I go to college at a four year university. Im studying Optical Engineering and I have a job this summer working on Directed Energy and Laser Weaponry. This job is the goal of my life
Today I gave a presentation to the president of my school on why he should convert all on-campus vehicle to electric. The whole presentation i was just in a fog. I wasnt getting distracted or thinking about other things, I just couldn't think. I couldnt hold any thought process for more than 30- 40 seconds (I still cant but now i dont really have to). Luckily my partner is a good friend and a fraternity brother of mine. He bailed me out so many times and afterward asked me why I was mentally retarded for the last hour. I told him i quit and i was withdrawing from nicotine. He fuckin high fived me. I just made the biggest presentation of his college career so much harder because , lets be honest, i was useless, and he responded by high five and saying "never look back". BTW, apparently the president loved our speech.
Sunflower seeds have saved me today. Luckily I posted roll, that means I made a promise, and my Mama didnt raise no bitch. A promise made is a promise kept. No nicotine today boys.
What you are experiencing is what we refer to as "the fog". It will mess with you, but it is temporary. It's the worst here for the next few days until the poison is out of your body. After that, it's slightly easier.
I like to think about a pendulum when I think about my quit mood.
You have pulled the pendulum over to the "Shitty" side and let go. It takes some time and energy for it to move over to the "Life is good side". It's not an overnight process, and it's not an immediate conversion.
Your quit is going to be like this your entire life. Sometimes, quitting is shitty. Sometimes, it's easy. It's going to swing back and forth many times before you become centered, and then something will come and bump it so it will start to move again.
We never know when quitting is going to be either, so we protect our quit by coming here everyday and posting roll. On shitty days, it's real easy to remember that you are an addict. On good days, it's real easy to forget.
Always remember.
Grab some numbers from your quit brothers, and start texting them. They are going through the same shit you are. We vets are all addicts as well, and we'll do our best to warn you of pitfalls you may run acrossed. We'll most definately point out an error in your logic because (1) we have failed because we once thought the same, or (2) we have watched hundreds think the same way and fail.
Post roll.
Stay quit.
Repeat.
Simple, but not easy.
