This is one of those VERY LONG overdue speeches that I promised to myself that after college basketball season wrapped up that I would write. Working in college athletics is a blur and you don't get a second to yourself! Well..... March Sadness, COVID-19 strikes and I find myself with lots of free time on my hands now. In this state of emergency time, I find myself thanking my lucky stars that I am nic free for over 290 days at this point and I didn't stock up on sleeves as I would have in the past.
What a wild rollercoaster this has been so far. Just when you think it's over, the next phase of symptoms sets in and you're there rethinking your life decisions again. I remember my very first dip in college, 20 years old, I had to hold the doorway when the nic hit my soul for the first time. I went through a hard breakup a year later and drove to pick up a can, because why not right? It was the burn that I loved so much, it hurt so good and gave me the void I was seeking. It was the devil in disguise, it took a hold of me that before I knew what happened I was sucked in. I went 0 to 60, buying more and more, up to a can a day, then I moved where it's $10 a can but that still didn't stop me. After a few years of this, it wasn't fun anymore. I started to hate myself, hate how it controlled me but I didn't know how to stop. It was too hard.
I shared some of this with you but I dug up my archived files and it's been on my New Years Eve resolution list to quit dipping since 2010. It was an amazing day, January 1st 2020 when I could honestly say that I did it.
I found KTC a few times with my other 1,000 quit attempts by googling how do you know you have cancer from dip, symptoms of quitting, etc, all I could ever find otherwise was the American Cancer Society website on quitting smoking which was not at all the same. Then.. I was having a baby girl, I wasn't the one to carry but on her due date I quit. I knew the pregnancy/birth from that point on would be distracting enough to get me through the hardest part of the quit. Once I got back home with the newborn, my symptoms hit me like a ton of bricks. I wrote on the KTC main site and they took me under their wing, showed me the way and I guess I did ok for myself because Ruthless and I got to conduct and share our knowledge for the November 2019 group. It's been a great honor to be a part of this website.
I always say, I didn't find KTC, KTC found me, the right time and the right place. We are all here, for a common goal, all walks of life, to kill this nic once and for all! <3 you KTC, always and forever, Sballhouse.
