I was a chewer for 18 years. For the last decade or so, I was ordering the Swedish snus because it was "safer". I'd tell myself that it was a safer known carcinogen...
If I chewed the pouches, I'd go through a can every two days; the loose would last me 3 days.
Sure, I've had a few quit attempts. One lasted 6 months. I was helping a friend (who also dipped) move. I thought I could handle just one more, which I couldn't.
I tried many times to quit using nicotine lozenges. One of two things would happen with the lozenges. Either I'd end up consuming more nicotine using them or I'd use them as supplemental nicotine.
I tried the patches, but found they itched terribly and messed with my head.
So, I pulled it together and decided to go for a full on quit.
The first three days were terrible. Colleagues were constantly asking me if I was feeling all right. I'd wake at night and have to change my shirt because of the sweats.
It continues to get easier with every day, but the nic demons are still there trying to convince me that I can just have one more. I find that keeping a supply of gum on hand has really helped me work through the cravings.
I just keep remembering how awful the first week was. I don't want to repeat it. I also think of my upcoming milestones. 2 weeks is 50 days. July 5 is 100 days.
I'm tired of being a slave to the nicotine. I'm tired of planning my days around the habit. I'm tired of planning trips around my habit. I'm tired of worrying about mouth cancer.
I'm ready to be honest about my addiction. I'm ready to be accountable. I'm ready to not cop-out that it's only "one chew"...
