Hi Everyone,
Quick intro, I chose pitcher as my username because of a book of all things that helped me "quit" 5 years back. To give credit…”The easy way to stop smoking” (throughout the book whenever I read cigarette or smoke I mentally replaced it with Kodiak and spit). Probably not for everyone, but it left a positive impact on me and I must give it credit. This is also how I quit drinking, incidentally. Oh how easy that is compared to not dipping, at least for me.
I was clean for over 2 years, then I quit quitting dip. Given I slipped and fell back into this nonsense, I chose "pitcher" as my username as a reminder that there is no such thing as just once. What is a pitcher plant? These smart but devious plants coax or bribe an insect onto their ornamental outer leaf, leaving the insect to think all is better. But, slightly down the leaf it becomes slippery, and the insect who thought it was just stopping by for a treat is slowly and gradually eaten.
I like the sites focus on cold turkey and quitting every day. Like most if not all of you here, I also neglected to quit for 1 day in the past. That is not an option. And tomorrow is not a better day to quit. Today is the best day. Then repeat.
What drove me back to dipping was my inability to cope. That is something I will need to work on every day. Whenever I have an issue with my wife (happily married), a default of mine is to say “fuck it”. One time that “fuck it” sent me to the gas station to pick up a tin. As everyone here knows, those days will continue, on and off, and it’s up to me to cope better. Shit, as I’m writing this my wife called to complain about flies (dozens) in our garage and how she told me “I told you so…you should have cleaned the garage with a pressure washer”. My first thought in my mind was to say fuck it and fall back on dip.
I have two amazing kids. Somewhere on the site I read a letter written to the president of American snuff. It reminded me, not that I needed reminding, that this crap takes away from time with family, self worth, health, etc. Not to mention the terrible example if my children ever found out. Yes, I am a closet user; bathroom, while they are out, etc. Too embarrassed and scared of what my family would think if they knew I quit quitting.
After reading some posts IÂ’m excited to get to know some of you, lean on you and with time maybe even help some of you.
Day 1 quit.
