4:17 AM-
At 11 AM I stood outside with my friends and smoked my last pipe before I quit. Stupid, I know, smoking right before the day where your quitting dip, just going to keep leaving the door for the nic bitch to step right in. I guess I should introduce myself before I start bitching at you guys, after all, starting today you guys are all of my brothers and sisters in quitting, and believe me, I'm going to need you guys more than ever.
My name is Patrick, and I'm a college student. I started dipping four years ago when I was at boarding school. Before I knew it, I'm sitting here, a college student, whos father was killed by lung cancer, and I'm already wasting my life, dipping it away. I'm tired of listening to myself give up on my quitting attempts, I can't stand to be that helpless to something, I cant and wont do it. I'm quitting this bitch for myself, for my life, my future, and me
So I know that its 4:33 AM, but I cant sleep, probably because I would normally be dipping in my sleep or dipping until I felt really tired, taking it out and going back to sleep. I guess the first thing would be to develop a plan for today right? Like how I am going to stay as far away from a gas station as possible today, thats the most important thing right now, the next thing is getting some oral fixation, I only got some Lifesaver wintergreen mints left, probably the best thing to do is go and get some more + some Jolly Ranchers + some toffees and finally some gum. and then its cleaning my room of all the empty cans and spitters I have hidden away, I mean seriously, they are like everywhere and I hate it when people enter my room and I hope they don't look into that cup or ask questions or look in drawers, like I am sick of this bitch! No longer am I going to live by this bitches rule book anymore, the ball is in my court and son, I'm a ballhog. Time to go read the rest of the forums and figure out how to do roll!!!