Dear Nicotine,
I regret to inform you I will no longer be needing your services effective immediately. Over the past one-hundred days I have come to realize what a total piece of shit you are. I thought I would recap all the things you've meant to me both good and bad. Lets start with the good. You've always been there for me through thick and thin. Whenever I was feeling sad you would be there for me. You were there to help celebrate my childrens births, you were there for something to do when bored, you were there for any circumstance my addict brain could come up with. You were my best friend. No matter what was going on in my life I knew you would be there to make everything seem ok and manageable.
We've had some tough times too. Like the time I found a lump in my throat and had to get an mri and all kinds of shit. Or every time I brushed my teeth my gums would bleed and hurt. or that anxious feeling I would get when my can got low or I couldn't find it. Or the time I threw you out and less than an hour later went digging in the garbage to find you. Or the time my beautiful perfect wife took a swig of dip spit and crashed the car. or everytime my lip got a blister or new sore the bone chilling fear of cancer that would coarse through my body. or the mood swings you gave me when I couldn't put a dip in for a long period of time. Or every spitter I ever knocked over and had to clean up. For making me feel like any activity I did I had to include you to make it fun. or the time I actually took money from kids piggy bank to go buy a can because I couldn't find my wallet. Fucking shameful. I could go on and on.
Nicotine you' ve never been my friend. You have been a deceitful bully. Always getting your way, always dictating what I would do. Well Fuck you. You've been using me for too long. Our friendship is officially over. I know you are going to be like a psycho ex-girlfriend, I will probably never stop hearing from you. You will do the uninvited pop ins, and the unwanted phone calls and reminders, but know I will not acknowledge you. You are dead to me. I will never forget how miserable you made my life. I am free from you. Each day I get a little stronger without you around. I will continue to grow stronger in my quit. You will no longer bully me. Go fuck yourself.
For all you new quitters the recipe for success is so simple. Wake up, Post roll (promise not to use any form of nicotine for that day), go to bed, wake up, repeat. The one biggest thing that helped me to make it this far was each day I posted roll, I was only agreeing to quit for 24 hours. I wasn't quitting forever , just for one day. Forever was too big of a concept for my addict brain, however anybody can make it 24 hours. Thats how I did it. 24 hours at a time.
Finally, My November Stuffers, you guys are just fucking awesome. The first 2-4 days were pure hell. I wanted to tap dance on the intestines of anybody I had contact with. I wanted to Napalm entire civilizations, but I knew you guys were hurting just as bad. The funny shit that was said/written took the edge off. Thank you all vets from different groups for the support and humor. Thank you KTC for saving my life. My four children and wife will grow old with a recovering nicotine addict in the house and not in the grave. and Finally FUCK YOU NICOTINE.
Respectfully,
George Tiller
