All alone in a hotel room, lip packed. Rank Dr. Pepper bottle on the night stand full of poison. My gums hurt, the sores in my mouth hurt, and the Prilosec I had been on for chronic acid reflux didnÂ’t even begin to provide any relief. I propped myself up with a few pillows and fired up my laptop; I needed to do something. IÂ’d tried to quit before and I stoppedÂ…until all the aforementioned ailments started to feel better. Then I was back to normal -a can a day Cope addict.
I recollected back to an herbal snuff I’d picked up at the local Wal-Mart during a stopping episode years before. I hit the search button on Google. Result number one: herbal snuff reviews on Kill the Can. One link lead to another and 15 minutes later I was bawling my eyes out 3 paragraphs into Tom and Jenny Kern’s story. I have kids, not nearly enough life insurance, and a wife who would never tell me to quit. I knew right then, I was done. It was 11:00 pm; I called my wife as I through some clothes on. I made a midnight drive to the local Wal-Mart and grabbed two cans of Smokey Mountain Classic. The next day I posted ‘day 1’ at KTC and 102 days later, here I am writing an HOF speech.
I didnÂ’t remember Smokey Mountain tasting so much like ass, but I packed my pie hole full of that shit for the first 48 hours and I stayed quit. I got numbers of fellow quitters and I had my closest quit brother cave without ever calling me. I had car break downs, midnight trips to the hospital with my kids, and just about every other situation I considered to be extremely stressful. Each of those occurrences was a challenge; a chance to cave or a chance to reinforce my quit. For 102 days I have chosen to reinforce my quit.
I no longer lay awake, propped up with sixteen pillows fighting a wave of acid reflux every night. My blood pressure is back to normal. I am slowly making my way back down to a healthy weight. I have fought so hard the last 12 years to be me, all the while poisoning myself slowly. Now I am taking my life back, one day at a time with the accountability, brotherhood, and support of KTC. So, from me, my wife, and my kids – Thank you KTC! I’ll see you at roll tomorrow.
