First of all I have to tell all of you at KTC that I canÂ’t believe I am writing this. In my wildest dreams I would not have thought I would be past 100 days quit from skoal and still going strong. I dipped Skoal wintergreen Fine Cut for over 30 years and my last desperate memories of late summer of this year were that I would never be able to quit this crap. Since then I have been able to take back my life and no longer have to hide this disgusting habit from my family. ThatÂ’s a good feeling believe me!
Nicotine took over my life when I was about 18-19 years old. I worked at a summer camp during my college years in the mtns, and every year would prep the camp for the summer. I got started on chewing tobacco one of those summers while I was working on buildings, cleaning the pool, etc. When I was around 21 years old a “friend” of mine talked me into trying skoal fine cut(dumbass). I dipped that stuff and it burned like hell(double dumbass). I liked how it felt though so I dipped enough to develop a callous(what a joke) as the burning got better(what an idiot). As I went on forward it became about a 4 can a week habit at age 53. My wife was not one who was openly pissed and moaned about my dipping(some of you might be saying damn that would have been nice(idiots!)) LOL. She silently sat back and let me do it as I crammed it in every day(nassssty). In the end I couldn’t do any chore whatsoever without a dip in my mouth. I mean if I had to wash the friggin’ dishes or if I was blowing leaves, or if I was thinking about doing almost anything, I was doing it with a dip. I had cans everywhere I would be so I wouldn’t have to be without a hit from the nic. I got to be pretty good at it too. I maintained a regular FIFO inventory system(Ron_Cross would appreciate that). I always checked the dates on the cans and scolded the c-store clerk for selling stale crap(crap that would kill you whether it was fresh or not). Now it seems so stupid but then it was necessary to feed my addiction.
I took back my life from the nicotine bitch on September 18th 2013. I have to admit I previously found this site back in 2009 and joined then, but I wasnÂ’t serious enough to post roll and start my quit(conversed with chewie but couldnÂ’t commit). I have to thank folks that reached out to me as I posted roll for the first time on September 18th, 2013. Ron Cross was among the first ones to contact me. Kubiak has been there from time to time posting for the good doc. By the way Kubiak, I am actually not a doctor that is just my initials. Jaydubya and Gdubya stayed in touch with me through the drama(caves of other quitters) and trauma(caves of other quitters) of quitting dip.
I am happy to be free from dipping today! Sound familiar? OK, so maybe I didnÂ’t say that during the first few days or weeks but I did eventually, and it was what kept me quit. The biggest thing that helped me was the resolve and the decision to never dip again. Until I had that I didnÂ’t stand a chance at quitting. The bonus I received at KTC was the support of those mentioned above and from those who didnÂ’t even know they were helping me with their words and experiences. For those of you ahead of me in quit days and milestones, I wish you the baddest quit ever, and to never stop posting roll every day. For those who are just starting out I will say never lose the resolve to quit, and never stop posting roll daily, ever! It will take you through to the best days of your life which are coming real soon, I promise. Also never underestimate the relationships you form on KTC, no matter how insignificant they may seem to you. For all quitters here never forget that you are addicted to nicotine, and will never be able to rid yourself of that, except by posting one day at a time with all of the brothers and sisters on this site!
I have learned to never let my guard down for a second. If I get to feeling pretty good about my quit day number, I just go back through the posts and look around. I realize that no matter how many days I am quit, I can still cave at anytime. With my resolve though and my pals I have met here at KTC I know will have the best shot at never dipping again. Enough for now! Get back to quitting!!!!
