Hi all!
I realized I never posted an introduction, so here goes mine.
I quit chewing in May this year however I made the mistake of using gum to "help" me quit. All I did was get addicted to the gum! 64 days ago I gave up all nicotine and its been the hardest thing I have ever faced in my entire life, here is a brief history of my last 64 days.
Week 1 was truly hell. I have panic attacks, doctor visits and basically everything else you can imagine. However I pushed through this stage and by day 14 I was feeling pretty good.
Week 3-4 was easy. I felt great, I was running and life seemed to be improving. The fog was around but honestly it was more annoying than anything else. I was on cruise control and let me tell you I thought quitting was pretty easy. I was wrong.
Week 6, or my worst week ever. First off I have never been a depressed person or for that matter much of an emotional person all together. However when week 6 showed up I got my first taste of depression. It was like the reality that I was never going to chew again had finally settled into my brain. the result was a lonely and awful feeling that I am sure many of you can relate to. Week 6 progressed into week 7 and I did not improve one bit, in fact I had such a harsh panic attack I ended up in the ER. I was so pissed at my self for this because I knew I was ok but I still let my weakness control me. At one point I told my wife I was going to buy a can just so I could feel normal again. I didn't want to dip at all but I felt so screwed up in the head I literally rationalized chewing as a means to fixing my issues. I didn't.
Currently its week 9-10 for me and I feel better. Now I am not 100% by any means but I am doing better. I still wake up feeling pretty blah and at times nights can be pretty rough but I refuse to give in. I remind myself why I quit when I feel so low. I quit for me first and formost. I quit so that one day I can be a father and actually raise my children. I quit for my wife, so she can kiss me without the taste of Cherry chew in my mouth. I quit because for 17 years I let my life be defined by a stupid can of dip.
Its not easy to quit. Hell its the hardest thing I have ever worked on. I am sure glad I did quit today and the day before.
