Day 3: It's going slowly. Reading old stuff here is helping, if you're a vet who's posted Words of Wisdom, thank you. Watching some of
Joel Spitzer's Youtube thousand stop-smoking videos is helping.
The line that's now in my sig: "Each cue driven crave episode presents an opportunity to extinguish additional conditioning and reclaim another aspect of life" is from Joel Spitzer's site. Someone here, either directly or indirectly linked me there, and I really like that way of looking at it (and I'm a nerd, so I like the way it's written, too). Not being in control of my life is my #1 reason up there, and every craving is a chance to be in control.
It's not torturous, particularly, as long as I can maintain that mindset. I know why I'm doing this, why I'm saying no when nicotine suggests itself to me again, and again, and again. I have to tell it NO a thousand times without saying Yes once for it to get the message.
I probably can't judge my reactions over the weekend with a clear view yet. I only still had the ecig because it wasn't mine, and because I didn't decide to quit when I did (midnight between Friday and Saturday) until 11:55 PM Friday night.
I didn't keep it to use, not consciously anyways. If I'd really planned a quit, instead of just letting the idea ferment until I finally said "Fuck it, now's a good of time as any" I would have given it back ahead of time. I knew really quitting would involve not using any nicotine including that, and I referred to it as a temptation and a danger.
What I don't know is if I would have given it back or broken first, without you guys. And what I do know is that, even though you made me feel attacked and defensive and defiant, you have helped me get within reach of 0% nicotine in my body.
So, thanks for calling me a dumbass, is what I'm saying.