Day 73 - It's been a while since I've posted anything on my intro, so I thought I'd give a quick update. My quit has started to become the new normal for me. I no longer wake up and have my first thought be about dipping or quitting or anything like that. Now, I just wake up like any other normal person who never started the poison cat turd. Most days, the most I think about chewing is when I'm on this website, posting roll and reading through intros.
But things are not all rainbows and butterflies. The craves still come on pretty strong and usually out of no where. I recently found out that I'll be driving about four hours next week for work, staying overnight in a hotel by myself, in order to make an 8:30 a.m. hearing the next morning. I haven't had an overnight without the wifey since my quit began. In the past, I probably would have gone through a pack of smokes (I only smoked when I was out of town away from my family due to my bloodhound wife who could smell smoke on me from a mile away) and an entire can of chew, probably two or three with the long drive. When I found out I was going, the first thought I had was about chewing. The nic bitch started screaming in my ear about how awesome it would be to just sit in my hotel room with a huge fatty in my lip. "No one would know. You could just dip when you're out of town. It could be your special treat to yourself." Or, "You can just smoke a few cigarettes. You know you won't start smoking because your wife will catch you, so what's the harm? As long as you don't dip, you can look your KTC brothers in the eye and continue your march to the HOF."
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT? Those were the thoughts that were blazing through my head after more than two months of quit. I'm pissed. I'm pissed that I still think that way and it is a wake up call that 73 days ain't shit when you're battling this addiction. I'm going to post roll before I hit the road and make it through what will be my biggest trigger/temptation yet. I'll probably pick up some Smokey Mountain even though I haven't needed it since week 2. I know that once I'm through it, it will give me more confidence each time the nic bitch rears her beat-ass face.
Proud to be quit with you all. ODAAT.