Day 6 was the first time I ran into a true crisis of quit. Honestly I had not really experienced a real powerful crave, but today it was more than a thought, it was an overwhelming sense of I DON'T Care about my quit, my life, my ktc brothers, my integrity, my wife, my sons, I just ddin't care about anything except getting that Copenhagen fix. Besides the physical urge, I had pretty good rational. (see how it works...when I don't care about anything, I started justifying my idolatry)
A difficult day at work, combined with a maddening scenario, which was out of my control lead me to a point where I was literally looking for me keys, and planning my LIE to cover for why I had to leave the office at 130pm, which had become so natural, I hardly noticed the rationalizing process. In the moment, I realized thanks to ktc that I was in the middle of a stress trigger. The rewriting process was in my hands, so I just did what I guess I always knew I should have been doing, but lacked the courage, I reached out.
1. I prayed...I can't tell you what I said, I just acknowledged that I was going to need HIS help.
2. I texted my accountability partner, telling him I was struggling.
3. I called an ktc brother
This all happened in the space of 38 seconds, and before I realized it was sharing with my ktc brother about the crave, and my drama. He said, "wow, that's tough. Doesn't sound like a very good reason to kill yourself.".
Crickets...
Exactly what I needed to hear. I realized through my brother that NO MATTER WHAT I am facing, nicotine is not an option. There is no lie my addict brain can spin that will make dipping a real solution. It's just a way to avoid the real issue, or numbing what I am needing to experience.
My quit is stronger today. WE BEAT IT DOWN! 6days quit, thanks to the brotherhood.
...john
