certain people at work. A few pinches per day, another few in the car... Not so bad right? As long as I hide it from those I care about most. As long as it's a secret.
Or so I told myself.
But the fact that I hide this habit from everyone, wife included, is my main reason for being here. Sure, the health risks are grave and that's a great reason to quit. But my personal integrity has been compromised for the last 8+ years because I have always hidden my dip from my wife. She has no idea I chew tobacco. None. Only once in 8 years together she found a can in my backpack, which I easily lied about and said it belonged to a buddy I was traveling with. Just like that, lying to my spouse became an everyday thing.
So I am done hiding, done putting my health at risk, and done being tied to a substance to feel relaxed.
Before landing on this website, I was apprehensive about quitting. Wasn't really sure I wanted to. I was afraid to live with commitment and take on the difficult burden of quitting. My self-doubt encouraged acquiescence, my uncertainty made me weak. I was bound by chains of my own choosing. Not anymore.
So it's time to wake the fuck up and make this happen.
-Alpine
