Bscar's Intro

[Kdip]

Day 19


Stepped outside of myself today and gained some wisdom about...well, me.  Even in the midst of craves and the 'struggle' of quitting, I've felt somehow more at ease with myself than usual....determined..a sense of calm strength.  Thinking of how I thought and functioned under nicotine I figured myself out.

While chewing, I always wanted to stop, at least for the last couple years, but just wouldn't get over the hump.  I was subconsciously unsatisfied with myself...I repeatedly disappointed myself each time I dipped.  My motivation for all tasks was lacking because I was repeatedly suffering disappointment and the worst kind of all...disappointment in yourself.  I was not consistently positive, but instead, consistently passive and thoughts of change whirled thru my brain each day...personal improvements, improvements at work, with projects, etc., but it never made it past that...simply thoughts.  My disappointing addiction that I was feeding was like kicking myself in the nuts each and every day.  I would try to get up and I would bitch slap myself back to the ground and in return, I always felt like I was on the ground.  In addition to lacking motivation, I had anger.  It was really anger toward myself, but I would project it toward others...kinda like I was angry at the world, but in reality it was the anger of me having the knowledge of what I need to do, but just not doing it.

I find myself being more positive now...I'm motivated...the anger is now a clear picture. 

How many people go thru life angry, disappointed and unmotivated without looking in the mirror for the solution?  Maybe this is common knowledge to some, but to me it was a revelation.

It's a great feeling seeing the truth of it all. Life is so much better being free of the shackles of nicotine.

Enjoy it.

P.S. It gets so much better. You have no idea. Trust me.

Your right bscar...I have noticed many changes in my personality since i've been quit. My wife tells me that I handle things differently. I'm sure I don't get as angry as I used to. I believe that the same tools that help me deal with quitting help me deal with life as well. Keep up the quit!

'Popcorn'

Ditto here. I had a real anger problem as well when I dipped. My problem was compounded more since I ninja dipped around my family. When I was craving and couldn't have a dip when the family was around the littlest things would set me off. I would rant and rave for no good reason as I was constantly obscessed with needing a chew. I was also deep down ashamed of my habit as well and had been wanting to quit for sometime but not enough to really "act" on it. After many years of this continued behavior it finally drove my wife away.

I no longer obscess about dip nowdays, I don't have nearly the amount of mood swings I used to have and if I do get angy about something now it is for a good reason. My wife and daugther both say I have been a different person since I came clean and quit stuffing that crap in my mouth. While there have been ups and downs, my outlook on work and life in general has definately improved. I wrote basically the same thing in my HOF speech I feel the same way over 200 days later.

[PbKid]

Day 19


Stepped outside of myself today and gained some wisdom about...well, me.  Even in the midst of craves and the 'struggle' of quitting, I've felt somehow more at ease with myself than usual....determined..a sense of calm strength.  Thinking of how I thought and functioned under nicotine I figured myself out.

While chewing, I always wanted to stop, at least for the last couple years, but just wouldn't get over the hump.  I was subconsciously unsatisfied with myself...I repeatedly disappointed myself each time I dipped.  My motivation for all tasks was lacking because I was repeatedly suffering disappointment and the worst kind of all...disappointment in yourself.  I was not consistently positive, but instead, consistently passive and thoughts of change whirled thru my brain each day...personal improvements, improvements at work, with projects, etc., but it never made it past that...simply thoughts.  My disappointing addiction that I was feeding was like kicking myself in the nuts each and every day.  I would try to get up and I would bitch slap myself back to the ground and in return, I always felt like I was on the ground.  In addition to lacking motivation, I had anger.  It was really anger toward myself, but I would project it toward others...kinda like I was angry at the world, but in reality it was the anger of me having the knowledge of what I need to do, but just not doing it.

I find myself being more positive now...I'm motivated...the anger is now a clear picture. 

How many people go thru life angry, disappointed and unmotivated without looking in the mirror for the solution?  Maybe this is common knowledge to some, but to me it was a revelation.

It's a great feeling seeing the truth of it all. Life is so much better being free of the shackles of nicotine.

Enjoy it.

P.S. It gets so much better. You have no idea. Trust me.

Your right bscar...I have noticed many changes in my personality since i've been quit. My wife tells me that I handle things differently. I'm sure I don't get as angry as I used to. I believe that the same tools that help me deal with quitting help me deal with life as well. Keep up the quit!

'Popcorn'

[Toddy]

Day 19


Stepped outside of myself today and gained some wisdom about...well, me.  Even in the midst of craves and the 'struggle' of quitting, I've felt somehow more at ease with myself than usual....determined..a sense of calm strength.  Thinking of how I thought and functioned under nicotine I figured myself out.

While chewing, I always wanted to stop, at least for the last couple years, but just wouldn't get over the hump.  I was subconsciously unsatisfied with myself...I repeatedly disappointed myself each time I dipped.  My motivation for all tasks was lacking because I was repeatedly suffering disappointment and the worst kind of all...disappointment in yourself.  I was not consistently positive, but instead, consistently passive and thoughts of change whirled thru my brain each day...personal improvements, improvements at work, with projects, etc., but it never made it past that...simply thoughts.  My disappointing addiction that I was feeding was like kicking myself in the nuts each and every day.  I would try to get up and I would bitch slap myself back to the ground and in return, I always felt like I was on the ground.  In addition to lacking motivation, I had anger.  It was really anger toward myself, but I would project it toward others...kinda like I was angry at the world, but in reality it was the anger of me having the knowledge of what I need to do, but just not doing it.

I find myself being more positive now...I'm motivated...the anger is now a clear picture. 

How many people go thru life angry, disappointed and unmotivated without looking in the mirror for the solution?  Maybe this is common knowledge to some, but to me it was a revelation.

It's a great feeling seeing the truth of it all. Life is so much better being free of the shackles of nicotine.

Enjoy it.

P.S. It gets so much better. You have no idea. Trust me.

Your right bscar...I have noticed many changes in my personality since i've been quit. My wife tells me that I handle things differently. I'm sure I don't get as angry as I used to. I believe that the same tools that help me deal with quitting help me deal with life as well. Keep up the quit!

[Ready]

Day 19


Stepped outside of myself today and gained some wisdom about...well, me. Even in the midst of craves and the 'struggle' of quitting, I've felt somehow more at ease with myself than usual....determined..a sense of calm strength. Thinking of how I thought and functioned under nicotine I figured myself out.

While chewing, I always wanted to stop, at least for the last couple years, but just wouldn't get over the hump. I was subconsciously unsatisfied with myself...I repeatedly disappointed myself each time I dipped. My motivation for all tasks was lacking because I was repeatedly suffering disappointment and the worst kind of all...disappointment in yourself. I was not consistently positive, but instead, consistently passive and thoughts of change whirled thru my brain each day...personal improvements, improvements at work, with projects, etc., but it never made it past that...simply thoughts. My disappointing addiction that I was feeding was like kicking myself in the nuts each and every day. I would try to get up and I would bitch slap myself back to the ground and in return, I always felt like I was on the ground. In addition to lacking motivation, I had anger. It was really anger toward myself, but I would project it toward others...kinda like I was angry at the world, but in reality it was the anger of me having the knowledge of what I need to do, but just not doing it.

I find myself being more positive now...I'm motivated...the anger is now a clear picture.

How many people go thru life angry, disappointed and unmotivated without looking in the mirror for the solution? Maybe this is common knowledge to some, but to me it was a revelation.

It's a great feeling seeing the truth of it all. Life is so much better being free of the shackles of nicotine.

Enjoy it.

P.S. It gets so much better. You have no idea. Trust me.

[bscar]

Day 19


Stepped outside of myself today and gained some wisdom about...well, me. Even in the midst of craves and the 'struggle' of quitting, I've felt somehow more at ease with myself than usual....determined..a sense of calm strength. Thinking of how I thought and functioned under nicotine I figured myself out.

While chewing, I always wanted to stop, at least for the last couple years, but just wouldn't get over the hump. I was subconsciously unsatisfied with myself...I repeatedly disappointed myself each time I dipped. My motivation for all tasks was lacking because I was repeatedly suffering disappointment and the worst kind of all...disappointment in yourself. I was not consistently positive, but instead, consistently passive and thoughts of change whirled thru my brain each day...personal improvements, improvements at work, with projects, etc., but it never made it past that...simply thoughts. My disappointing addiction that I was feeding was like kicking myself in the nuts each and every day. I would try to get up and I would bitch slap myself back to the ground and in return, I always felt like I was on the ground. In addition to lacking motivation, I had anger. It was really anger toward myself, but I would project it toward others...kinda like I was angry at the world, but in reality it was the anger of me having the knowledge of what I need to do, but just not doing it.

I find myself being more positive now...I'm motivated...the anger is now a clear picture.

How many people go thru life angry, disappointed and unmotivated without looking in the mirror for the solution? Maybe this is common knowledge to some, but to me it was a revelation.

[bscar]

Thanks to all for the messages here and the unsolicited ones I also got in my mailbox---an unbelievable welcome.

Day 1 today - will be outside planting shrubs/trees all day at my house with my son - hoping a good day of physical labor will keep me going without choking a random neighbor -

Thanks to all! - See ya in Sept!

[bearattack]

Talked the talk now walk the walk

[GlennFtheKodiak]

From the reading I've done on here, I'm sure you could cut and paste most intro's into mine and have it read the same, but let's do this anway...

I turn 35 in 4 days
18 years of chewing 2 tins/day - Kodiak, Cope, Skoal---if it has nicotine, I'll slap it in.
2008 was a big year as I got divorced after the wife started playing around at home as a stay-at-home mom and played with guys on the Net, telephone, etc. Packed on 30 lbs and hit the low point of my life. Never thought I would climb out, but not only did I pull myself up, but I'm stronger and happier than ever, except...

still chewing. I own a couple businesses, run a youth diversion group for teens in trouble and have always been the person people turn to for help or advice...with a wad of chew in my mouth and an addiction that I could never shake. People call me sucessful...I call myself a hypocrite. I preach sobriety and doing the right thing to the teens and take the high road everywhere in my life while I chew on life sucking poison every minute I'm awake. Looking at my 4 yr old son in the eye or myself in the mirror while combing my hair has been disturbing to say the least.

Searching for answers....3-4 day quits here and there...35th bday is here...then I find this site. I have played on the Internet alot with this topic and have never found this site. I was just searching the site, never posted once and a moderator sent me a message asking me if I need a push?? Unbelievable!! Where the hell else can you go and get support like that? Nobody else really understands...This site is not THE answer because I know the only answer lies within, but this community is unreal.

I'm done living the dual life of preaching the gospel while practicing denial over my addiction. Talk is cheap, so check me out in the Sept 2009 group tomorrow morning for day 1. This bullshit game is over! Thanks for taking me in and thanks in advance for the support and encouragement.

chicks suck.

love your intro.

you're better than dip.

[jaydisco]

Nobody else really understands...This site is not THE answer because I know the only answer lies within, but this community is unreal.

I am only 27days into my quit, and I found this site going into day 2. I would not have made it through the first 3 days if it wasn't for the support and understanding that I found here. Oh...and the diversion? With over 3 years of posts to sort through you'll find something to distract you.

Make sure you look over the what to expect/ symptoms pages. http://killthecan.org/yourquit/

The first handful of days can be overwhelming - get the nicotine out of your system, and it gets progressively easier. I lost a lot of sleep the first week, but have never felt better than I feel now that I am rid of the stuff.

Let me know if you need anything, and I will look for you in the September roll tomorrow.

Justin

[Ready]

Good talking with you. Sounds like you want this. That is the key. That and keeping your word. See you in roll tomorrow.

You can do this.

[PbKid]

From the reading I've done on here, I'm sure you could cut and paste most intro's into mine and have it read the same, but let's do this anway...

I turn 35 in 4 days
18 years of chewing 2 tins/day - Kodiak, Cope, Skoal---if it has nicotine, I'll slap it in.
2008 was a big year as I got divorced after the wife started playing around at home as a stay-at-home mom and played with guys on the Net, telephone, etc. Packed on 30 lbs and hit the low point of my life. Never thought I would climb out, but not only did I pull myself up, but I'm stronger and happier than ever, except...

still chewing. I own a couple businesses, run a youth diversion group for teens in trouble and have always been the person people turn to for help or advice...with a wad of chew in my mouth and an addiction that I could never shake. People call me sucessful...I call myself a hypocrite. I preach sobriety and doing the right thing to the teens and take the high road everywhere in my life while I chew on life sucking poison every minute I'm awake. Looking at my 4 yr old son in the eye or myself in the mirror while combing my hair has been disturbing to say the least.

Searching for answers....3-4 day quits here and there...35th bday is here...then I find this site. I have played on the Internet alot with this topic and have never found this site. I was just searching the site, never posted once and a moderator sent me a message asking me if I need a push?? Unbelievable!! Where the hell else can you go and get support like that? Nobody else really understands...This site is not THE answer because I know the only answer lies within, but this community is unreal.

I'm done living the dual life of preaching the gospel while practicing denial over my addiction. Talk is cheap, so check me out in the Sept 2009 group tomorrow morning for day 1. This bullshit game is over! Thanks for taking me in and thanks in advance for the support and encouragement.

Sounds to me like you got yer shit together. Welcome. Let me know if I can help.

[bscar]

From the reading I've done on here, I'm sure you could cut and paste most intro's into mine and have it read the same, but let's do this anway...

I turn 35 in 4 days
18 years of chewing 2 tins/day - Kodiak, Cope, Skoal---if it has nicotine, I'll slap it in.
2008 was a big year as I got divorced after the wife started playing around at home as a stay-at-home mom and played with guys on the Net, telephone, etc. Packed on 30 lbs and hit the low point of my life. Never thought I would climb out, but not only did I pull myself up, but I'm stronger and happier than ever, except...

still chewing. I own a couple businesses, run a youth diversion group for teens in trouble and have always been the person people turn to for help or advice...with a wad of chew in my mouth and an addiction that I could never shake. People call me sucessful...I call myself a hypocrite. I preach sobriety and doing the right thing to the teens and take the high road everywhere in my life while I chew on life sucking poison every minute I'm awake. Looking at my 4 yr old son in the eye or myself in the mirror while combing my hair has been disturbing to say the least.

Searching for answers....3-4 day quits here and there...35th bday is here...then I find this site. I have played on the Internet alot with this topic and have never found this site. I was just searching the site, never posted once and a moderator sent me a message asking me if I need a push?? Unbelievable!! Where the hell else can you go and get support like that? Nobody else really understands...This site is not THE answer because I know the only answer lies within, but this community is unreal.

I'm done living the dual life of preaching the gospel while practicing denial over my addiction. Talk is cheap, so check me out in the Sept 2009 group tomorrow morning for day 1. This bullshit game is over! Thanks for taking me in and thanks in advance for the support and encouragement.