Hello Everyone. Today is my third day tobacco free, and my first day on the site. I had been toying with the idea of quitting my Redman habbit for a few weeks, and then something strange happened a few days ago that led to my choice to quit on the 1st of Feb.
The strange thing that happened was that on the 30th of Jan, the last pinch in the bag was just enough for my last pinch of the night as I was setttling in for the evening. The next day, the 31st, I got busy at work and never had a chance to get to the store to buy more. When I woke up on the 1st, I had the realization that I had just completed my first tobacco free day in the last 8 years. So why stop at one, I decided that now is the time to take back my life.
Conservatively I would chew 14-16 hours a day. When I got up I would throw one in and I would take out my last one as I was falling asleep. I used to joke that the only time I didn't have a dip in was when I was putting in a fresh one. Now after making my decision to quit, I think of that with sadness. What is funny about that? What is funny about poisoning yourself for the greater portion of every day? What excuses do we make to justify poisoning ourselves? How do you continue to lie to yourself that "chewing tobacco is better than dip because the whole leaf isn't as harsh on your gums." How do you keep telling yourself, "it'll never happen to me" when it has already started, your teeth are stained to the point you are embarrased to smile, and you find out the hard way that the "hairy tongue" from the poster at the dentist office isn't a myth afterall.
Honestly, I can't even think of why I started to begin with. I was in my Junior year in college, I wasn't pressured by my peers, but so many of them were dipping that one day I tried it to see what all the fuss was about. That was 10 years ago. I didn't become a full time user until I was in the Army, of which I have been a proud member for 8 years.
I am currently deployed in Iraq, and so it seems like a strange place to want to quit, however quitting now means I will reach my 100 days in May, which coincides with the birth of my daughter. After reading Jenny and Tom Kern's Story, the thought of not being able to see her grow up is more than I can bear.
So far the cravings haven't been too bad, though I know they will come soon, I have had a dull headache for the last two days, and the sores are starting to pop up in my mouth.
Thanks for putting up with my rant, We are all in this together.