Brother, I will turn 50 this year and have been (ab)using tobacco since I was 16. (That's 34 years -OH shit has it been that long??) Cigarettes, off and on for the teenage years, then I stopped cold turkey. Several years with a soon to be ex-wife and the stress of a divorce with an 20 month old son brought the cigarettes back, but I knew they were death so I tried the Skoal. Damn, shit tasted good and took the edge off life stress, but even then, I knew I was lying to myself. Quit it cold turkey one day too, only to cave about 5 years later. Tired to quit once again, but caved when drinking beers with new bro-in-law, sis-in-law, while they all smoked their Marlboros. I bought a can and said, "Just one" and "I can stop if I only take one . . ." That was almost 20 years ago.
Kids got older and found my shit. Had to explain to too many people, so I learned to gut my spit and tired to be covert, hiding my can in my sock or wherever since I agreed to pay my teenagers $20.00 for every can or chew they found in my teeth. That got expenseive so instead of getting smart, I got better at being sneaky. That really sucks that I did that and I hate that part of me.
My gums and teeth hurt this morning. I decided today I am done with this. Enough is enough.