I can finally admit it. It has taken me 26 days, but I can now reveal a truth about Copenhagen that the Nic Bitch would not allow me to speak, even to myself, or my family, or even my friends. Such a taboo truth to my addicted mind that I was not even able to hear anyone else say it, although looking back, I now realize that it was told to me very often over the last 33 years.
Copenhagen looks, smells, and tastes like ASS.
It leaves your breath and fingers smelling like ASS. It is dark skanky shit that looks like it came out of someones ASS. It makes your eyes water if you take a big sniff from a fresh can. And on more than one occation, usually in a drunken stupor, it was the final straw to cause blowing chunks.
There I have said it. Copenhagen = ASS.
I also now understand that all that minty and candy ass flavored dip on the market is nothing more than perfumed ASS. It is still all ASS at the end of the day.
Further, I used to think that it felt good in my mouth. the diminished gum line, bloody gums, sores, etc. The fact is, it fuckin' hurt most the time.
So why would it take me 33 years to figure this out? Because the Nic Bitch is ruthless, evil, unrelenting, sly, aluring, tricky, lying, demon spawn of the big Tobacco Companies and she had me by the balls. I didn't realize that I could tell her to fuck off 'Finger' and live to tell the tale.
Well my brothers and sisters, I know know that I can. And I must tell her, at least once a day, and usually multiple times a day.
Besides, there are a lot prettier asses out there to suck on than the ASS that comes in the little cans.
So this lesson I learned from KTC is very simple. Choose your ASS carefully.