hitting 72 hours

[KingNothing]

It took me a while to respond to Kingnothing because I wasn't sure what he meant and I thought I did not have the door cracked. The truth is I did not watch this sight for a long time and then decide to quit. I found this sight hours after I did quit. The problem has been is that over the past 25 years I have quit many times and there is always an excuse to go back.

Turns out, he was right and nicotine is always trying to fights its way back in.

I really had to search myself and when I was fighting cravings , I was thinking to myself that maybe" I didn't have a proper goodbye with my old friend grizzly" like it was some kind of secret friend I had. Kingnothing is right "nicotine never did a thing for me", it is "poisonous and worthless" and I know this.

This is why people call nicotine a "bitch". It comes to you whispering and reminding you of good times. But say no to it through a few cravings and then you really see the ugly side. Either you snap out of it and realize the destructive and addictive crap it is or your sweating and can't sleep because it won't leave you alone.

Why do I need one more time with it. I don't! I don't want to touch it again. I am "burning the boats" and not going back! Nicotine is the substance that has stole my health, time with my family, and made me hide and be less than I could be. It will not take any more from me, I am quit and I intend to stay that way!

Nicotine is the great taker. It takes time. Health. Money. Relationships. Honesty. Integrity. Self-Worth. Priorities.

It gives one thing. It gives relief from the side effects of not having it in your blood stream. That's it man. Nothing more.

In time, this will be very clear. KingNothing didn't believe at first. Nor did I. Today we preach it.

Keep doing what you are doing. The truth will set you free.

I can honestly say I was skeptical as hell at first. I was so enslaved that I didn't think it could work. But I keep posting my word every morning, and I find that I can live by that. Every 24 hours. The King and W2W are two very solid quitters giving very solid advice. Keep it up, and you won't regret it. I'm on day 79 of my freedom, and this life is not worth trading.

W2W is right. I didn't believe it at first. The line I spun to you in that post is actually from him. In fact, it's the first quote in my signature box which is not an accident. Just keep pushing ODAAT, I promise you it will be worth it and I promise you will look back on this conversation and understand it much more deeply than you can fathom right now.

[baseballbrett]

It took me a while to respond to Kingnothing because I wasn't sure what he meant and I thought I did not have the door cracked. The truth is I did not watch this sight for a long time and then decide to quit. I found this sight hours after I did quit. The problem has been is that over the past 25 years I have quit many times and there is always an excuse to go back.

Turns out, he was right and nicotine is always trying to fights its way back in.

I really had to search myself and when I was fighting cravings , I was thinking to myself that maybe" I didn't have a proper goodbye with my old friend grizzly" like it was some kind of secret friend I had. Kingnothing is right "nicotine never did a thing for me", it is "poisonous and worthless" and I know this.

This is why people call nicotine a "bitch". It comes to you whispering and reminding you of good times. But say no to it through a few cravings and then you really see the ugly side. Either you snap out of it and realize the destructive and addictive crap it is or your sweating and can't sleep because it won't leave you alone.

Why do I need one more time with it. I don't! I don't want to touch it again. I am "burning the boats" and not going back! Nicotine is the substance that has stole my health, time with my family, and made me hide and be less than I could be. It will not take any more from me, I am quit and I intend to stay that way!

Nicotine is the great taker. It takes time. Health. Money. Relationships. Honesty. Integrity. Self-Worth. Priorities.

It gives one thing. It gives relief from the side effects of not having it in your blood stream. That's it man. Nothing more.

In time, this will be very clear. KingNothing didn't believe at first. Nor did I. Today we preach it.

Keep doing what you are doing. The truth will set you free.

I can honestly say I was skeptical as hell at first. I was so enslaved that I didn't think it could work. But I keep posting my word every morning, and I find that I can live by that. Every 24 hours. The King and W2W are two very solid quitters giving very solid advice. Keep it up, and you won't regret it. I'm on day 79 of my freedom, and this life is not worth trading.

[worktowin]

It took me a while to respond to Kingnothing because I wasn't sure what he meant and I thought I did not have the door cracked. The truth is I did not watch this sight for a long time and then decide to quit. I found this sight hours after I did quit. The problem has been is that over the past 25 years I have quit many times and there is always an excuse to go back.

Turns out, he was right and nicotine is always trying to fights its way back in.

I really had to search myself and when I was fighting cravings , I was thinking to myself that maybe" I didn't have a proper goodbye with my old friend grizzly" like it was some kind of secret friend I had. Kingnothing is right "nicotine never did a thing for me", it is "poisonous and worthless" and I know this.

This is why people call nicotine a "bitch". It comes to you whispering and reminding you of good times. But say no to it through a few cravings and then you really see the ugly side. Either you snap out of it and realize the destructive and addictive crap it is or your sweating and can't sleep because it won't leave you alone.

Why do I need one more time with it. I don't! I don't want to touch it again. I am "burning the boats" and not going back! Nicotine is the substance that has stole my health, time with my family, and made me hide and be less than I could be. It will not take any more from me, I am quit and I intend to stay that way!

Nicotine is the great taker. It takes time. Health. Money. Relationships. Honesty. Integrity. Self-Worth. Priorities.

It gives one thing. It gives relief from the side effects of not having it in your blood stream. That's it man. Nothing more.

In time, this will be very clear. KingNothing didn't believe at first. Nor did I. Today we preach it.

Keep doing what you are doing. The truth will set you free.

[realquitter]

It took me a while to respond to Kingnothing because I wasn't sure what he meant and I thought I did not have the door cracked. The truth is I did not watch this sight for a long time and then decide to quit. I found this sight hours after I did quit. The problem has been is that over the past 25 years I have quit many times and there is always an excuse to go back.

Turns out, he was right and nicotine is always trying to fights its way back in.

I really had to search myself and when I was fighting cravings , I was thinking to myself that maybe" I didn't have a proper goodbye with my old friend grizzly" like it was some kind of secret friend I had. Kingnothing is right "nicotine never did a thing for me", it is "poisonous and worthless" and I know this.

This is why people call nicotine a "bitch". It comes to you whispering and reminding you of good times. But say no to it through a few cravings and then you really see the ugly side. Either you snap out of it and realize the destructive and addictive crap it is or your sweating and can't sleep because it won't leave you alone.

Why do I need one more time with it. I don't! I don't want to touch it again. I am "burning the boats" and not going back! Nicotine is the substance that has stole my health, time with my family, and made me hide and be less than I could be. It will not take any more from me, I am quit and I intend to stay that way!

[KingNothing]

Today was my daughter's tenth birthday. She is the oldest of my four kids. The first time, I ever had any success quitting was right before her first birthday, with another child on the way in October. I lasted several weeks on NRT, and I was so proud. I did it for her and I have heard several people say that doesn't work. It didn't work for me. I couldn't admit that being a dad wasn't enough or maybe I just thought that because I quit for a few days I could do it again.

It is nine years later and I am still in the same place. My father died of cancer when I was young and my daughter knows that was hard for me. I always told her that it didn't mean that I would die when she was young. Then I would sneak off and shove a wad of poison in my face. My daughter knows about smoking and I have told her that it will kill you and that it is a trick and a trap, so don't start. With all my kids, I have been able to keep them shielded from my addiction. I am sure at some point they will look back and they will be able to put certain things together. My hope is that I keep it that way. I am glad I have never had to face her confronting me on going against everything I taught her.

I am a long way from staying quit. All I can promise is one day at a time. I have thought about what it would be like to tell my family I had cancer from dipping. I wanted that to be enough to stop but it hasn't been. I am struggling to figure out what it means to quit for me if it is not for them. I guess there are a lot of reasons to quit. I did quit today for my kids and I spent some good time with all of them. Tomorrow my reason may be different but I will make that pledge!

Way to lay it out there. As males, we are conditioned to have all the answers all the time. It will be tough to swallow, but I challenge you to not worry about your "reasons" for quitting. All of the stuff you mentioned should motivate you, but your "reasons" may evolve and may completely change over time, except for one: you.

I heard a hypothetical very early on in my quit and it stuck with me. If (God forbid) your entire family were to die in a tragic car accident today, would you stay quit? Your post tells me you might not be so sure. Being around for your kids is an excellent motivator to keep going when the going gets tough. It can't be the only reason, because that leaves the door open for you if something truly awful happened to your family.

You have to quit because you no longer want to be a slave to the can. You no longer want to live your life longing for the next dip. Letting good times pass you by because you'd rather sneak off with a dip than foster relationships with people. You have to do this because you are an addict. However, you can be an active addict or a dormant addict. The addict will always be in you, but you can choose whether or not to feed the addict today. When you choose to not feed the addict, you win for YOU. Your family benefits too, but you are the winner.

Thanks for the wisdom. I appreciate it coming from someone who has been there. Quitting for me is confusing because I dipped for me, it was selfish. I closed my eyes and pretended that everybody else didn't matter, that my self indulgence didn't have real and tragic consequences. Being purposeful about my family is something I enjoyed about my quit yesterday, but I get what your saying, I have to be purposeful about myself and hopefully I can get to that place.

I am here and I promise not to use today. I can say that for sure. As far as the hypothetical, I am not strong enough to say that yet. Passed times when I have quit I have caved for any number of reasons (I had a bad day, it is raining, cans are buy one get one free). I can't say for sure what I would do if anyone died. That's honest. Hopefully you realize I could tell you what you wanted to hear, but don't think that I am not committed. Three days ago, the thought of promising for a whole day scared me, I was still hour to hour and at certain points yesterday I was too.

I am sick of it! I hate being dependent and a slave! It is evil stuff and it won't touch me today! I want this time to be different and I am trying to soak up all the advice I can from you guys

You are right, the rest and the reasons--I will figure out as I go

Thanks for quitting with me today and sharing what you learned!

You aren't a slave anymore, you are a quitter. The second you post roll is a victory.

I understand what you're saying, but remember this: Nicotine never did a thing for you. It can't bring back somebody that's died. It can't get your job back if you lose it. It can't stop an unfaithful spouse. It's poisonous and it's worthless.

You don't need to believe me just because I'm telling it to you. Hopefully someday you'll come the realization on your home. I'm taking issue because I see that door open a crack. If you're telling yourself that a situation might come up today that is good enough to cave, you're leaving yourself exposed. There is no situation that will come up in my life today which will be made better by abandoning this brotherhood and caving. That's not fortune-telling. That's because I promised I wouldn't cave today. I won't break that promise.

[Thumblewort]

Today was my daughter's tenth birthday. She is the oldest of my four kids. The first time, I ever had any success quitting was right before her first birthday, with another child on the way in October. I lasted several weeks on NRT, and I was so proud. I did it for her and I have heard several people say that doesn't work. It didn't work for me. I couldn't admit that being a dad wasn't enough or maybe I just thought that because I quit for a few days I could do it again.

It is nine years later and I am still in the same place. My father died of cancer when I was young and my daughter knows that was hard for me. I always told her that it didn't mean that I would die when she was young. Then I would sneak off and shove a wad of poison in my face. My daughter knows about smoking and I have told her that it will kill you and that it is a trick and a trap, so don't start. With all my kids, I have been able to keep them shielded from my addiction. I am sure at some point they will look back and they will be able to put certain things together. My hope is that I keep it that way. I am glad I have never had to face her confronting me on going against everything I taught her.

I am a long way from staying quit. All I can promise is one day at a time. I have thought about what it would be like to tell my family I had cancer from dipping. I wanted that to be enough to stop but it hasn't been. I am struggling to figure out what it means to quit for me if it is not for them. I guess there are a lot of reasons to quit. I did quit today for my kids and I spent some good time with all of them. Tomorrow my reason may be different but I will make that pledge!

Way to lay it out there. As males, we are conditioned to have all the answers all the time. It will be tough to swallow, but I challenge you to not worry about your "reasons" for quitting. All of the stuff you mentioned should motivate you, but your "reasons" may evolve and may completely change over time, except for one: you.

I heard a hypothetical very early on in my quit and it stuck with me. If (God forbid) your entire family were to die in a tragic car accident today, would you stay quit? Your post tells me you might not be so sure. Being around for your kids is an excellent motivator to keep going when the going gets tough. It can't be the only reason, because that leaves the door open for you if something truly awful happened to your family.

You have to quit because you no longer want to be a slave to the can. You no longer want to live your life longing for the next dip. Letting good times pass you by because you'd rather sneak off with a dip than foster relationships with people. You have to do this because you are an addict. However, you can be an active addict or a dormant addict. The addict will always be in you, but you can choose whether or not to feed the addict today. When you choose to not feed the addict, you win for YOU. Your family benefits too, but you are the winner.

Thanks for the wisdom. I appreciate it coming from someone who has been there. Quitting for me is confusing because I dipped for me, it was selfish. I closed my eyes and pretended that everybody else didn't matter, that my self indulgence didn't have real and tragic consequences. Being purposeful about my family is something I enjoyed about my quit yesterday, but I get what your saying, I have to be purposeful about myself and hopefully I can get to that place.

I am here and I promise not to use today. I can say that for sure. As far as the hypothetical, I am not strong enough to say that yet. Passed times when I have quit I have caved for any number of reasons (I had a bad day, it is raining, cans are buy one get one free). I can't say for sure what I would do if anyone died. That's honest. Hopefully you realize I could tell you what you wanted to hear, but don't think that I am not committed. Three days ago, the thought of promising for a whole day scared me, I was still hour to hour and at certain points yesterday I was too.

I am sick of it! I hate being dependent and a slave! It is evil stuff and it won't touch me today! I want this time to be different and I am trying to soak up all the advice I can from you guys

You are right, the rest and the reasons--I will figure out as I go

Thanks for quitting with me today and sharing what you learned!

You aren't a slave anymore, you are a quitter. The second you post roll is a victory.

[realquitter]

Today was my daughter's tenth birthday. She is the oldest of my four kids. The first time, I ever had any success quitting was right before her first birthday, with another child on the way in October. I lasted several weeks on NRT, and I was so proud. I did it for her and I have heard several people say that doesn't work. It didn't work for me. I couldn't admit that being a dad wasn't enough or maybe I just thought that because I quit for a few days I could do it again.

It is nine years later and I am still in the same place. My father died of cancer when I was young and my daughter knows that was hard for me. I always told her that it didn't mean that I would die when she was young. Then I would sneak off and shove a wad of poison in my face. My daughter knows about smoking and I have told her that it will kill you and that it is a trick and a trap, so don't start. With all my kids, I have been able to keep them shielded from my addiction. I am sure at some point they will look back and they will be able to put certain things together. My hope is that I keep it that way. I am glad I have never had to face her confronting me on going against everything I taught her.

I am a long way from staying quit. All I can promise is one day at a time. I have thought about what it would be like to tell my family I had cancer from dipping. I wanted that to be enough to stop but it hasn't been. I am struggling to figure out what it means to quit for me if it is not for them. I guess there are a lot of reasons to quit. I did quit today for my kids and I spent some good time with all of them. Tomorrow my reason may be different but I will make that pledge!

Way to lay it out there. As males, we are conditioned to have all the answers all the time. It will be tough to swallow, but I challenge you to not worry about your "reasons" for quitting. All of the stuff you mentioned should motivate you, but your "reasons" may evolve and may completely change over time, except for one: you.

I heard a hypothetical very early on in my quit and it stuck with me. If (God forbid) your entire family were to die in a tragic car accident today, would you stay quit? Your post tells me you might not be so sure. Being around for your kids is an excellent motivator to keep going when the going gets tough. It can't be the only reason, because that leaves the door open for you if something truly awful happened to your family.

You have to quit because you no longer want to be a slave to the can. You no longer want to live your life longing for the next dip. Letting good times pass you by because you'd rather sneak off with a dip than foster relationships with people. You have to do this because you are an addict. However, you can be an active addict or a dormant addict. The addict will always be in you, but you can choose whether or not to feed the addict today. When you choose to not feed the addict, you win for YOU. Your family benefits too, but you are the winner.

Thanks for the wisdom. I appreciate it coming from someone who has been there. Quitting for me is confusing because I dipped for me, it was selfish. I closed my eyes and pretended that everybody else didn't matter, that my self indulgence didn't have real and tragic consequences. Being purposeful about my family is something I enjoyed about my quit yesterday, but I get what your saying, I have to be purposeful about myself and hopefully I can get to that place.

I am here and I promise not to use today. I can say that for sure. As far as the hypothetical, I am not strong enough to say that yet. Passed times when I have quit I have caved for any number of reasons (I had a bad day, it is raining, cans are buy one get one free). I can't say for sure what I would do if anyone died. That's honest. Hopefully you realize I could tell you what you wanted to hear, but don't think that I am not committed. Three days ago, the thought of promising for a whole day scared me, I was still hour to hour and at certain points yesterday I was too.

I am sick of it! I hate being dependent and a slave! It is evil stuff and it won't touch me today! I want this time to be different and I am trying to soak up all the advice I can from you guys

You are right, the rest and the reasons--I will figure out as I go

Thanks for quitting with me today and sharing what you learned!

[KingNothing]

Today was my daughter's tenth birthday. She is the oldest of my four kids. The first time, I ever had any success quitting was right before her first birthday, with another child on the way in October. I lasted several weeks on NRT, and I was so proud. I did it for her and I have heard several people say that doesn't work. It didn't work for me. I couldn't admit that being a dad wasn't enough or maybe I just thought that because I quit for a few days I could do it again.

It is nine years later and I am still in the same place. My father died of cancer when I was young and my daughter knows that was hard for me. I always told her that it didn't mean that I would die when she was young. Then I would sneak off and shove a wad of poison in my face. My daughter knows about smoking and I have told her that it will kill you and that it is a trick and a trap, so don't start. With all my kids, I have been able to keep them shielded from my addiction. I am sure at some point they will look back and they will be able to put certain things together. My hope is that I keep it that way. I am glad I have never had to face her confronting me on going against everything I taught her.

I am a long way from staying quit. All I can promise is one day at a time. I have thought about what it would be like to tell my family I had cancer from dipping. I wanted that to be enough to stop but it hasn't been. I am struggling to figure out what it means to quit for me if it is not for them. I guess there are a lot of reasons to quit. I did quit today for my kids and I spent some good time with all of them. Tomorrow my reason may be different but I will make that pledge!

Way to lay it out there. As males, we are conditioned to have all the answers all the time. It will be tough to swallow, but I challenge you to not worry about your "reasons" for quitting. All of the stuff you mentioned should motivate you, but your "reasons" may evolve and may completely change over time, except for one: you.

I heard a hypothetical very early on in my quit and it stuck with me. If (God forbid) your entire family were to die in a tragic car accident today, would you stay quit? Your post tells me you might not be so sure. Being around for your kids is an excellent motivator to keep going when the going gets tough. It can't be the only reason, because that leaves the door open for you if something truly awful happened to your family.

You have to quit because you no longer want to be a slave to the can. You no longer want to live your life longing for the next dip. Letting good times pass you by because you'd rather sneak off with a dip than foster relationships with people. You have to do this because you are an addict. However, you can be an active addict or a dormant addict. The addict will always be in you, but you can choose whether or not to feed the addict today. When you choose to not feed the addict, you win for YOU. Your family benefits too, but you are the winner.

[Josh87]

Keep making that daily promise. We're all in this same boat together. I will quit with you tomorrow and every day!

[realquitter]

Today was my daughter's tenth birthday. She is the oldest of my four kids. The first time, I ever had any success quitting was right before her first birthday, with another child on the way in October. I lasted several weeks on NRT, and I was so proud. I did it for her and I have heard several people say that doesn't work. It didn't work for me. I couldn't admit that being a dad wasn't enough or maybe I just thought that because I quit for a few days I could do it again.

It is nine years later and I am still in the same place. My father died of cancer when I was young and my daughter knows that was hard for me. I always told her that it didn't mean that I would die when she was young. Then I would sneak off and shove a wad of poison in my face. My daughter knows about smoking and I have told her that it will kill you and that it is a trick and a trap, so don't start. With all my kids, I have been able to keep them shielded from my addiction. I am sure at some point they will look back and they will be able to put certain things together. My hope is that I keep it that way. I am glad I have never had to face her confronting me on going against everything I taught her.

I am a long way from staying quit. All I can promise is one day at a time. I have thought about what it would be like to tell my family I had cancer from dipping. I wanted that to be enough to stop but it hasn't been. I am struggling to figure out what it means to quit for me if it is not for them. I guess there are a lot of reasons to quit. I did quit today for my kids and I spent some good time with all of them. Tomorrow my reason may be different but I will make that pledge!

[Nomore1959]

Sounds like you at least know the battle you have in front of you. I passed the 3 year mark a few weeks back and I still think about dip almost every day, and still have dip dreams....but I post roll everyday, And because I do that, I also think about quitting everyday. When I was at your stage of quitting, posting roll was a nuisance, then it became a lifeline, now it is part of my everyday routine. I do it because it gives me the extra little accountability I was missing every other time I thought I was quit.
Last word of advice. Be as open and honest with as many people as you can about your quit....it helps with accountability and being honest was a huge relief for me. Dipping is something to hide, quitting is something to share. Good luck.

Dagranger is a genius, and a great mentor.

You are not living the new normal. This bs will get better. My Bp was very high when I quit so was my cholesterol. And my blood sugar. Nicotine can fuck off dude... They are all fine now. That chopped up plant in a can does nothing but take. Freedom. Money. Health. Integrity. Time. Now... You are the one taking. You are taking your life back.

Savor this bs you are experiencing. Soon you'll look back and reflect on the insanity this little can caused, and you allowed. One day at a time - you'll really like the new you.

Another with high BP, cholesterol, etc before I quit. A bit over a year later that is all normal, and I feel great. Get to know your quit brothers, be active, enjoy your victories over nicotine -- they are as hard fought as any athletic event.

[worktowin]

Sounds like you at least know the battle you have in front of you. I passed the 3 year mark a few weeks back and I still think about dip almost every day, and still have dip dreams....but I post roll everyday, And because I do that, I also think about quitting everyday. When I was at your stage of quitting, posting roll was a nuisance, then it became a lifeline, now it is part of my everyday routine. I do it because it gives me the extra little accountability I was missing every other time I thought I was quit.
Last word of advice. Be as open and honest with as many people as you can about your quit....it helps with accountability and being honest was a huge relief for me. Dipping is something to hide, quitting is something to share. Good luck.

Dagranger is a genius, and a great mentor.

You are not living the new normal. This bs will get better. My Bp was very high when I quit so was my cholesterol. And my blood sugar. Nicotine can fuck off dude... They are all fine now. That chopped up plant in a can does nothing but take. Freedom. Money. Health. Integrity. Time. Now... You are the one taking. You are taking your life back.

Savor this bs you are experiencing. Soon you'll look back and reflect on the insanity this little can caused, and you allowed. One day at a time - you'll really like the new you.

[Dagranger]

Sounds like you at least know the battle you have in front of you. I passed the 3 year mark a few weeks back and I still think about dip almost every day, and still have dip dreams....but I post roll everyday, And because I do that, I also think about quitting everyday. When I was at your stage of quitting, posting roll was a nuisance, then it became a lifeline, now it is part of my everyday routine. I do it because it gives me the extra little accountability I was missing every other time I thought I was quit.
Last word of advice. Be as open and honest with as many people as you can about your quit....it helps with accountability and being honest was a huge relief for me. Dipping is something to hide, quitting is something to share. Good luck.

[jswiss11]

Biggest thing I have learned from quitting is to get in my mind that one more dip, chew, fix, whatever you call it will not make you feel better. You feel worse because of the shame and weakness and an hour later(or less) you have the same problem. You are going to have cravings whether you dip or not. Tackle them one at a time with the choice not to chew and over time I have faith it will get easier. Here is good logic. Dipping leads to more craving, addiction and a horrible early death. Not dipping will lead to freedom and health, so when you crave---- do not dip and you will get there!

Like what i'm hearing here. You've got the right mentality - now be prepared to fight this bitch. You do NOT want to end up back at another Day 1 - going through this all again. I hear you about the blood pressure thing. and the lying. all too many of us have the exact same scenario. This site is a great tool - weird how the commitment to internet "strangers" works, but it does.

I just hit 115 days bro. there are still pockets of bad days. My brain still romanticizes chewing. I still crave and think about my life before quitting. But I also think about how I just went through a 3 day weekend on the motherfuckin birthday of MERICA - with my wife and friends and bbq and booze - and even had people around me dipping - and I didn't have a second thought about staying quit.

the Freedom will come and it will be worth the struggle. Keep fighting it man. Quit with you today.

[realquitter]

Thank you guys!

It is encouraging, every time somebody reaches out. I had real bad insomnia last night and dreams I was eating chew out of the can with a spoon. My wife was watching me in my dream appalled and I was telling her "it is not that bad". Then in my dream I was searching for a spit bottle under the seat of the car so I could drink it. Messed up! I am on day 4 so I guess that is a good sign that my mind is searching desperately for something that just isn't there anymore. My brain has been dependent on that poison for more than 25 years. I can feel the mind games beginning. Addiction can really warp your reasoning. In my original post I mentioned my blood pressure was high. I had it checked yesterday after 60 hours nic free and it was 122/78 (which is a huge improvement and actually a normal reading). So I have already cut my risk of stroke and heart attack. My addicted mind is telling me "Now you can just not dip the day before you go to the doctor and you will have a normal reading, you don't really have to give it up". I know this makes no sense (flawed logic) or maybe it makes perfect sense to you. This has been the challenge forever, that I have gotten so good at lying and hiding my addiction from everyone and convincing myself it is "not that bad". Just like my dream, everyone else knows it is disgusting and not normal. Temporary fixes that never really make the problem go away. Here is another mind game. I am working on my masters degree and have a big assignment due this week so my mind is saying "you picked the wrong time to do this, etc." and "you could do it after this assignment, class, week (fill in the blank) is over".

I didn't pick this week, it picked me. The doctor was worried if I didn't do something, my heart would give out, and I am a pretty fit athletic guy. Also with this website, I feel like I didn't find it, you found me, to make this "for real" this time! I am a liar and I need accountability from someone who understands the struggle. I think I can be honest on here because I don't have to be ashamed of my weakness, but the first step of me being honest is to admit that I am a liar and a manipulative addict.

Biggest thing I have learned from quitting is to get in my mind that one more dip, chew, fix, whatever you call it will not make you feel better. You feel worse because of the shame and weakness and an hour later(or less) you have the same problem. You are going to have cravings whether you dip or not. Tackle them one at a time with the choice not to chew and over time I have faith it will get easier. Here is good logic. Dipping leads to more craving, addiction and a horrible early death. Not dipping will lead to freedom and health, so when you crave---- do not dip and you will get there!

I did get roll posted this morning, lying there wide awake. Last night I had some trouble with the instructions, I guess that is the "fog" and I just didn't want to push my frustration tolerance. I kind of limped into the forum last night, just to say I am here. The video showing you how to do it helped my foggy brain by the way

I appreciate the response from Josh87 who I think has the same quit day as me and looking at your story Josh, you are like me but smart enough to do this ten years earlier. Keep up the good work and keep reaching out.

Thanks to the veterans that responded RDB1972, Mike1966, tjschu, and Thumblewort. I appreciate the inspiration!

I feel positive about today! I am staying free