A family is driving across the country to go to Disney World on a vacation. About half way there one of the children forgets his favorite toy behind at a rest stop. After another couple days of travel, the child realizes that it's missing and starts to have a temper tantrum. He wants to go back. The truth is that everyone understands the shock that the child is suffering. No one says, "Just forget about it and move on" in the first minutes of the kid discovering his lost toy. There is a grief period that anyone would expect the child to go thru. As he think about the missing toy, he continues to be sad/mad/frustrated/all of the above. He arrives in Disney World and barely takes the time to look up. He never bothers wiping his eyes to see any of the spectacles. He never looks up to see the Disney characters right in front of his face. He always says "NO" when asked if he wants to to on the ride with everyone else. In short, he is too focused on the one loss, to appreciate all the gain he could have and is having without even realizing it. This child will never appreciate the trip to Disney World.
Another boy in the same situation also goes thru the period of grief while he mourns the loss of his toy. He feels the pain of the separation between him and his favorite thing. Something that he couldn't think of life without. Something he doesn't ever think he can get over. Something that at times he thinks is the most important thing in the world. Something that..... and as this this boy takes the time to wipe his tears away he sees an amazing site. He now realizes that he is standing with his family in the happiest place on earth and his toy wouldn't have fit thru the gate. If he had his toy, he wouldn't be able to be in this incredible place if he had brought his toy (just work with me here, I know it's not perfect) He allows himself to enjoy his new surroundings. He doesn't forget about his toy but he realizes in that moment and every moment from then on that the value of the toy is dwarfed by the value of the place and experiences he's having. There are still moments when he wishes he could play with the toy (and those become less and less over time) but he knows that the only way to do that would be to leave this wonderful place with much better toys and get back in the car and go home.
Now comes the best news of all. His parents got jobs at Disney World and the children never need to leave. They get to spend the rest of their lives in this wondrous place. The child takes the time to ponder his old toy. What does he do then? Is he going to be the child that puts his face in his hands and cries for the rest of his life, or is he the one that smiles and thinks of the wonderful place he is now and allows the memory of the toy fade as time goes by.
OK the moral of the story is quite clear and I won't insult your intelligence by spelling it out beyond this one thing. In my life, I truly try to focus on the positive side of quitting every single time I feel a crave. I find that this reduces their power and allows me to actually start enjoying the craves as they come. This is because at every crave, I get to be reminded of some of the best reasons that I quit. If I simply said "this sucks" every time I felt a crave, I would be one miserable person.
Depending on how long you have been quit, you may still be in the initial shock of the quit. It's normal to pout and throw your "temper tantrum". Just make sure that you aren't already in Disney World and you still have your eyes focused on your old toy. Open your eyes. There is nothing that your old toy would ever do to make this new place better. If you stubbed your toe while walking, it wasn't caused because you didn't have your toy and it wouldn't feel better if you had the toy. It's just a stubbed toe. Don't let that pain make you ever feel like you need the new toy.
Enjoy living in Disney World for the rest of your life.
