So here we go, I made a feeble attempt at quitting about a year ago and actually convinced my buddy to quit along side of me...he is still quit and proud of it, the smell of cope makes him sick. I was going strong until I left for Airborne school where I was surrounded by Regiment guys (Ranger) who always had a dip in and I was still using the Smokey mountain wintergreen to get by all of them knew that I was quit and some agreed that is was a good thing and others would say..."only quitters quit! Fag" all in a joking manner but it still resonated with me a bit.
Bottom line one night after running around all day and jumping out of the 34 ft tower I had the great Idea that hey I can just do it while I am here and nobody at home will have any idea, all would be ok because I would just quit before I go home......key word in that last sentence QUIT, I wouldn't have to be on here right now if I didn't have to QUIT again. So I graduated Airborne school and was getting my bags packed to go back home and said no problem and threw out the half empty can before I checked out of the hotel. Driving to the Airport I started to spaz that I would not have a dip for the plane and I could just have some more for the trip home and throw it out before I got home....etc you see where this is going?
When I got home I didnt throw anything out. I just bought a tin of Smokey Mountain and dumped it out and filled it with Grizzly because my Wife already knew that I did the Smokey Mountain and she wouldnt notice the difference in the smell...(see how much analyzing I put into the deception of my Wife for the Fucking chew) well eventually I eased into letting her know that I was chewing again and she was disappointed in me to say the least but that didnt matter to me, I still had my "best friend" with me, even when she didnt want to kiss me because my breath was disgusting from beer and dip, I did not care because she would fall asleep and I would be alone with my sweet Griz.
So what brings me back here...Myself, every time I have quit I was doing it for other people not for me I dont think I had one ounce of give a fuck about myself or my health, I have had a wake up call for ME. I was dipping so much the right side of my face would go numb for a day or two and then be back to normal for about a week. I was scraping dead skin out of the inside of my cheeks and then putting a dip in right on top of it, I would stay up till 3 am on days that I had to work at 7 am just to dip in peace, the carpet of my brand new truck has stains on the carpet from me wiping the dip juice of of my fingers from putting a dip in...these are just a few things that made me open my eyes again....do I need to list more?
I asked my wife on Saturday morning if she wanted to dump out my cans and She grabbed all 5 of them (yes 5) and skipped to the bathroom smiling the whole way, came back to me and wrapped her arms around me and said "I love you and you can do this" Never have I seen her look so intensely at me. I am now on day three and doing fine a couple of fits today but overall not bad. Feel free to Commence Ass chewings. Thank you in advance for them and believe me they all will be received and understood.
