Intro part two;
I apologize my mental resolve and intestinal fortitude was not up to your standards. I agree, I left without a trace like a pussy. I have not lied though about being off nicotine, I Knew these questions were coming. That's why I posted there. I didn't come up with a new email, yes, I should have found these questions sooner, rather then just posting roll. I'm 28 years old, I tried and unsuccessfully failed because of not reaching out for support or help when I was about the fall off the wagon. Little did I know, until it was pointed out to me that it had been over years. It didn't feel like that long, time flys. I have tried and failed with the day here half a day here routine, when those that were close to you bust your balls. I did it this time for myself, I have endured all the craziness, my fiancé wants to throw me out, people at work are terrified of me, I should not operate anything with a motor, I cant shit, the smells coming out of me are horrible, I am biting right through my lip, im embracing this , and scrapping by. I apologize again, for not going through this the right way, I understand words do not mean a damn thing actions do. Murph- Day 5. Need all the help I can get. Also, I am a horribly slow typist, my hands are way to big for this keyboard.
1. What happened and for how long did you cave?
To be totally honest, quit my job, moved 900 miles away to a city I have never been to. Been here ever since. I lasted a while, eventually just gave in, everyone chewed, not an excuse but the truth and being 24 years old at the time. I tried a few times on and off to quit again but I did my best by posting in here and being held somewhat accountable.
2. Why did it happen?
I never reached out, never really got involved. I was having success and figured I could do it on my own. Why did I not come back and beg for mercy and fill out these questions and start all over again? I wasn't ready, I got my fix back and life was good again. I don't believe I'm the only "Douche Bag" ever, who has caved and not wanted to deal with all the bullshit, which I truly do deserve. I never meant to doupe anybody, or by leaving mentally mind fuck others quits. I just road off into the sunset like a pussy.
3. What are you going to do differently this time to make sure it doesn't happen again?
This was the first time ever, I woke up, and had enough. I didn't finish my last tin, I poured it down the toilet, started chewing gum and staying busy. Ive tried everything under the sun, never really make it past lunch. I actually wanted to quit, not for my fiancé, the life insurance guy, my mother, the kids I coach, I finally grew tired of having to have a dip to function.
I understand that everyone here takes this seriously, I was not trying to sneak in and get away with not having to answer for my "cave/collapse/ghosting". Call me a douche bag all you want, tell me to piss off, I don't mind. If this is your way of protecting your site and the members I understand. I understand that this is all about be accountable and honorable. I took the chicken shit way out by leaving and never coming back. I've never posted while dipping, or lied about roll. I waited this time to make sure I was serious and again knew this was coming. If anybody has any questions I'm more then happy to answer them.
4. Do you really want to quit?
Yes. I don't know how to answer this any other way.
