Like so many others before and after me, I used Copenhagen as a means to quit smoking, circa. 1985. Yep, thirty one years ago and I am now 51 years of age. And, like so many others as a strong minded and willful man, I figured IÂ’d easily dump on the dip when the time was right. As a somewhat sane, analytical, and rationale man, I knew I needed to quit.
Cope had been with me through my time in the Air Force, and then start of my civilian career and well into it, with me through two failed marriages and the lifespan of a wonderful Springer Spaniel. Cope has been with me during times of sport, road-trips, house/yardwork, hiking/backpacking and definitely while drinking. Hell, IÂ’ve travelled the world with Cope while on business trips, personal vacations, and even while living abroad in Japan years ago and more recently while living here in the Netherlands from where I am now quitting and writing. I have countless family and personal pictures in front of the grandest of vistas and me there with a big ole dip in. GeeshÂ…..With that, I knew I needed to quit.
With all the trials and tribulations that life has to offer, the stresses life can bring, deservedly and undeservedly so, in some sick and twisted fashion I always felt like my old friend Cope was there with me, indentured, seeing me through. Further strengthening the sick and twisted bond we had formed all those years ago. With that, I knew I needed to quit.
I had entertained a few times during the past thirty years in killing the can but never got to a point that I actually acted on it. IÂ’d align the quit attempt with a move, or the start of a new job, or something really stressful that would doom me to failure with the quit. IÂ’d eventually rationalize, only the way a nicotine addict can, the reasons why itÂ’d be fruitless to try to quit and IÂ’d push it off Â…. again. I knew I needed to quit.
From my folks, my brother, to my ex’es and to my lifetime girlfriend with whom I am with now, there had always been those requests for me to quit or at least to think about quitting. My dearest friends and those of mine that are extended family had offered quiet words in the past regarding my quitting. For years I have been shaking my head, knowing that I need to quit, and stating ‘I’ll quit when the time is right.’ I’d conclude that we all know that I have to want to quit for the quit to be a success. So smart, even then…oh, not me….that ole friend of mine and the nicotine. I knew I needed to quit.
A little over a year ago, my lifetime love and I decided to move here to the Netherlands to take a break from big time corporate America and experience a bit more of a relaxed way of life here in Holland. We’ve had our break and we now contemplate a move back to the good ole USA. Probably sometime this summer. There has been one problem with our plan all along that I am now addressing, yep, the Cope. I’ve had family members and dear friends pack it in for me as they came to visit here in Holland. I’ve had my folks mail it to me via the postal service. It finally dawned on me how fucked up it is that this ‘friend’ of mine had so encroached into my life relationships to a point that I was treating them like they were my mules of an illicit substance. With all the reasons to quit, the cost, the health risks, etc, it is with these reasons snowballed into how I have slighted and mistreated loved ones throughout the years because of the Cope that I am doing it for the right reason. These are the reasons why I have quit. Well, here we are all these years later and the time is right.
I know that I am an addict insomuch that as I close this note tonight, IÂ’d really love to have a dip, hell, it was a trigger sensation while sitting down to craft this bit of prose. I know that the fight is on. Copenhagen has affected every close relationship that I have had in my adult life. So pervasive while not overtly so. ItÂ’s time for me to say goodbye to my old friend. I have real family, real friends, and real friends that I havenÂ’t even met yet that will come before you as they deserve it with what they have to give. You just take it all away and those days are done. Consider me QUIT.
