Welcome! You'll find a lot of commonality with others here, and no matter what you might have done in service of you addiction, somebody elae has probably done it too. I"ve definitely done trash diving in my past for dips.
As you learn more about the addiction, it will make sense why "tomorrow" never comes as a day to quit dip, and the only good time to quit is now. Congratulations on finally taking the dive. I was like you with an ever distant quit in mind, never really coming through. For decades. So far, this is working for me here, and the support is critical. This one will stick if I just stay with program. First time I"ve ever felt that way.
You've got some kick-ass guys in your quit group who are helping each other in a big way, and the vets on the site are the experts among all at helping you stay quit, so you are in great hands. Make the most of it- all it takes now is your own determination one day at a time!