I had began dipping when I was 17. Worst. Decision. Ever.
That's why I decided the best day to quit was the SAME day I started 4 years ago.
That was 9 days ago, but I never introduced myself.
My name is Sarah. My weakness was Skoal. I was one of few people to dip in my social circle, but I was the only girl. I don't even know why I kept doing it after I tried it. I've heard many different things, received some odd looks, but continued to dip.
I knew the consequences. I still did it. I've quit (unsuccessfully) many times before. I never did it for myself. I did it because of the bitching I heard from friends. From family. Once I did it for a fast at my former church. I always came back.
Last week, a girl that i'm a nanny for (i'm a nanny for a LOT of kids) brought up how she couldn't wait to go to the tanning bed. I fussed at her. I am terrified of skin cancer... I Wear SPF EVERYDAY. I don't lay out, and damn sure don't use a tanning bed. That's when it finally hit me.
I was being such a hypocrite. I'm over here trying to be healthy, and telling her how something she enjoys doing can cause cancer so she needed to stop... when I was doing the same damn thing. Right when I said it, it was a reality check.
I wasn't ready that evening, but the next morning I said goodbye to dip. The fog sucked. I yelled and snapped on a LOT of people. I've woke up in the middle of the night every night. But I know it gets easier... This quit is for me. While it might make many people I know happy, it's about me and no one else.
(Sorry if I type to much, but I blog a lot.)
