This is a speech I should have never had to write in the first place. But, here I am after 21 years of nicotine use writing a HOF speech and IÂ’m dam proud to be doing it.
I started my affair with nicotine at age 13. I was a little skater punk who thought it was cool to be a smoker. At age 17 or so I decided to take up chewing because I was tired of my car and my clothes smelling like smoke. I also rationalized that I could quit chewing easier than smoking because I had chewed for less time than smoking. Well IÂ’m 34 now and writing a HOF speech so obviously I was not able to quit.
In December of 2007 I woke up and out of the blue decided to quit. I was tired of feeling like shit and tired of always being in a panic if I didnÂ’t have my tin. Later that day I googled quitting tobacco and found KTC registered and started posting roll. I was a member of the April 2008 quit group for 20 something days. On a ski trip to Jackson Hole with a bunch of buddies I broke down and caved. I thought about calling my quit brotherÂ’s but was to embarrassed. I thought it was strange if I did. Why would somebody I have never met give a shit about my chewing? Well my quit brother called me. I still remember 11X4 calling me multiple times asking where I was, why I had not posted roll and if I was quit.
It took me 2 years to return to KTC. I always kept KTC bookmarked, but was not going to post roll until I was 100% positive of my quit because I was not going to screw over another group. After being on again for about a week 11X4 called me out on the carpet. He remembered me from 2 years before and also remembered that he had called me, emailed me to which I ignored. I got a big ass chewing from 11x4 and he really questioned my commitment and ability to quit. At that point I was so pissed all I could think was fuck you 44 I can do this. Thanks 44 for the kick in the ass in the beginning. After that point I was committed to using this site, the tools provided and rely on the support given here by these amazing people. Why should I be embarrassed to reach out? This could be a matter of life and death and donÂ’t be so stupid
There are so many here that I need to thank. This is truly a community of people who care and make a difference. I know for a fact if it was not for HAL, Snowboredm, and wet spot I would not be writing this speech. I have spent many a sleepless night and restless days in Chat with these guys and they have saved my quit and to that I owe so much gratitude and most likely my life. There have so many others that have helped my through. Thanks Coolcop, Bigron, Gump you guys make a difference.
I find myself a little nervous about hitting 100 days. It was such a big goal in the beginning and seemed so un-attainable. So I am renewing my commitment to my quit. I will not let my guard down, I will continue to post roll and I will continue to depend on my quit brothers and will be available 24/7 for them to depend on me. This is not the end but so much of a beginning. Happy 2010!
