Hey Guys,
My name on the site is OKCGUY, my given name is Dustin. I am on day 26. I decided to wait to post an introduction as the first few days were hell and I was not really in my right mind. I was born and raised in Oklahoma. As a result, chewing tobacco was a right of passage growing up. I grew up raising animals, working on farms, rodeoing, and drinking beer on dirt roads on Friday nights. Furthermore, I believe that my addiction to nicotine is really a generational and almost genetic thing. My father chews tobacco and hides it from my Mom. My Uncle, who is a cancer survivor, still continues to chew tobacco and hides it from the family. My grandfather, whom I am the spitting image of, smoked but hid it from the family and by hid I mean that we all knew he did it but we just did not want to face that he did it.
Said all that to say, nicotine addiction just runs in the blood and in the family. However, it stops with me. It feels so damn good to say that. I am ending a generational curse that has plagued my family for generations. For some reason, the big guy saw fit to get me connected to you all and finally showed me that I was believing a lie in that I could have one more dip and now I have stopped believing that lie and just surrendered. I once watched this crime show, it was a reality show, where a guy confessed to a crime. You could tell as soon as he confessed he knew he was in trouble but the look on his face and his countenance changed after confessing his crime. I felt that way when I finally surrendered to my nicotine addiction. Will there be health consequences? Likely, but I don't care. That was how I knew I was done. I knew I was not going to believe the lie anymore and that one day off this shit was worth it rather than living in fear of cancer and death.
I chewed for a long time. 18 years. Grizzly was my brand. I was a can sometime more than a can a day guy toward the end. Stealthy motherfucker, I said it, deal with it. I just was. I got sick of hiding stuff. But at the same time, I got so good at hiding stuff as a result of my addiction to nicotine and chewing tobacco. I dated girls for years and they never knew that I dipped. I took great pride in hiding my addiction. However, in the end my addiction ultimately hid me from the world and I lived in isolation. I once quit for 14 days, well I didn't dip. I chewed the hell out of some nicotine gum. I called my dad and asked for help, he said he would pray for me and I never heard from him again on the subject. All the while, he continued to dip.
Here is the deal though, I moved past that shit. I just grabbed some bootstraps like we do here in Oklahoma and said I got one life to live. I thank my higher power every day that I came across this site and was able to see the light so to speak. I am done. I surrendered. I cannot ever again have nicotine. In fact, this past week I was in a fantasy football championship and went to a bar to watch the final games. While there I was breathing second hand smoke and my mind said, I need a cigarette. Bull shit, I need a cigarette. That was the nic bitch rearing her ugly head. I moved outside and was fine. Day by day in every way I am getting better and better.
I am a proud member of the Bastards of March quit group and am open to connect with any of you to support you in your quits or just to be a resource.
Today, just for today, I quit! I quit! I quit! I quit!
