Barner Quit Intro

[brettlees]

I have to say i'm experiencing a lot of the same as you guys. EARLY morning wakeups and no going back to sleep. Fog all dang day, sometimes terribly fuzzy. Not getting squat done at work and thinking i should leave early or stay away (think i will leave soon today, say i'm sick). Hang in there both of you! I"m quit with you today. YOu're not alone in these things you are feeling.

[Barner]

Day 10 - Journal Entry - Double digits. I'm foggy. I'm real foggy. The craves have passed for now. There was a time a few days ago that I wished my quit group would just go away so there would be no one to hold me to my word. I may have strangled them if I could have. I'm past that point. I can hardly put a sentence together however. My work is piling up. I think I will take tomorrow off. How important is my quit, right? Very, and I will make it stay that way. 

I've muddled through damn near every intro/word of wisdom/HOF speech there is. I get excited when the HOF logo is lit up with a new post. The problem is that I've forgotten most of what I read because my right eye keeps trying to close and I find myself drifted off and wondering where I was in the post. The fog is exacerbated by a lack of sleep I'm sure. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. I hear that's normal.

The anxiety of the known and unknown feelings/thoughts/symptoms I'm having are not too bad. I've battled anxiety for the better part of 4 years. I think it had something to do with my mistress, nicotine and the double life I was living. I'm giving that some time.

I've spit more sunflower seeds than I care to admit. I bought some Bacc Off Straight, because that was all I could find. It's nasty. I've chewed gum like a fiend. I really think I have to have something in my mouth to get work done. That fake belief ends soon.

10 days is not much. It's not even a dent compared to the past, but it's something. It's a foundation. Note to self, the first 10 days were rough. Don't go back. Don't ever go back, because there is nothing there to go back to. 

I've already quit today. I can't wait to post roll in the morning.

KOKO. Stay Quit.
Barner

Day 11 for me, I feel your pain, looks like we have some shit in common.

I've battled anxiety as well for the last three years. Sleep is not happening for me either right now, fucking blows. The fake dip isn't working, thinking about trying the Hooch as I've heard it's relatively close in taste and texture.

We could be a resource for each through this shit as I'm struggling as well right now. Hang in there brother.

I PM'd you my info. You hang in there as well.

[BigRuss]

Day 10 - Journal Entry - Double digits. I'm foggy. I'm real foggy. The craves have passed for now. There was a time a few days ago that I wished my quit group would just go away so there would be no one to hold me to my word. I may have strangled them if I could have. I'm past that point. I can hardly put a sentence together however. My work is piling up. I think I will take tomorrow off. How important is my quit, right? Very, and I will make it stay that way. 

I've muddled through damn near every intro/word of wisdom/HOF speech there is. I get excited when the HOF logo is lit up with a new post. The problem is that I've forgotten most of what I read because my right eye keeps trying to close and I find myself drifted off and wondering where I was in the post. The fog is exacerbated by a lack of sleep I'm sure. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. I hear that's normal.

The anxiety of the known and unknown feelings/thoughts/symptoms I'm having are not too bad. I've battled anxiety for the better part of 4 years. I think it had something to do with my mistress, nicotine and the double life I was living. I'm giving that some time.

I've spit more sunflower seeds than I care to admit. I bought some Bacc Off Straight, because that was all I could find. It's nasty. I've chewed gum like a fiend. I really think I have to have something in my mouth to get work done. That fake belief ends soon.

10 days is not much. It's not even a dent compared to the past, but it's something. It's a foundation. Note to self, the first 10 days were rough. Don't go back. Don't ever go back, because there is nothing there to go back to. 

I've already quit today. I can't wait to post roll in the morning.

KOKO. Stay Quit.
Barner

Day 11 for me, I feel your pain, looks like we have some shit in common.

I've battled anxiety as well for the last three years. Sleep is not happening for me either right now, fucking blows. The fake dip isn't working, thinking about trying the Hooch as I've heard it's relatively close in taste and texture.

We could be a resource for each through this shit as I'm struggling as well right now. Hang in there brother.

[Barner]

Day 10 - Journal Entry - Double digits. I'm foggy. I'm real foggy. The craves have passed for now. There was a time a few days ago that I wished my quit group would just go away so there would be no one to hold me to my word. I may have strangled them if I could have. I'm past that point. I can hardly put a sentence together however. My work is piling up. I think I will take tomorrow off. How important is my quit, right? Very, and I will make it stay that way.

I've muddled through damn near every intro/word of wisdom/HOF speech there is. I get excited when the HOF logo is lit up with a new post. The problem is that I've forgotten most of what I read because my right eye keeps trying to close and I find myself drifted off and wondering where I was in the post. The fog is exacerbated by a lack of sleep I'm sure. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. I hear that's normal.

The anxiety of the known and unknown feelings/thoughts/symptoms I'm having are not too bad. I've battled anxiety for the better part of 4 years. I think it had something to do with my mistress, nicotine and the double life I was living. I'm giving that some time.

I've spit more sunflower seeds than I care to admit. I bought some Bacc Off Straight, because that was all I could find. It's nasty. I've chewed gum like a fiend. I really think I have to have something in my mouth to get work done. That fake belief ends soon.

10 days is not much. It's not even a dent compared to the past, but it's something. It's a foundation. Note to self, the first 10 days were rough. Don't go back. Don't ever go back, because there is nothing there to go back to.

I've already quit today. I can't wait to post roll in the morning.

KOKO. Stay Quit.
Barner

[Picker.of.Strings]

Your avatar is awesome Barner.... Jeremiah Johnson didn't need nictoine!

[Derk40]

Thanks gmann, KKLJINC, CaliforniaSlim, klark, and Reaper for the good words and advice.

I've edited the OP, adjusting out the noob language. I'll reconsider the decision to enlist family help. I still think it's incredibly selfish to come out from behind the ninja mask. It's a real possibility to that I'm to foggy to think straight however. To quote someone wise, I'm weaving a web of accountability here. That will have to do today.

Day 8 - Dang yesterday was hard. Not in a crave/cave way, just a foggy way. I got less done at work yesterday than any day in the last 7 years I've worked here. I'm going to kick ass today though. I've quit today.

Great decision to quit brother! You will not regret it.

Noone is asking you to have a quit pity party... only coming clean if/when you are ready and leaving the BS lies fully behind you. This is still a very personal thing  you don't have to advertize to the world that you are quit if you don't want to.

It is your call... it is your quit. Just like deciding to quit -- you will tell folks when you are ready to open up.

For now... Don't overthink that issue -- The key for you today is staying quit and keeping nicotine out of your face! I am quit with you today.

[gorilla1]

Quit together, not apart. That includes family and friends bud. Don't give the nic an open door to walk right back into your life and take you hostage again. You talk about layers of accountability?! That one is HUGE! Everything we do here at KTC is a powerful tool in quitting, but having that solidified in our daily lives is just as powerful. In fact its the whole point. Freedom my friend. In all areas of our lives. I invite you to join me and leave that shadowy, deceptive part of yourself behind. You now live with integrity, honesty and courage. And there are thousands of us behind you.

Peace.

[Barner]

Thanks gmann, KKLJINC, CaliforniaSlim, klark, and Reaper for the good words and advice.

I've edited the OP, adjusting out the noob language. I'll reconsider the decision to enlist family help. I still think it's incredibly selfish to come out from behind the ninja mask. It's a real possibility to that I'm to foggy to think straight however. To quote someone wise, I'm weaving a web of accountability here. That will have to do today.

Day 8 - Dang yesterday was hard. Not in a crave/cave way, just a foggy way. I got less done at work yesterday than any day in the last 7 years I've worked here. I'm going to kick ass today though. I've quit today.

[Reaper]

Barner

Welcome to the family. If you choose not to tell your family then like they said come in here and vent on this family of quitters. We are here for you and we got your back 100% no matter which one you choose. The one thing we urge you to do is don't give in to the cravings and hang tough. We have all been through the withdrawals and we know the pains you are going through so use us to help you with your quit. if I can help in any way let me know.
Brandon

[klark]

Well this is it. I'm late to the introductions party. I've been posting with January 2014 Nic Killers and I'm on day 7. I have posted roll this morning and quit today.

I did want to get an introduction on the books. I keep trying to add layers of accountability. I am hoping this will strengthen the quit. I need journal or record of the quit to never forget where I was on day one.

I'll try to write a few sentences about me. I am a Christian. I am from Springville, AL. I am a Dye-Hard Auburn fan. I am a CPA. I used nicotine (every delivery method known to man) as the ultimate ninja from age 16 to 33. I have been married 12 years. We have three girls ages six, two and two (twins).

I was a ninja dipper for every year of a 17 year addiction. I am now attempting the ninja quit. It's an odd sense that something that should be so joyful has to be hidden. However, I refuse to crap on 12 years of marriage and relationships to be selfish in wanting everyone to join in my quit party. I hope to break that news one day, but it's sure not going to be today.

Over the last 17 years, I've lived a double life. I have lied, been selfish, and mean spirited. I've relished in time away from my family and friends. It was really no way to live. The nicotine is very strong. I hate it with every fiber of my being. More than that, I hate the monster I became.

There sure are a lot of I's in this intro, but I guess that's what intro's are about. I am so thankful to have found this site. The accountability is a God send, especially for a ninja. I am looking forward until tomorrow and every day thereafter of posting roll and staying quit.

Welcome, but there is a word you should get rid of in your introduction, hoping. There are some words that have no place here: hope, try, luck. We quit daily and we keep that promise, if you need to strengthen the quit, get a whole bunch of phone numbers of other quitters and help each other out. Be glad to give you mine if you need it. Remember this from a wise quitter:

"Attempts are lame, trying is gay, and hope is a fat chick from high school. Just quit."

[CaliforniaSlim]

Well this is it. I'm late to the introductions party. I've been posting with January 2014 Nic Killers and I'm on day 7. I have posted roll this morning and quit today.

I did want to get an introduction on the books. I keep trying to add layers of accountability. I am hoping this will strengthen the quit. I need journal or record of the quit to never forget where I was on day one.

I'll try to write a few sentences about me. I am a Christian. I am from Springville, AL. I am a Dye-Hard Auburn fan. I am a CPA. I used nicotine (every delivery method known to man) as the ultimate ninja from age 16 to 33. I have been married 12 years. We have three girls ages six, two and two (twins).

I was a ninja dipper for every year of a 17 year addiction. I am now attempting the ninja quit. It's an odd sense that something that should be so joyful has to be hidden. However, I refuse to crap on 12 years of marriage and relationships to be selfish in wanting everyone to join in my quit party. I hope to break that news one day, but it's sure not going to be today.

Over the last 17 years, I've lived a double life. I have lied, been selfish, and mean spirited. I've relished in time away from my family and friends. It was really no way to live. The nicotine is very strong. I hate it with every fiber of my being. More than that, I hate the monster I became.

There sure are a lot of I's in this intro, but I guess that's what intro's are about. I am so thankful to have found this site. The accountability is a God send, especially for a ninja. I am looking forward until tomorrow and every day thereafter of posting roll and staying quit.

Glad you are aboard and posting with your January group. You guys are shaping up into a strong unit.
I think the general consensus around here is that your quit will be stronger if you involve your family. I don;'t have first hand experience with that since I was a half a ninja- They knew I chewed, but not that I had a lip in most of the time.

Keep posting to this intro. It does add a layer of accountability, to yourself, as you have a record of what you have been through, as well as to others. People that took the time to write on your intro and share their experience with you. Can't let them down.

Glad you are here. Keep up the good work
PM me if you need another number.

[kkljinc]

Well this is it. I'm late to the introductions party. I've been posting with January 2014 Nic Killers and I'm on day 7. I have posted roll this morning and quit today.

I did want to get an introduction on the books. I keep trying to add layers of accountability. I am hoping this will strengthen the quit. I need journal or record of the quit to never forget where I was on day one.

I'll try to write a few sentences about me. I am a Christian. I am from Springville, AL. I am a Dye-Hard Auburn fan. I am a CPA. I used nicotine (every delivery method known to man) as the ultimate ninja from age 16 to 33. I have been married 12 years. We have three girls ages six, two and two (twins).

I was a ninja dipper for every year of a 17 year addiction. I am now attempting the ninja quit. It's an odd sense that something that should be so joyful has to be hidden. However, I refuse to crap on 12 years of marriage and relationships to be selfish in wanting everyone to join in my quit party. I hope to break that news one day, but it's sure not going to be today.

Over the last 17 years, I've lived a double life. I have lied, been selfish, and mean spirited. I've relished in time away from my family and friends. It was really no way to live. The nicotine is very strong. I hate it with every fiber of my being. More than that, I hate the monster I became.

There sure are a lot of I's in this intro, but I guess that's what intro's are about. I am so thankful to have found this site. The accountability is a God send, especially for a ninja. I am looking forward until tomorrow and every day thereafter of posting roll and staying quit.

Welcome to KTC, and welcome to your quit. I was not a ninja, I blissfully chewed my butt off not caring who saw me.

I do have some concern about going this alone. I know many other Ninja's will jump here with advice. You note, you want another layer of accountability, you will get one with a daily promise to your wife.

If you are going to go this alone, be sure to rage on us not on your unsuspecting family. Be sure to reach out to your group, get phone numbers and get your battle buddies. Drink the Kool-aide, and jump on in the water is fine.

KKLJINC

[G]

Well this is it. I'm late to the introductions party. I've been posting with January 2014 Nic Killers and I'm on day 7. I have posted roll this morning and quit today.

I did want to get an introduction on the books. I keep trying to add layers of accountability. I am hoping this will strengthen the quit. I need journal or record of the quit to never forget where I was on day one.

I'll try to write a few sentences about me. I am a Christian. I am from Springville, AL. I am a Dye-Hard Auburn fan. I am a CPA. I used nicotine (every delivery method known to man) as the ultimate ninja from age 16 to 33. I have been married 12 years. We have three girls ages six, two and two (twins).

I was a ninja dipper for every year of a 17 year addiction. I am now attempting the ninja quit. It's an odd sense that something that should be so joyful has to be hidden. However, I refuse to crap on 12 years of marriage and relationships to be selfish in wanting everyone to join in my quit party. I hope to break that news one day, but it's sure not going to be today.

Over the last 17 years, I've lived a double life. I have lied, been selfish, and mean spirited. I've relished in time away from my family and friends. It was really no way to live. The nicotine is very strong. I hate it with every fiber of my being. More than that, I hate the monster I became.

There sure are a lot of I's in this intro, but I guess that's what intro's are about. I am so thankful to have found this site. The accountability is a God send, especially for a ninja. I am looking forward until tomorrow and every day thereafter of posting roll and staying quit.

Welcome, sir.

One thing I noticed. I point it out, not to be critical, but because your attitude about quitting needs to be empowering and the language you use is important. If you are quit, then there's no need in putting off telling your wife. Not telling her leaves an "out" for you to go back to being a ninja again. You are also foregoing any support she could offer.

Next, there is no "joy" that comes from dipping. That's a lie that comes from our addiction. We do not enjoy using nicotine. We just don't enjoy "not" using nicotine. It's called withdrawals. Using nicotine temporarily cures withdrawals. Only quitting can permanently stop the withdrawals. It will take some time and some hard work, but if I can do it, you can dang sure do it.

Plenty of fellow barners here. Go Dawgs.

Yell if any questions.

[Barner]

Well this is it. I'm late to the introductions party. I've been posting with January 2014 Nic Killers and I'm on day 7. I have posted roll this morning and quit today.

I did want to get an introduction on the books. I keep trying to add layers of accountability. This will strengthen the quit. I need journal or record of the quit to never forget where I was on day one.

I'll try to write a few sentences about me. I am a Christian. I am from Springville, AL. I am a Dye-Hard Auburn fan. I am a CPA. I used nicotine (every delivery method known to man) as the ultimate ninja from age 16 to 33. I have been married 12 years. We have three girls ages six, two and two (twins).

I was a ninja dipper for every year of a 17 year addiction. I am now attempting the ninja quit. However, I refuse to crap on 12 years of marriage and relationships to be selfish in wanting everyone to join in my quit party. I will break that news one day, but it's sure not going to be today.

Over the last 17 years, I've lived a double life. I have lied, been selfish, and mean spirited. I've relished in time away from my family and friends. It was really no way to live. The nicotine is very strong. I hate it with every fiber of my being. More than that, I hate the monster I became.

There sure are a lot of I's in this intro, but I guess that's what intro's are about. I am so thankful to have found this site. The accountability is a God send, especially for a ninja. I am looking forward until tomorrow and every day thereafter of posting roll and staying quit.