Day 68
Shitty day KTC-wise, but I want to commit this to memory all the same.
Anytime a highly regarded and well-established veteran presence caves, that's going to send shockwaves across the site and through each of the groups. The reactions are quite literally all across the board. There's a mix of anger, disbelief, sadness, shock, disappointment, incredulity, forgiveness, empathy, etc. There's this perception that guys that have crossed into the Hall of Fame are somehow more durable in their quits and impervious to caves. We all know what a complete fallacy that is, but there it is - staring back at us when a highly regarded "badass" inexplicably decides to go back to fingering a can after an extended layoff.
After observing and participating in some of the general upheaval today, trying to make some sense out of it, I keep coming back to how this all is somehow part of the bigger picture. Part of the natural ecosystem and lifecycle of addiction and recovery. An analogy that comes to mind are forest fires. Many of my relatives are firefighters in eastern Oregon, and out there forest fires are a fact of life year in and year out. I've seen the damage and destruction firsthand when I was growing up. The bare smoldering, charred trunks of cedar and pine trees as far as the eye could see. Entire neighborhoods with the houses burned to the foundation. The whole scene looks like something straight out of "The Road". Dystopic and devoid of all life. A few years later, you could return to the same spot and see various signs of life already popping back up and thriving. The suddenly nitrogen-rich soil, courtesy of that ash and char, gives way to more flowers, trees, and bushes than ever before. The whole series of events is unfortunate, but also by design.
There was nothing wrong with the forest as it once was. The fact that it burned almost completely is sad, disappointing, aggravating, etc. But it is also a fact of life and part of the forest's ability to grow and renew itself even stronger and more densely than before. One tall tree that is burned to the ground enriches the soil for the hundreds of saplings that eventually come in to take its place. It seems like a similar cycle of destruction and renewal is at play here at KTC. A mighty oak occasionally burns, and the younger trees stand to benefit.
