Hello everyone,
This will be my first and last post, I did not write a letter at 100 days, nor at any other mile stone. I really felt, I had nothing to say that wasn't already said, and was probably said better than I could put it into words anyways. I dipped for 26 years, the cost of my addiction is still not totaled, I may never know the true financial cost. I can tell you the emotional cost will still be greater in the end, those around me paid a much higher price for my addiction than I ever realized, I guess this letter is really to them.
I am sorry I put you through this for so long, I am sorry I forced you to watch me hurt myself so deeply, I am sorry I was not stronger and I could not fight this demon any sooner, I am sorry your love for me was tested so much. I am sorry I hurt myself, and I hurt you. I am sorry for the time lost, that I can never give back to you. Please forgive me for my actions, you have no one to blame but me. I am truly sorry and I love you.
I stand before you all a changed person (1000 days quit), I pray each day for those close to me, I give thanks to God for the time He has granted me with my family and friends. Life is only as great as you make it, If you do not put forth any effort, than don't expect anyone else to do it for you. I have won and lost many battles, I have fallen many times, and have always gotten back up. This is what life is about, its a fight, everyday I fight to be a better person than I was yesterday, not for me but for them.
There will come a day when I can no longer fight the fight, but today is NOT THAT DAY! Today is a new beginning
Thank you K.T.C. for a wonderful platform for Quitters like me. Thank you Shartnados (September 2018) for your support and brotherhood, I hope you understand when I say,
This is where I get off, there was life before dipping, there needs to be life after it, I am ready to close this chapter of my life and put it behind me.
Wishing you all the best in life,
MrC.
