Originally posted: Feb 05, 2018 6:33 PM
Hey all.. I am 64 days quit. I wasn't sure how the forums worked, but I think I am getting the hang of this now.
Here is some background on me (because we all have similarities):
I just turned 48 years old. I started chewing when I was in college (28 years ago - more than half my life). Started out having a chew while I was drinking with my friends, then started chewing while I was studying. I would stop using for a week or two, then start up again. About 10 years ago, my company decided that office space was too expensive and we all had to start working from home. This is when I started chewing more often. I would wake up, eat something quick, take a shower, shit and sometimes shave, then put a dip in. I would have a dip in from 8am until Noon, have a quick bite to eat, then put another dip in from 12:30 to 5pm, then go for a bike ride, eat and put another dip in until I went to bed. I was a 'slave' to tobacco. I would make sure that I had enough chew at all times to ensure that I wouldn't run out as many of the local stores would run out (go figure!), so I was buying more quantities each time. As the price of chew kept going up, I started tracking how much I was spending (thousands of dollars each year). I wanted to quit, but I liked chewing, it was just an 'expensive' habit that I had, is what I would tell myself. I stopped going to the dentist as my gums were receding and my dentist was getting concerned. Along with my gums receding, my family has a history of high-blood pressure (my parents [both died of tobacco related illness - COPD and lung cancer], and both sisters smoke), so of course my blood pressure was high. I lied to myself and thought, it is hereditary. Lastly, I love to ride my bike for fresh air, exercise and to clear my head after work, last Summer I noticed that I was getting tired and struggling while I was riding. Now a year ago, I biked 100 miles in one day, now I was having problems riding 15 miles without issues. I couldn't figure out why.
On October 30th, I was working out on my spinning bike (too cold for an outside ride) and I normally use a heart monitor to see my beats per min. About 15mins into the workout, I was huffing and puffing. I slowed down and just kept a minimal pace. After my workout, I looked at my beats per minute (BPM) and when I experienced the shortness of breath it was at 200 BPM (normal for me is about 140-150). I decided to head straight to bed with no chew, my resting heart rate was still 100-120 BPM. I was getting pretty scared and tried to relax and go to bed. The next morning, my chest hurt and I went to the Emergency Room. After a bunch of tests, they told me that I had a Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT) and I was given a heart monitor for 2 weeks. I continued to chew during the 2 weeks, but cut back to only 2 per day and only for an hour (one in the morning and one before bed). My doctor told me SVTs are caused by stimulants like Tobacco, caffeine, cocaine, etc. I knew what was causing the problem. I don't drink coffee often and I don't do cocaine, so it was the chew.
I needed a plan to quit, do I quit cold turkey, do I use patches/gum, do I try a medication? I decided to quit cold turkey, but I needed something to help with the physical craving of having something in my lip. I found a link to Smokey Mountain Herbal chew and ordered 10 cans (and a hat) from their website. When the Herbal chew arrived, I only had one tin of Grizzly Wintergreen left. I would mix in a little Smokey Mountain in with the Grizzly until it was gone (2 days) and I was only chewing Smokey Mountain. I would put a dip of Smokey Mountain in the morning, once in the afternoon and once before bed. I didn't have many cravings for the first few weeks. I was thinking, 'Man, this is easy!' why didn't I quit before. I was feeling great. During the Christmas, I told everyone I quit. Some people didn't even know I chewed and were puzzled when I told them I quit. Then on December 26th the withdrawal symptoms kicked into high gear... ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, HEART PALPITATIONS, SHAKY HANDS, TINGLING IN MY FEET, CAN'T SLEEP. The list goes on. I think I had every withdrawal symptom ever documented on KTC and it was amplified. That is how I found out about the KTC website. I started searching nicotine withdrawal and found this site. I started reading all the posts and realized how tobacco completely was messing with my body and mind. The worse day was on December 29th. I had lunch with my best friend. I told him I felt like complete crap and thought I was going to die. He told me I was going to be ok and have a healthy lunch, drink a bunch of water and get some rest. I got home from a great lunch and peed for 10 mins from drinking too much water. My head in a fog, body tingling, heart pounding, I looked for my Will and got all my documents together and put them by the front door, so if I didn't wake up from my nap, it would all be there. I truly thought that I was facing death in the face and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I laid down and closed my eyes. I fell asleep pretty quickly. About an hour later, I opened my eyes and immediately jumped out of bed. I felt amazing, tons of energy, I was hungry for some food. I ended up jumping on my spinning bike and doing the same workout that I did when I had my SVT and had no issues.
Since the end of December, there has been really good days, really bad days, some so-so days and some ok days. The only thing that got me through those days were reading the posts from the KTC forums. I would add comments to them if they helped me. I have found that I just live each day one at a time and how they are is like a pendulum, if today is a bad day, tomorrow will be much better. This is definitely a journey as my body is re-writing itself after 28 years. I still have SVT's from time to time, but it is not life threatening and I have exercises to control it.
Tobacco took so much from me: money, time, past girlfriends, my self respect and my health. As others who have quit for years have mentioned, tobacco will always haunt me as I am an addict of nicotine, but realizing what it was doing to me after I quit, I never want to go back to using tobacco. Life is too short anyway and I want to experience everything I can.
Peace and if you need any help, let me know as we can help each other.
John (Day 64 and still killin the can!)
Topic: Introduction - johninslp (Read 3666 times)