I have never been much of a joiner, so for the past 100+ days I have lurked. I read as many posts, looked at all the pictures and articles as I could and realized that while I was not part of a formal group, I was informally just the same as the next guy or gal who was trying to quit a horrible habit. For 26 years the longest I had gone without my chosen poison was during boot camp. For 26 years I stole time away from those I loved while I hid and had a dip of snuff, parents, grandparents and the rest of my family who would not have approved. For the past 21 years I lied and stole from my wife and children. My wife did not approve of my habit (lots of support to quit on her part) so I had to hide it from her. Over the course of the last two decades I was found out a few times, and after the arguments and my thin supplications and promises that I would never do it again she finally let it drop, but I never did. Never once did I consider what I was doing to her, much less to myself.
I had never given much overt thought to quitting, although I knew in the back of my mind, under the heavy oily residue of the nicotine, that I should. I did the same things as everybody else; I'll quit when it reaches $......, this New Year's resolution will stick, blah blah blah. I finally realized when my insurance did more than threaten to raise rates based on my ignorant behavior that it was time. Even then though, I was just going to play at it. I am from Oklahoma and we have the 1-800-Quit Now number so I called thinking I would talk with them for a few minutes, get them to send my some nicotine gum and give it a half-hearted shot just to say I tried, suffer for a few days and run get a fresh can. (the gum sucks, threw it away at end of first week and blood-n-guts it the remainder)
I finally, on November 3, 2011 made up my mind. I quit with a partial can laying on my desk. I had one last pinch in the can, so I turned it over and wrote the date on the bottom and sat it on back on the corner of my desk. I heard so many people say it was easier to quit if they new anytime it got to tough they could always reach for that last pinch (worked for me anyway). Anyway, a very lengthy story cut short, it stuck. I will always attribute my quit to my God, the folks who walked this path before me who had the courage to be accountable to strangers, and to what little bit of will-power I may have.
Thanks to one and all
S. Butler