Okay – albeit verbosely…I committed to my March group that I’d allow an insight to my future 100 HOF. As Irish as I am (and you can’t get more Irish unless born in the country, I’m the son of Irish immigrants), this actually only means I’m completely affected by a hot temper and ‘luck,’ right? If you consider the entire history of the small ass island, you instinctually recall that it has been boasted for “good luck;” however, accurately identified it shares lots of “bad” luck once you recall specifically the history so more accurately you’ll recall the overall “good luck,” is: we somehow don’t die from the bad luck despite the luck having created adversity that is only alternatively explained as ‘uncanny’ or ‘ridiculous’ stuff that doesn’t naturally afflict other persons in other parts of the world…
Regardless, I never started by posting an intro which really is the goal here but also speaks to the irony of the story. Closet, Ninja, ‘secret’ or the opposite: 20, 30 years in the open, family knows, the world knows…Everyones type/style is on KTC…I would say I’m closer to devious. I’ll allow the freedom to look it up or find a definition albeit spot on for the type of tobacco use I chose during my college playing days and total of the last ten years. Basically, I spent all of my days in withdrawal; I was consistently craving with only a single chew for about 20-40 minutes a day unless I had a game then it was on like donkey-kong (some say ‘chew-a-palousa’). In college, I would leave the yard, race home throw in a chaw, shower, dress, remove rinse and run back ‘late’ to see my then fiancé twenty minutes late for dinner and lie each and every freakin time. So-and-so stopped me and I chatted to them, had to finish an email, wanted to be here but coach held us…, all of it so I could have my ‘one dip’ for the day. If I had a game, I’d chew seeds until we shook hands, pull out the single pre-stocked gum with wrapper with tobacco on all sides and suck on my Garrett all the way home (thus my own unique ‘chew-a-palousa’ if we were starting back from another state). Nobody knew...nobody said anything ever, in fact all of my teammates constantly pressured me to chew with them and I declined each and every time.
As an adult (outside college), I really stated to be extra devious. I began chewing Skoal and realized I could get away with the smallest pinch (staying serious or lacking emotion obviously) and nobody would question me. Basically, I found unless you bulge even slightly, very few would ever even suspect it. Not at the bank, not in a school, not on a field.
This brings us now to my future HOF day 100 and the irony…I’ve spent a good number of days alone with my children so my wife has the chance she gives me routinely, time off or away. For the weekend including my HOF date: March 23rd (back to the irony or real Irish luck), I’ll be in the middle of taking care of my 5, 3, and 1 year old for a three and a half day stretch…it’ll be crazy but prior to the 14th of December when CMark on chat told me to flush it…I could never have imagined what my life could look like without having the weight of my secret I’ve been carrying around forever. I’ll hit 100, my HOF day, and I’ll be paying back to some respect my wife’s commitment to me, my children’s future with their father and I know I will be a better man on this day…I will hit my HOF in the midst of a single four day weekend filled with stress that I will be entirely dip free for. Not because of I’m predicting the future but because I know the system, “rinse and repeat” I’ll be here daily with you men and ready to tell you that today I quit with you.
The irony therefore: is that this stressful weekend of child care will be spent with a smile not a straight lip and a pinch for the weekend all possible to KTC. Would anyone care to say the luck therefore is changingÂ…no. My day 100 will be the longest time alone with all my kids, most stressful / craziest parenting, available to ninja dip, wife gone, crave filled weekend of my entire route. But, IÂ’ll remain alive, unharmed, ready to fight again somedayÂ…thanks to the men of this site having been tougher than I imagine IÂ’ll be on any given day.
You guys are a tremendous inspiration. When I am finally or typically on the site (mostly only in the evenings…) and telling you that basically I had stayed quit that day and am going to pledge quit tomorrow before it happens; I read your answers, re-read your intros, and can’t stop reading the “contract to give up quit” (
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/contract.asp) or some select HOF speeches. Now the gents having gone through our first 100 are creating those speeches and along with sharing the thrill of potential 100 for myself, the crazy ass weekend IÂ’m going to have going into the 23rd and am really allowed to have because IÂ’ll be dip free; I felt, I guess obligated to share where I started from and where youÂ’ve helped me arrive: 85 daysÂ…IÂ’ll post tomorrow [today] tooÂ…Thank you and I hope this wasnÂ’t a horrible read for those who got through it
