OK, so here's my story. I began dipping when I was in Middle School (yep, I'm from the South) and I did it because everyone else I knew did it. Being that I was already REALLY skinny and stuttered, I didn't want yet another reason to not fit in, so my friend introduced me to Hawkin (...yeah...let that sink in for a second). When I was ready to "graduate" to something with more of a "bite", I met a wonderful friend-turned-adversary...the KODIAK bear. Man, I loved the feeling I got from it and continued this "friendship" for 15+ years; through High School, College, Army, Seminary (yep, even thought I signed a pledge not to use tobacco products, the Bear had bitten me in a bad way, marriage, and new career. I gave myself all the excuses that we all do when we want to quit: once I get married; once we have children; once she starts crawling; walking; talking; etc. I've kicked the can down the road so many times that I've lost count. Mind you, I've kept this a secret from everyone in my family (parents, sister, spouse, in-laws, daughter). I feel like such a piece of shit for keeping this thing a secret for so many years and having to go to extreme efforts to hide my tracks (hide the can in the car; throw the spit bottle out before you get home; chew a few breath mints before you walk in; wondering where I put the can; did she find it; does she know and is just not saying anything; wash my hands as soon as I can get to the sink to wash the brown off my finger-tips; trying to find something new to spit in before I leave for work). I was/am pathetic and a sorry excuse for a man/husband/son/Dad/Christian. As far as what prompted this new "I'm quitting" surge, I realized that I am the only one who still dips since my Middle School days. My friends say, "Yeah, I did it in High School and College but dude, that was years ago. I had to grow out of that...that crap will kill you". I want to be tobacco free for good because honestly I just don't want to do this anymore. I wonder what it will be like to not live with this Bear on my back that consumes most of my day. I wonder what it will be like to not have a raw mouth after an especially rough day. I wonder what it will be like to not scramble for loose change to get a can on my way home. I wonder what it will be like to walk into work and not have coffee-Kodiak-old toothpaste breath. I am looking forward to taking this journey and joining everyone in the Hall of Fame.
-Thanks!