Welcome FC! Let me be the second after MN to congratulate you on 68 awesome days of win! 2,627 today & I quit with you.
I absolutely promise you that anxiety, even to extremes, is incredibly normal with quitting. I suspect for some that’s because your brain is rewiring itself not having to deal with all the chemicals it was once flooded with. But for many others, the situation I think is as you describe (and I’ve come to learn was probably the case for me). Struggled with anxiety/depression your whole life (I didn’t realize how much I’d had anxiety until I quit), but using nicotine to self medicate. Cope to cope if you will. I sure did. Until it didn’t work anymore. I didn’t realize it until much later, but leading right up to my quit day I was a total mess of anxiety. So forsaking my quit (especially as far as I’d gotten into it when my anxiety became the worst) would’ve done nothing to relieve anxiety, & everything to continue ruining my physical health.
As odd as it might seem to fear things you once loved, such as hunting, or to have old memories come back around again that you might have long forgotten about or thought you’d long put to bed, that IS anxiety (excruciating worry over things which should otherwise not warrant it) as a health issue. Pile on rational excruciating worries on top of that, such as job loss or family health issues, and the results are almost unbearable. I get it.
Story time. I was 14 days in, & still not really understanding anxiety yet or what it would do. What it would feel like. That irrational fear of things you once enjoyed? Came to me while driving out in the field. Hours home, normal highways, nothing I hadn’t driven before, behind the wheel of a normal half ton pickup. Nothing at all to be concerned with. Instead I was so beset by anxiety halfway home that I could no longer drive. I’d thought I’d hit a car with bumper damage (what would become a recurring theme throughout as I first feared driving then learned to love it again), which of course I hadn’t. I kept driving & circling around town before I could even get back on the highway & eventually had to stop & pull over. Broke down crying. I spent an hour texting a guy on here who would become the brother I never had (though I do have a great sis). Cried some more then somehow got back on the highway & made it home. I still thought this was just all because I’d quit, and if only I’d go buy a can again I could feel normal (which of course wouldn’t have been the case). But I persevered until about as far in as you’re at now. When I finally realized that there was something seriously wrong, breaking down crying in the doctor’s office over something else. I got medication. It fixed it, and though I took it for years, I no longer do. I am however working through journaling thoughts & feelings to discover the extent of depression I might have as a result of my own job loss. That’s devastating I think especially for guys who identify so closely with their work & career. But I digress.
But to make a long story short, yes you absolutely can, and will, come through this! I don’t need to tell you how difficult it is, but your quit can remain intact. Honestly please do go see your doc & discuss with him what treatment options there might be. Reading how anxiety is affecting you, my layman opinion is yes, this is something to seek professional help for. It’s not just ‘worry’ or ‘normal’ & won’t necessarily go away on its own.
God bless. Shoot me a PM if you want to chat. I’ll PM you my number too if you prefer to text. If nothing else, please keep us updated here on how it’s going. The peer group here is invaluable for promising & keeping your word to help develop a strong track record of quit. You probably have or had peer groups that normalize dipping (I can count probably a half dozen off the top of my head of different groups that could consider dipping as part of a brotherhood or identity). Here we normalize quit by accepting nothing less than a quitter’s best. To make your promise for today & keep it. You got this.
Topic: Anxiety Help (Read 5835 times)