Never going back

[freeTB12]

I understand and appreciate the support that's available here. I'm only 20 days quit and this site got me though the thick of it in the beginning so wtf do I know. I never made it more than 24 hours without nic since 2002 and I'm 20 days deep. I can say with extreme confidence that I'll never use again, there's too much to lose and now that I've made it out I won't ever need to start over. Yeah I'll get craves, who doesn't, but I know I'll never go back, I've already won in my mind. I'll still post roll because I'm a numbers guy and want to see that number keep ticking up but I can't guarantee that it will be first thing in the morning, it may actually be the last thing I do before bed, get over it. Like I said, I appreciate the support, I really appreciate those who have messaged and emailed me check in, that's rad. I don't get motivated by shit talking, I get motivate by kindness. Reading shit like "you didn't post roll this morning so you're gonna cave" is bullshit, seriously eat a dick man. I wake up at 4am every day to shit, shower and sprint to my truck to get to work on time. I own my own business. I work non stop on my feet away from a computer from 5-10am, then I'm in meetings till noon, work away from my computer off and on. If I'm on my computer I'm responding to the dozens of emails I get a day. If I'm lucky I get home by 9pm just in time to put my daughters down to bed then I do it all over again the next day, 16 hour days 5 days a week. On weekends I spend every waking moment with my family being that I don't see them during the week. It's probably the nic and the recent realization that I hate where I live and want to sell my business and move my family the fuck out of California but I'm fucking pissed, like all day every day. Serious, serious anger running through me every day. I post roll and read the shit that people write and while I understand what you're trying to do I just don't agree with it. Like I said, I'll continue to come on, log my thoughts and post roll but I'm not going to engage, sorry. Hopefully someone else will read what I write as motivation, that's what I have to contribute, I just have too much going on. You can call me a "ghost poster", it doesn't hurt my feelings but I'm still quit and still haven't missed a day of posting roll.

[freeTB12]

Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.

One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.

The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.

FreeTB,

Do you mean Tibet or Tuberculosis? I've been wondering.

Something you may have seen on here is important: one problem + nicotine = two problems. Whenever the shit hits the fan, with moving work, with growing business, with home and family life, never let that thought escape your mind. Most of us have addict brains that tell us a dip will make any given situation better, but that is horse shit. I can relate to your story (biz owner/ two little girls), and I'm only a few weeks ahead of you, but dear god I would never want to return to day 15. Keep plowing through and focus on just today. Anyone can quit for a day.

Tom Brady (#12, greatest of al time)

[LMM]

Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.

One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.

The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.

FreeTB,

Do you mean Tibet or Tuberculosis? I've been wondering.

Something you may have seen on here is important: one problem + nicotine = two problems. Whenever the shit hits the fan, with moving work, with growing business, with home and family life, never let that thought escape your mind. Most of us have addict brains that tell us a dip will make any given situation better, but that is horse shit. I can relate to your story (biz owner/ two little girls), and I'm only a few weeks ahead of you, but dear god I would never want to return to day 15. Keep plowing through and focus on just today. Anyone can quit for a day.

[worktowin]

Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.

One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.

The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.

[freeTB12]

Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.

[freeTB12]

Days 11 and 12 have easily been the most crave moments I've had since quitting. Wanted to throw a lip more than I have so far during the last 24 hours. Obviously I'm quit and don't use tobacco or those gay vape pens (unless it's THC).

[freeTB12]

As I approach my two week mark I feel in total control of my quit. My mindset is to kill or be killed and is starting to bleed over into other bad habits I have. I have 2 or 3 small craves a day but they pass quickly. I haven't come close to pulling into a 711 parking lot and have only been filling up my truck at gas stations I already know don't carry my flavor. In 10 full quit days I've learned a lot and know I'm in control, I will not let flavored tobacco control me. Fuck big tobacco and fuck the people in power that allow them to thrive on us.

[freeTB12]

Nice to know I'm not the only 1 to throw half empty cans out the window. I drive the Brown Truck for a living and there are many rural route drive ways and roads that have those half cans in them.
Sure as hell I can remember where they are too, but I made the promise to stay quit for that day that morning so I do not get out and look in the grass or trees for them.
1 day at a time I'm going to win.

Dude, good job. Don't go back. I'm on 10 days and never made it more than 24 hours in 10 years. It's a brutal first week, drink a shit ton of water and don't cave to the nic bitch. Food is already tasting better and I'm happier. I've saved $60 so far in 10 days too. I started a separate savings account that I transfer $6 per day in, I plan on doing this and using it for a family vacation each year.

[longman1]

Nice to know I'm not the only 1 to throw half empty cans out the window. I drive the Brown Truck for a living and there are many rural route drive ways and roads that have those half cans in them.
Sure as hell I can remember where they are too, but I made the promise to stay quit for that day that morning so I do not get out and look in the grass or trees for them.
1 day at a time I'm going to win.

[freeTB12]

Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.

He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.

Thing that gets me is he was still awake after 3 Ruination IPA's!!!! :D

I could have kept going. I LOVE beer.

[CavMan83]

Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.

He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.

Thing that gets me is he was still awake after 3 Ruination IPA's!!!! :D

[Miker0351]

Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.

He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.

[freeTB12]

Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.

[freeTB12]

To anyone thinking about quitting:

The best part of quitting is not hiding anything from my wife and family. I have an office/studio at home and work on video editing at night once the kids are asleep. I'll usually have head phones on to capture all the sound that would be lost in the room through my monitors but would either have an ear off or constantly looking over my shoulder in case the wife came in to chat. Sometimes I wouldn't have any work that I HAD to do but would just spend time looking through old footage to see if I could put a quick Instagram video together just so I could dip a little longer before bed. All of that would raise my adrenaline so that when I would finally call it a night I'd go to bed and have to put something on the tv to fall asleep.

It's insane what a difference 7 days makes. 7 days is no time at all, the first 3 were tough but I'm still breathing. I stocked my fridge Friday afternoon and then bunkered down for the weekend and didn't leave the house so that I didn't have to drive by the 711 that is at the bottom of the hill that I have to pass every single day. Monday and Tuesday I made phone calls so that I had to pass the 711 and stay on the phone. Wednesday I woke up a little late and had to get to work quick so I had no time to stop. Yesterday and today I had zero urge to stop in the morning though I had short craves lasting literally 2 seconds a couple times then it was instantly gone. Any time I crave I tell myself that I don't use tobacco, I never have, and the crave is gone.

It's important to not drink alcohol during this first week, alcohol ruins your self control, it's the worst. I'm a regular MJ user but I hate chewing after smoking due to the cottonmouth so thats always been a way for me to let the burn subside, just fire a bowl up. MJ should be introspective, I get hyper focused and am able to almost slow down time and take a good look inside. All of the times that I tossed full tins away was when I was stoned, I've always known how terrible it was.

I put myself into situations on purpose all week where I would normally chew (except for drinking alcohol). I golfed twice which would normally be a tin+, I drove 100 miles twice which I normally would have had a lip in the whole drive, I went to Thrice last night and would have dipped the whole time. It's important to me to go out and enjoy what I enjoy without being a slave anymore. I took the first two days to lock myself indoors, went through insane anxiety the next three days and came out day 6 feeling pretty good. Today, day 7, I feel pretty fucking great and ready to take the wife out for a fun night tonight. Each day is a battle but like everyone is saying, one day at a time. It's the same with anything you do just take it one day at a time and before you know it (especially if you have kids) a shit fuck ton of time has passed and you're living how you want to live.

Don't wait another moment, I spit out my last chew at 7:46pm Friday. Every day at 8pm I complete another day. The last thing I get to think about before I fall asleep is that I just made it another day.

[Steakbomb18]

Golfed 18 while my bro puffed on black n milds no issues it actually just smelled good. Just got back from Thrice and completed my 6th day. I'll be a full week quit tomorrow. Everyone's support is much appreciated.

They'll be a point where the smell will make you nauseous ...and angry. F nicotine and every ounce of its being. Awesome accomplishment and display of badassery by staying quit through all that. Huge. Simply, huge win.