Hi Bob (there's a drinking game where you watch a Bob Newhart episode and everyone has to take a sip whenever the work "Bob" occurs and a shot whenever someone says "Hi Bob"....you can't make it through 2 episodes),
Anyway, Hi Bob, and welcome to the team. I'm on Day 16 and a loyal member of the "scared straight" program. My lymph nodes became swollen and painful and it wouldn't go away. As a 30 year Copenhagen straight veteran, I was convinced it was cancer and already making plans for it. Then I learned it was a muscular injury. I have an 11 year old daughter. I dipped for 24 years in the military. So you're a firefighter. That's probably 90% boredom and 10% terror/rush. The military is like that, and dipping is totally accepted in the culture, so it's easy to start, hard as hell to stop.
This may help you. As Phyllis Diller would say, quitting is easy, I've done it a thousand times. And I have probably quit 20 or 30 times, but I never really believed it when I did it. This time, however, I absolutely believed I was going to be that guy with no tongue or lower jaw or neck or whatever. So after more than 10-thousand cans of chew, I'm on day 16 and barely feeling it. Here's the trick: I know without a shadow of doubt that I'll never use nicotine again. I can't stress how much that helps. In the past, I always knew it was an option I could fall back on. the big lie in that was that accepting that I could quit my quit, restarting was inevitable.
So here's the thing, Bob. Restarting is no longer on the table for you. Stay busy, don't go into an establishment that sells the shit. Get someone to go for you if necessary. Get your fellow firefighters on board with you and demand they hold you accountable. It's not just for you, it's for them and it's for your son. Don't ever forget that nicotine is physically out of your system after 3 days. The next 97 days is your brain rewiring itself to live without it. I do get cravings. Each time a craving becomes the foremost thought in my head, and I start pressing my tongue down between my lower lip and gum (yep, we all do that) because my brain misses a lump of dirt in there, I bring up this site and I read the testimonials. These guys will talk you off the tallest ledge every time.
Welcome to your new life.