Today is the day that I say goodbye to Nicotine. I had smoked since around age 13 up until my early 20Â’s, then switched off to snuff to feed my addiction away from those around me who have expressed concern. I want to be honest, I am scared shitless of dying, now that I have hit my 30Â’s and am ready to start a family with my wife, I have to do this (I am 31). I keep asking myself why if youÂ’re scared of death are you in such a rush to make it to that point? I find myself more and more often lately being worried (not just passing thoughts) about the fact that I could develop or have developed cancer. Sometimes I swear I have myself convinced if my jaw just hurts a little. The point is that I have come to realization that nicotine has been my crutch for many years. I work a stressful job, been through some rough times, and nicotine was always there for me. No more, everyone around me admires my dedication to get things done when I say I will. Failure is just not an option. What they donÂ’t know is that I have fooled all of them for many years. Quitting nicotine has been my longest and most trying battle. I lurked on this site for a few hours while I was working up the courage to jump in. ItÂ’s not like the idea of quitting is new to me, itÂ’s something I think about all the time. I have quit cigarettes in the past, only to replace them with snuff. I tried Wellbutrin, patches, and lozenges. My experience of all of those methods is that all I was doing was trading one poison for another. No more, cold turkey is the way I am quitting. Reading over other posts, and reading up on how to use this forum, I decided that today is the day. I know that it isnÂ’t going to be easy, hell I know I am going to be a dick to all those around me in the next 24-72 hours, but I will get through it. I may need a kick in the ass every once in a while, but I pledge to collaborate and contribute to this group everyday. Today is day 1, today is the last day I ever used nicotine in any form! I look forward to getting to know my quit brothers and sisters better.
-Matt
