Hi, my name is Frank.
I started dipping a little over 2.5 years ago at my warehouse job when my manager offered me some to help me stay awake during 3rd shift. Not long after, my grandfather (91) was diagnosed with oral cancer of which he passed this previous December. He never dipped, smoked, or drank, ever.
I'm here now for 2 reasons:
The first being that I'm sick of failing each and every quit I've ever undertaken, and seriously have gotten so sick of being dependent on this crap, physically and emotionally. I'm through a can a day and have been since last summer. My gums are starting to turn brown. Spitters all over my house. I'm terrified of meeting a woman and revealing this disgusting habit to them. I want OUT.
Second, I have a sore on the left side of my gum, behind the first molar. Just came up today, has a small grouping of red dots around it. Might have been the dip, might have been the Turkey sandwich I ate this morning. I dont know, but my brain is screaming cancer as it has done many times before. I have a dentist appointment sometime in the next few weeks and as ashamed as I'll be to tell him I havent quit yet, I'd be even more distraught to be diagnosed with cancer by the same man who found it in my grandpa.
I just prayed for the first time in years. I cant sleep. I have a lymph node on the left side of my neck behind the ear that is still small but definitely more firm than it should be. In May I saw my physician and she said it is no big deal.
I know this is an insane wall of text but I am at my limit and am now crippled with anxiety and feelings of impending doom. Please, help me.
You're in the right spot sir... welcome.
What you're feeling and what you're going through mimics the story of many here. We all of our own reasons for quitting but they all lead us to one truth - we no longer want to be beholden to a little can in our back pocket.
Hope to see you back today for a Day 1 of your journey.
You CAN do this and you're NOT alone.
Chewie
Hi Chewie, thanks for the welcome.
I've been through the "every bump in my mouth is cancer" riggamorol before and last night seemed to be no exception as my sore has healed.
I've gone the better part of the day without succumbing to cravings. Following advice on this site and from others, I have decided that 7/31 will be my dedicated quit date, and I'll be tapering down my intake between here and there so I wont immediately relapse from severe withdrawals.
Good to be here btw. Really enjoy this site and what it is doing. It's like the antithesis to those YouTube idiots who promote snake oil salesmen like Brad Rodu. Could be wrong on that one, but I doubt it.
Shark - First off welcome; i hope you succeed. Second off, you need to change your mindset in a major way to actually succeed. We are all addicts here. The mind of an addict is a bitch. All of us, and i mean EVERY FUCKING ONE OF US 'planned' our quit date multiple times. It DOES NOT WORK. All you are doing is delaying the inevitable of failing. Your mind will come up with a reason to not quit on July 31st. You may have a bad day and want to dip out of spite to take the edge off. Or maybe you have a great day and you want to put a dip in to celebrate. Or here's the most likely outcome; that sore in your mouth goes away early next week and you convince yourself that there isn't anything to worry about. All i can tell you is that with this strategy, i would bet money you won't be here come next week.
The only way to do it is quit now; throw all that shit out right now. The first 72 hours suck, but you have to embrace the suck and start the clock. I'm only 58 days in; still a newbie. You have to trust the process and you can succeed. I'll provide some more input/insight once i believe you actually will quit with us.
Ruthless
While I have seen successful quits start with a 'planned' quit date, there's a boatload of truth in what Ruthless is saying. The OVERWHELMING majority of 'planned' quit dates come and go. I know I personally blew through hundreds of them.
Here's another thing to consider... if you quit TODAY, but the time your planned quit date rolls around you'll be 6 days into your quit with arguably some of the worst days behind you.
I wrote this way back in 2009... might give you something to think about. https://www.killthecan.org/53-days-ill-never-get-back/
Chewie
This is understood and I thank you for the input. The majority of stuff that I have read states to taper down for a set date but considering the sources I'd assume you all have a better idea of what to do.
The physical symptoms dont bother me too much in terms of mouth pain or what have you.
I've been prone to anxiety attacks since high school and the worst "quit symptoms" I've had are during classes (where I cant dip for obvious reasons, for clarity I go to community college) where my vision goes "fucky" and my body starts trembling. Usually by the time I get out I'm just trying to get out of the state I'm in.
But you guys are trying to help me quit not here to listen to my life story, and I didnt come here to fruitlessly complain. Thank you guys, and I'll keep you updated.
Tossing what I have left of my can now. I'll try to make a 24 hr update over the next 3 days.
Shark,
In order to benefit completely from what this site has to offer, you need dive into your quit completely. "What does that mean?" you may ask, well, for starters, you need to join your quit group and post your promise not to use any nicotine products for the next 24 hours
(You can find your group here).
Yours is the November 2019 group. November is the month that everyone quitting in between today, July 25th and August 23rd will enter what we call "The Hall of Fame" or HOF. It is the first big milestone of 100 days quit and we celebrate that milestone along with many others so our quits remain fresh and unbreakable.
Back to the posting your promise part. Every morning, and I mean EVERY, we don't take weekends or holidays off from posting our promise, go in to your quit group and post your promise to stay nicotine free for the day, keep your word, come back and repeat daily. We post early in our day (Wake Up, Piss, Post - WUPP) so that nicotine is off the table for the day.
Exchange phone numbers with other quitters, especially the ones in your own group. Those numbers give you instant access to support if you need it, they are also the start of your web of accountability and brotherhood.
Once you get comfortable in your own group, you can branch out and post support in other groups and volunteer to help with your groups Spreadsheet of Accountability (SSOA), greet new quitters when they first start to post and help them out. All will make your quit stronger.
Anyway, quitting is the best decision you can make. It will suck and be hard at first but I guarantee you it gets soo much better. Just remember, you are an addict, just like the rest of us and this is not a nasty habit, a habit is picking your nose.
Here is some good advise that I learned for anxiety attacks:
Tips to help with an anxiety attack
-Look around you
-Find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.
This is called grounding. It can help when you feel like you have lost all control of your surroundings.
PM me for my phone number when you get this.
Chris aka chris2alaska 554 nicotine free days in a row
Topic: Terrifying sore. Quitting in the Am. (Read 10576 times)