Struggling

[Gunner26]

Hey Jeff... Fellow March Maniac here, don't take this the wrong way but I was happy when I saw your post. Not the fact that you're struggling, I am not happy about that but just the fact that multiple things you listed in there are exactly what I am going through. I am at that shitty point where this little douche bag (nic) is starting to tell me that it's ok...see you can quit, now come on over and have a little dip in my pool. Its nuts, I keep thinking is this normal I feel like a bag of shit! It's day 21(which feels like day 421) shouldnt I be feeling good. I have been getting headaches which I posted a couple of days of ago and other quitters assured me it was normal. Anyways know you are definetly not alone with the way you are feeling, just wanted to let you know. Take it easy.
Gunner26

[LLCope]

I remember somewhere around day 30 was the worse for me--it was worse than day 3. I had anxiety, depression, the shakes and mentally thought I was going crazy.

This is all from the addiction. The addiction is trying to tell you that you will lose your business, family and everything that is important unless you come back to the addiction.

When I was going through what you are now-- I had ONE MANTRA--- "I am Quit come Hell or Highwater---No matter the pain, I AM DONE!"

Post roll and keep your word---every day you do the pain becomes less.

I am on day 253 and it is well worth it!

You got this

[loot]

FWIW...Day 30 was the worst on record for LOOT. It was miserable.

LOOTs advice is this: Remember. Remember every shitty second of every sucking fucking day. Remember how you feel and how terribly low you think you've sunk.

Those memories will be what saves you from you. The day you forget is the day you will fail. It may not be the day you cave...but it will certainly lead to that day. Complacency kills friend.

[Scowick65]

Well its been 28 days for which I was hoping would be a milestone of feeling good and proud of myself.

Unfortunetely since the 25th day all I feel is worse and worse. Anxitey, lack of concentration, moody, panicky, tired (lack of sleep) hungry with little will to eat.

I felt great and proud over the first few weeks but domething happened which is what I hear is the fog. Well its very dense in my case. The guilt of dipping all those years is overwelming. I lost my shit a few days ago but I didn't dip. I worked myself up into a frenzy and tried everything to feel better. I brushed my toungue so hard on the side just to try to get off some white that probably wasn't there causing irritation and a sore. Now my mouth is killing me which did not happen when I was dipping.

My work performance over the last week has been dismal. I own a company with over 60 employees and feel like I am not up too the task latley which concerns me greatly.

I have not been mentally available to my family or employees lately. I dont even remember the conversations with my customers five minuites after I hang up the phone.

For the first few weeks I was feeling just fine. Working out a few times a week, eating fine and sleeping ok. Within what feels like a minute all that has changed and I cant even leave the house.

With all that said. I have not dipped in 28 days and I have not dipped today.

Right on. I know what you mean. Pick a random group and start reading in their 20s. This symptoms are damn repetitive and predictable. Uncanny really. Reading other groups may not make you feel better, but it will make you realize your feelings are normal. Read further into the 30s, 40s, etc. Knowing what is comming helps you prepare. As an aside, the stories your read are damn funny. It is also awesome to read what we percieve as quit studs struggling in their own time.

Read on brother. I promise, life gets better and better without the nic bitch.

[Mr Nice Guy]

All these negatives will pass and you will still be quit. Make sure you remember that. Its not easy.

I am on day 71 today and about day 50 I went to my doc and got some small dose of a wellbutrin generic (bupropion.) I have been on it for maybe a few weeks and I do feel better. I was suffering from some of the same symptoms as you.

Maybe talk to your doc if you are worried. The meds are worth a try maybe. I got a month's worth for like $8.00 (with insurance.)

Protect your quit at all costs whatever you do. I GUARANTEE you will feel more depressed, more anxious, more defeated, cant focus, etc IF YOU CAVE.

It will get better. Lets chalk up another victory today. Quit with you

[wastepanel]

This is a message I've put up in every group when they get to the 20s in their quit.

The 20s will knock you down, and make you wish you were dead. Push through it.

Hello quitters.

I see that some of you have hit 20 days in your quit. Congratulations.

There is a major funk that is coming up shortly. It starts usually in the late teens. It does not make you crave nicotine. It's the opposite. It makes you think you are invincible and completely quit.

Take a look at the other months' spreadsheets. We lose many a fine quitter in the 20s. In fact, we lose more quitters in the 20s than any other time (except for the first week). I myself was almost a victim.

My thoughts on the funk are this:

The first week is complete hell. We all agree there. But, upon completion of the first week, we start to feel more comfortable with being quit. We get a sense of accomplishment for breaking that physical addiction, and our quits are fueled by adreneline.

Around day 20 (maybe later, maybe sooner), the adreneline starts to run out. Our brains want to tell us that we are quit, and we don't need to think about being quit all the time. We want normalcy, rather than having to feel committed to a website and anonymous strangers. We don't want to think that we used to stick cat turds in our mouths all the time, let alone that we are addicts. Even if we've embraced the label "addict" early in the quit, we wonder if we truly are at this time. We start to think that this roll call posting is silly business, because we are quit already. We begin hating all the bullshit on this site, and start thinking that the site is more drama than what it is worth.

This is the start to the planned cave.

Your addicted brain is letting the nic bitch have the microphone in your head and she is the one talking. She will tell you that she is gone, and that you don't need to post roll anymore. She'll tell you every lie under the sun to get you to stop giving your word everyday.

Some of you will decide she is right. You will leave. And you might not even cave right away, but you will. The nic bitch is a tricky whore, and she can sleep until you are the weakest.

Be very careful here. There is a lot of bullshit on this site, and it's meant to be a distraction for you. If it becomes too much, simply post roll and ignore it. Lean on your brothers. They are having these same thoughts, and the best thing you can do is to make sure that everybody keeps posting.



I stopped posting roll after 150 days in 2006. I caved in 2009 because I forgot I was an addict. The nic bitch had taken that time to break down every tool I learned here, and made me forget. She dug her claws in, and I manned up again 111 days ago today. I should be around 1,900 days quit, and instead all I can claim is that I stopped for like 1,000 days and then again for 111.

EVERYDAY

Post roll.
Stay quit.
Repeat.

I see that you have 4 posts to your name. Please take the time to start posting roll on a regular basis and that will help alleviate some of this. You have a little different curve because of this. But instead of caving, you reached out for support. Big props bud. You won't hate the site during this time, but that invincibility feeling has got your lows feeling ultra low now.

[J2b]

Well its been 28 days for which I was hoping would be a milestone of feeling good and proud of myself.

Unfortunetely since the 25th day all I feel is worse and worse. Anxitey, lack of concentration, moody, panicky, tired (lack of sleep) hungry with little will to eat.

I felt great and proud over the first few weeks but domething happened which is what I hear is the fog. Well its very dense in my case. The guilt of dipping all those years is overwelming. I lost my shit a few days ago but I didn't dip. I worked myself up into a frenzy and tried everything to feel better. I brushed my toungue so hard on the side just to try to get off some white that probably wasn't there causing irritation and a sore. Now my mouth is killing me which did not happen when I was dipping.

My work performance over the last week has been dismal. I own a company with over 60 employees and feel like I am not up too the task latley which concerns me greatly.

I have not been mentally available to my family or employees lately. I dont even remember the conversations with my customers five minuites after I hang up the phone.

For the first few weeks I was feeling just fine. Working out a few times a week, eating fine and sleeping ok. Within what feels like a minute all that has changed and I cant even leave the house.

With all that said. I have not dipped in 28 days and I have not dipped today.

Jeff - I do see you posted roll today, so that takes any chance of backsliding off the table. Good for you. Unfortunately, I do not have any words that will lift the fog, or make the other physiological effects of quitting a poison any better.

I do, however, have 347 days of being quit behind me. I can tell you it gets SIGNIFICANTLY better. And quickly. You will realize that your brain works just fine without nicotine. It does take some time, but I reckon you will begin seeing it soon.

In the meantime, I know you said you "cant leave the house" but you can do things at home to help - keep working out to the extent possible. Running an option? If so I highly recommend it (or any cardio for that matter). Keep up with the water. Seeds, gum, hard candy, hell fake chew if you can get it will all help. Just stay off the nicotine.

You are experiencing what we call a funk. These come in various shapes, sizes and durations. They also end. Take the time to get out of your head, and you will get through it.

I did not have to do so, but plenty of quitters also talked to their doctor about quitting and what they were experiencing. Some were given meds to help, others just felt better hearing a professional opinion that they were doing the best thing for their health.

Now is when your intestinal fortitude is going to be tested. I dont have numbers to back it up, but I would bet money that the mid 20's funk claims more quits than any other single quit related symptom out there beyond the 3 day withdrawal. Fight through it. If you need numbers, PM me and mine is yours.

[bigsky406]

Way to go man. Way to fight for your quit.

Soon the fog will lift. In the meantime, just get through today. I'll quit with you today.

This will all be worth it, and then when you look back years from now you'll have today as a reminder of why you never want to go through this again. This is your last quit.

But don't worry about that today. Today just worry about getting following through on your promise, your WORD, to your quit brothers that you will stay quit. Then get up in the morning and do it again.

This is a fight worth winning. Nothing good ever came easy.

Proud to quit with you today.

[RAZD611]

Keep plugging. It WILL get better. I promise.

You are hitting a funk and a reintroduction to the fog. It is very common and it will go away if you hold strong and let it.

It may take a few days or weeks. It will come and go. Everyone is different. I fought it for the first two months. Then all of the sudden it got better ( like the red sea parting for Moses). It will for you too and you will know it when it does.

Freedom is within your grasp. All that is really happening is the brain rewiring itself.

Fight through it and the prize is soooooo worth it.

Freedom, Piece of Mind.

[jeff32]

Well its been 28 days for which I was hoping would be a milestone of feeling good and proud of myself.

Unfortunetely since the 25th day all I feel is worse and worse. Anxitey, lack of concentration, moody, panicky, tired (lack of sleep) hungry with little will to eat.

I felt great and proud over the first few weeks but domething happened which is what I hear is the fog. Well its very dense in my case. The guilt of dipping all those years is overwelming. I lost my shit a few days ago but I didn't dip. I worked myself up into a frenzy and tried everything to feel better. I brushed my toungue so hard on the side just to try to get off some white that probably wasn't there causing irritation and a sore. Now my mouth is killing me which did not happen when I was dipping.

My work performance over the last week has been dismal. I own a company with over 60 employees and feel like I am not up too the task latley which concerns me greatly.

I have not been mentally available to my family or employees lately. I dont even remember the conversations with my customers five minuites after I hang up the phone.

For the first few weeks I was feeling just fine. Working out a few times a week, eating fine and sleeping ok. Within what feels like a minute all that has changed and I cant even leave the house.

With all that said. I have not dipped in 28 days and I have not dipped today.