I'm an addict and a caver. I need your help.

[rubbersidedown]

If you fail at conquering your addiction, this is not very unusual or even interesting. Failure is actually a component of recovery, although this forum avoids that concept, which I do respect.

Look, I can tell you are very intelligent. After all, it appears you design web pages and stuff. Very cool! But over thinking addiction really puts you at a disadvantage. I follow a few simple rules:

1) I never hang out with anyone that uses. Period. I walk away.
2) I do not enter convenience stores. Pay at the pump.
3) I do not go within 50 feet of the tobacco counter at the grocery store.

Stimulation is 90% of addiction. If you avoid the trigger, you avoid the neural pathway to using. Stay quit.

Thanks for listening, Scott

[dchogs]

First of all, I want to make sure everyone's aware that this isn't a "new" cave of Sloop. I think the idea behind this post was to become more invested in his quit... to be more of a contributor to KTC that just a guy who posts roll everyday. I like that, and it's exactly what he needs to do.

That being said, Sloop, I still get the sense that you're keeping folks at arms length... even with that post. It can be hard to find the right words to capture the emotions of what you're going through, so maybe as you add to this thread, it'll get better. But right now, folks don't know you any better than they would if they read your actual "cave" post in October 11 or March 12.

Get involved in this place and drink the kool-aid deeply and fully. Looking at your posts is one way of checking things out... you have 300 posts in roughly 150 days. 2 per day. get that up. post support with other groups. once april 12 comes around, adopt a noob. Post in this thread as often as you can and be real with your struggles. Get into chat... it's good to meet the folks here, and you might get to talk someone into the light.

All in all, I'm glad you're back in the fold of the quit. Get involved, use the tools, make a difference here. One man quitting alone in a room full of people will at best be one man quit in 100 days. There's no reason to be an island here.

Good to be quit with you, Sloop. Let's make this one stick.

[smokewagon47]

@ Souliman, Thanks for the response and encouragment. Your right about the one day at a time thing...it really helps me get through. Thats the diffrence with this quit, I tell myself I rather die then give into my craving. Not Today, no matter what!

[Souliman]

Hey Dan,

Im a noob and joined your quit group today. Takes a lot to come back here after you fucked up and chewed again. I give you credit for that one. In another sense, I think SHIT if you can cave after 100 days, how the hell am I going to make it that long. So yes share your story and explain how you caved so I wont make the same dumb ass mistake that you did. This is all bullshit anyway, with all of the "I think I will quit this time" half ass attempts I have learned one thing. If I really really do not want to chew again, then I will not. If I'm a bitch and make an excuse then I will and only have myself to blame.

No more bitch ass excuses, lets just do it!!! Fuck that can right in the ass!!!!!!

SWagon you're stronger than him. He tapped out. Its not that "if he could", its that you have not. Take it one day at a time. When things get difficult, you reach out. That's the key. Being able to make the decision when shit hits the fan "do I want to live or die". If you need help choosing life, you reach out. Otherwise, why the fuck even show up here in the first place.

Choose life. Use the tools. Reach out. That goes for you SJS. Use the fucking tools.

[smokewagon47]

Hey Dan,

Im a noob and joined your quit group today. Takes a lot to come back here after you fucked up and chewed again. I give you credit for that one. In another sense, I think SHIT if you can cave after 100 days, how the hell am I going to make it that long. So yes share your story and explain how you caved so I wont make the same dumb ass mistake that you did. This is all bullshit anyway, with all of the "I think I will quit this time" half ass attempts I have learned one thing. If I really really do not want to chew again, then I will not. If I'm a bitch and make an excuse then I will and only have myself to blame.

No more bitch ass excuses, lets just do it!!! Fuck that can right in the ass!!!!!!

[AtomicDiesel]

Well coastie, you ain't the only one to get past a hunnert days then flush this place and go back to putting shit in yer mouf.
Get invloved in this site and argue with a few people so you get hooked on it, and do whatever it takes to get in here every day. The chat room, with all of its meatgazing grabassery, is keeping me around for good this time.

[Scowick65]

Posts - 287.

If you want to quit, help as many as you can quit. What you give, you get...and more. As 30 says, quitters find a way to quit, cavers find a way to cave.

[Bean]

Glad to see you're back, but WTF?!! How did you go 100+ days and then cave? You need to think about what words like "commitment" and "promise" mean. You can do this...you just need to make a COMMITMENT to yourself and your brothers and sisters on this site.

[Greg5280]

Sounds to me like you need to spend some time deciding which man you want to be. When you post your promise here it means something

How do you want to be remembered? As the lying, deceitful nicotine junkie, or the honorable, trustworthy clean nicotine addict fighting to keep himself and his brothers free from this terrible drug.

I know which one I choose....

Time to decide.

Greg

[30yraddict]

Dan,

I could write some stuff about being all in this together, and indeed we are. But in reading between the lines I wonder if you are searching for someone to tell you something that will make you want to stay quit....to tell you something that will make you close the door.

Here are my reasons in no particular order:

1. I do not want to die of cancer- My grandmother died of cancer when I was 9. (non tobacco related) She lived next door and I watched the whole progression of the terrible disease. It left a lasting impression.

2. I do not want to support and industry that is responsible for the death of my grandfather, mother and brother.

3. I don't want to hide an addiction from my family and friends. I don't want to spend all of my time with them thinking about sneaking off and feeding my addiction.

4. I want to keep my teeth

5. I do not want to inflict hardship on my wife, the hardship of having to take care of me followed by the hardship of being a single parent.

6. I do not want my kids to feel the pain of witnessing their father die a death of self infliction

7. I want my kids to excel. Setting a poor example provides an obstacle to them. Addiction has no place in excellence.

8. I do not want to loose my limbs to circulatory problems caused by nicotine

9. When I speak to my kids about the dangers of addiction, I do not want any hypocrisy to be found in me.

10. I do not want to help pay to market tobacco to children.

11. I do not want to contribute to the slaughter and suffering of millions of people.


Will my reasons work for you? I doubt it. Finding your reason(s) to be quit is your journey to go on. The way I see it, that is the most important thing you need to do for your quit right now.

[Souliman]

I'd like to hear some committal to actually saving your own life. This dribble is bullshit. Where is the sense of urgency to be free? Where is the piss and vinegar to brake the chains?

Will you use the tools of this site? Will you realize that in your hour of need the folks here are HERE for you? There's no sense of shame or humiliation in asking for help. Everyone needs a hand. I need a hand. Just a week ago Whsii had my back. Is there shame in that? FUCK NO. That's the strength of this place. It flows through one person to the next. So the next time you consider putting cancer candy in your mouth and your spine has that slight tingle of pussification, fucking REACH OUT.

[Larry Drummer]

Dan, you sound like your serious, but what is really different this time around? Where did you go wrong really? You felt to 'cocky' to ask for help? Get numbers this time around and use them. I'm struggling with the part that you broke promises. Does your word have any value? Why should i or anybody else trust you? Let the two groups your primarily affecting learn something from your mistakes.

[stjohnsloop]

Hi,

My name is Dan and I'm addicted to nicotine.

I joined this site on July 10, 2011 with the October 2011 Inglorious Bastards of Quit. I posted roll there first thing, everyday, for well over 100 days before I caved and broke my promise to my brothers.

I was always cocky about my quit. I never got personally involved with the group or admitted that I needed help. I quit for the wrong reasons and I quit the wrong way.

I'm learning everything I can from those mistakes. I'm letting my brothers in, staying connected and learning everything I can from them too.

As of today, I've been quit for a week with the March 2012 Maniacs. A week by itself isn't much but I can tell you those 7 days mean more to me today than any of the 100+ did last time.

I know the time will come again when the suck is gone. This time I won't forget that I'm an addict because my commitment to my brothers will remind me.

You, reading this right now, I ask you to take a moment to reply to this thread. Do it for me and do it for yourself whether it's day 1, day 100 or day 1000. Reaffirm right now that we're all in this together.

I alone an responsible for my quit but I can't do it alone. I need YOUR help.

Thank you for being quit with me today.

PM anytime if you want to trade numbers.