Mthomastherapy

[RAZD611]

Day 65  It is a pretty uneventful day.  No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC)  In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined.  WT and I traded emails.  Love our emails.  We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits. 

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction.  I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco.  Tobacco was a conduit that changed me.  I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god.  22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life. 

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol.  Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was.  I have become a man of my word!  I am honest with my fellow man.  If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks.  Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me. 

I have Christian values.  I didn't when I chewed tobacco.  Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1.  Though shalt have no other gods before me.  (Guilty.  Tobacco)
2.  Graven images? (Guilty.  Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3.  Lords name in vain? (Guilty.  I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.) 
4.  Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix.  Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5.  Honor your father and your mother (Guilty.  I dishonored them with dip)
6.  Though salt not murder (Guilty.  I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7.  Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty.  Adultery isn't all about sex.  It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse.  Tobacco was my mistress.) 
8.  Thou shalt not steal (Guilty.  I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9.  Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders]  I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10.  Thou shalt not covet (Guilty.  I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives.  "If I could just be open about this") 

   
After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict.  I missed him and want him to stay.  I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like.  So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity. 

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC.  You all saved my life.  Both spiritual and physical. 

Day 66 Screw the chew!  My call with suck-it has really got me upset.  If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do?  If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do?  I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them.  Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there.  I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit.  "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can." 

Is that too involved? With your fellow man.  I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit.  We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious. 

Back to work....

Powerful stuff man. You are an inspiration.. Great words..

That's goo shit right there!

[Buddy Mac]

Day 65 It is a pretty uneventful day. No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC) In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined. WT and I traded emails. Love our emails. We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits.

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction. I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco. Tobacco was a conduit that changed me. I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god. 22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life.

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol. Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was. I have become a man of my word! I am honest with my fellow man. If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks. Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me.

I have Christian values. I didn't when I chewed tobacco. Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1. Though shalt have no other gods before me. (Guilty. Tobacco)
2. Graven images? (Guilty. Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3. Lords name in vain? (Guilty. I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.)
4. Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix. Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5. Honor your father and your mother (Guilty. I dishonored them with dip)
6. Though salt not murder (Guilty. I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty. Adultery isn't all about sex. It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse. Tobacco was my mistress.)
8. Thou shalt not steal (Guilty. I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9. Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders] I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10. Thou shalt not covet (Guilty. I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives. "If I could just be open about this")


After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict. I missed him and want him to stay. I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like. So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity.

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC. You all saved my life. Both spiritual and physical.

Day 66 Screw the chew! My call with suck-it has really got me upset. If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do? If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do? I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them. Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there. I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit. "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can."

Is that too involved? With your fellow man. I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit. We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious.

Back to work....

Powerful stuff man. You are an inspiration.. Great words..

[Suck-It]

Day 65  It is a pretty uneventful day.  No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC)  In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined.  WT and I traded emails.  Love our emails.  We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits. 

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction.  I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco.  Tobacco was a conduit that changed me.  I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god.  22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life. 

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol.  Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was.  I have become a man of my word!  I am honest with my fellow man.  If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks.  Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me. 

I have Christian values.  I didn't when I chewed tobacco.  Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1.  Though shalt have no other gods before me.  (Guilty.  Tobacco)
2.   Graven images? (Guilty.  Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3.  Lords name in vain? (Guilty.  I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.) 
4.   Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix.  Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5.   Honor your father and your mother (Guilty.  I dishonored them with dip)
6.   Though salt not murder (Guilty.  I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7.   Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty.  Adultery isn't all about sex.  It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse.  Tobacco was my mistress.) 
8.  Thou shalt not steal (Guilty.  I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9.  Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders]  I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10.  Thou shalt not covet (Guilty.  I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives.  "If I could just be open about this") 

   
After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict.  I missed him and want him to stay.  I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like.  So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity. 

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC.  You all saved my life.  Both spiritual and physical. 

Day 66 Screw the chew!  My call with suck-it has really got me upset.  If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do?  If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do?  I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them.  Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there.  I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit.  "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can." 

Is that too involved? With your fellow man.  I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit.  We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious. 

Back to work....

I WISH I HAD SAID THAT!!!
There is nothing else to say.

Well said!!!!

'worship'

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

Great post - glad I could get on here and read. Just a quick thank you for having my back through the past 3 weeks going on 4. This has been a trying time - but you and others have been there and have helped me stay quit. Thanks for posting for me when I couldn't get to a computer. I plan to write up a big official thanks when this trip is officially over but felt like saying thanks right now since I could get to a computer.

Keep on keeping on...QLF and Grizzly's new one PLF.

[Grizzly25]

Day 65  It is a pretty uneventful day.  No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC)  In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined.  WT and I traded emails.  Love our emails.  We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits. 

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction.  I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco.  Tobacco was a conduit that changed me.  I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god.  22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life. 

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol.  Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was.  I have become a man of my word!  I am honest with my fellow man.  If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks.  Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me. 

I have Christian values.  I didn't when I chewed tobacco.  Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1.  Though shalt have no other gods before me.  (Guilty.  Tobacco)
2.   Graven images? (Guilty.  Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3.  Lords name in vain? (Guilty.  I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.) 
4.   Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix.  Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5.   Honor your father and your mother (Guilty.  I dishonored them with dip)
6.   Though salt not murder (Guilty.  I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7.   Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty.  Adultery isn't all about sex.  It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse.  Tobacco was my mistress.) 
8.  Thou shalt not steal (Guilty.  I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9.  Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders]  I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10.  Thou shalt not covet (Guilty.  I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives.  "If I could just be open about this") 

   
After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict.  I missed him and want him to stay.  I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like.  So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity. 

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC.  You all saved my life.  Both spiritual and physical. 

Day 66 Screw the chew!  My call with suck-it has really got me upset.  If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do?  If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do?  I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them.  Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there.  I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit.  "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can." 

Is that too involved? With your fellow man.  I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit.  We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious. 

Back to work....

I WISH I HAD SAID THAT!!!
There is nothing else to say.

Well said!!!!

'worship'

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

[DennyX]

Well said, and I agree with you. We have a responsibility to share the insight we have learned since taking our lives back. It's our responsibility to lend a hand to a brother that's struggling - but you also nailed it, you can't force anything. All we can do is plant seeds of hope with that guy at the gas station, or the guy in the car next to you at the stop light you hand a card through the window. The battle rages all around us, stay strong and stay armed. You never ever know when you'll LITERALLY save someone's life.

[Wt57]

Day 65  It is a pretty uneventful day.  No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC)  In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined.  WT and I traded emails.  Love our emails.  We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits. 

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction.  I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco.  Tobacco was a conduit that changed me.  I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god.  22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life. 

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol.  Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was.  I have become a man of my word!  I am honest with my fellow man.  If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks.  Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me. 

I have Christian values.  I didn't when I chewed tobacco.  Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1.  Though shalt have no other gods before me.  (Guilty.  Tobacco)
2.  Graven images? (Guilty.  Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3.  Lords name in vain? (Guilty.  I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.) 
4.  Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix.  Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5.  Honor your father and your mother (Guilty.  I dishonored them with dip)
6.  Though salt not murder (Guilty.  I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7.  Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty.  Adultery isn't all about sex.  It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse.  Tobacco was my mistress.) 
8.  Thou shalt not steal (Guilty.  I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9.  Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders]  I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10.  Thou shalt not covet (Guilty.  I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives.  "If I could just be open about this") 

   
After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict.  I missed him and want him to stay.  I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like.  So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity. 

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC.  You all saved my life.  Both spiritual and physical. 

Day 66 Screw the chew!  My call with suck-it has really got me upset.  If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do?  If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do?  I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them.  Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there.  I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit.  "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can." 

Is that too involved? With your fellow man.  I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit.  We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious. 

Back to work....

I WISH I HAD SAID THAT!!!
There is nothing else to say.

[Mthomas3824]

Day 65 It is a pretty uneventful day. No drama on my favorite reality TV show. (KTC) In fact it was probably the most quiet day I recall since I joined. WT and I traded emails. Love our emails. We get really philosophical and gain more insight and revelation to our quits.

Today through emails, my thoughts brought me to addiction. I am so much more grateful for successes and failures without tobacco. Tobacco was a conduit that changed me. I became a liar, a sneak, an excuse maker, a loner, insecure, paranoid, selfish, and worshiped a false god. 22 years of deceiving and lying to mostly myself but the lies bled into every single facet of my life.

My quit is exhilarating because my quit on the surface is controlling my addiction by not partaking nicotine or alcohol. Underneath or inside my quit is my reunion with who I once was. I have become a man of my word! I am honest with my fellow man. If my wife goes to my car, I no longer panic that she may uncover the lies I kept.

Chewing tobacco was more stressful because I was always trying to cover my tracks. Now I don't have to, in fact it is fun to invite people to come along and make new tracks with me.

I have Christian values. I didn't when I chewed tobacco. Something as simple as the 10 commandments....My love for my addiction deceived me.

1. Though shalt have no other gods before me. (Guilty. Tobacco)
2. Graven images? (Guilty. Seeing the can made my mouth water)
3. Lords name in vain? (Guilty. I testified that Jesus is the Christ while denying his power and lack of faith to heal me.)
4. Sabbath day holy (Broke that many times to get my fix. Never made it a holy day for 22 years!!!)
5. Honor your father and your mother (Guilty. I dishonored them with dip)
6. Though salt not murder (Guilty. I have never taken anyone's life but my addiction killed my spirit!)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery (Guilty. Adultery isn't all about sex. It is about putting someone/something ahead of your spouse. Tobacco was my mistress.)
8. Thou shalt not steal (Guilty. I stole time and money from my family so that I could feed this addiction)
9. Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor (Guilty. I had a neighbor that came across as "Holier than thou". [very Ned Flanders] I would always mock him by telling people he was in the closet)
10. Thou shalt not covet (Guilty. I coveted people who seemed to be able to drink and chew in front of their wives. "If I could just be open about this")


After 22 years, I am reuniting with the young man who wasn't an addict. I missed him and want him to stay. I think he is a pretty cool guy that most people would like. So Quit I Am...An honest man who is building his integrity.

I am so glad I have you guys and KTC. You all saved my life. Both spiritual and physical.

Day 66 Screw the chew! My call with suck-it has really got me upset. If someone put a gun to their head and was going to pull the trigger, what would you do? If you know that tobacco is poison and a killer and you see someone going to take it, what do you do? I guess if someone really wants to kill themselves, you won't be able to stop them. Some time, some where they may pull the trigger when you aren't there. I guess all a quitter can do for his fellow dippers is be the example and plant the seed of quit. "Testify how quit has changed your life, hand out KTC cards in the gas station when someone buys a can."

Is that too involved? With your fellow man. I think it is a responsibility to share the insight and knowledge we have gained by quitting this shit. We can't force them to be free but we can tell them the option is available and precious.

Back to work....

[Scowick65]

Gooo stuff.

[carumba10]

That is great. I am glad it is going well for you.

[Grizzly25]

Day 60 – The test -  My first road trip.  I have made this 4 hour trip many times and loved to listen to music, day dream and fill my mouth with so much poison.  I had some vets tell me that my period of quit time is when my brain is rewiring. 
All the sites, music, gas stations along the way.  Everything was a trigger.  I felt that the trip wasn’t going right.  Something was wrong.  Oh that’s right I don’t have a dip in.  Wait, I have been nic free for so long, I can’t believe the power of the mind.  Physically I don’t need it but it kept creeping into my mind. 
One factor I left out.  Before I left, I invited my family to go.  Everyone was too busy.  Nothing I love more than being on the road by myself, but this was different.  I didn’t feel ready to be alone.  No bother, I can go and keep my quit brothers close.  My wife said, “I have never seen you look that sad when we say we can’t go to Saint George.”  I answered, “Really?  Well I am not sad, I am just feeling like I am not ready to be alone but I need to stay strong and I have my quit brothers."
My son came to me and said, “Dad my schedule just cleared up and I would love to go with you.”  Cool!  It really is neat when a father looks to his son and his son looks to his father.  That kid was my wingman.  I could have still caved if I wanted to but this little reminder in my front seat was my hero and I didn’t want to disappoint. 
What a blast rewiring my brain.  I taught my son how to hunt toads at night.  Sounds really insignificant writing it down but it was a priceless moment.  I wasn't trying to get away from him so that I could put a pinch between my cheek and gum.  I was enjoying the excitement of a father and son on an adventure.  He was hunting Toads and I was rewiring my brain. 
What a great day.  I didn’t have much access to the site but did get a call that we had a couple casualties.  It reminded me of my wrestling team in high school.  Sometimes we would lose a meet but I won my match.  So I hated losing as a team but I did my job for the victory.  That was how I felt with the news.  Quitting is very much like wrestling.  It is an individual sport, and each individual has to make his or her own contribution for the team to have success.  Even so, I won my match today!!!

Day 61 – Drove back with a happy and thankful spirit.  It is Mothers day today.  I can talk freely about my addiction with my family.  My wife loves me and I made a great decision to choose her to be the mother of my kids.  I have such a good life.  Tobacco is a crock of shit.  It did nothing but detract from things I love.  It puts blinders on and alienates you from love.  It lowers your IQ and self worth but most importantly you lose site and gratitude for what you have and can accomplish.  The buzz just numbs ones desire to have personal victories.  I fucking paid for that for 22 years!  It wasn’t forced, I bought the lie.  Not Now Not Today!  I see tobacco and know the truth.  Evil.  This is pure anti-American, freedom robbing, evil. 

Day 62 Just a quit day.  As an official Lakers’ Hater, I loved watching OKC wipe their ass with Gasol and that #24 guy.  Westbrook posted up Blake and # 24 thinks he can fix it?  Westbrook Schooled that #24. 

Day 63 – I still see the damn broken record of people not posting roll.  Those who are strongly encouraging their brother to post and the brother explaining why he won’t or doesn't need to.  This time I read and it looks like some will post all week but not on weekends?  I seriously don’t get why simple and important things are difficult for some to do.
I have kids so I know it is hard to get them to do what is good for them.  I wash clothes and all they have to do is put the clothes away.  They would rather live out of their clothes basket and not put them away.  No matter how much I yell and complain, I can’t get my kids to buy into that concept.  So I look at it like if my kids want to live that way, what is it hurting me?  It’s just a difference of opinion.

Now when my son thought he could be late on curfew.  I had a different attitude.  Fist time he was late we talked about it.  The second time he was punished for it and the Third time, I threw him out of the house.  “If you think I make rules just for the fun of it you’re wrong.  There is logic behind it.  If you think you can flippantly come and go as you please and expect me to pay your way, you’re wrong!  Because you can’t make it home on time, you are a big boy now and can make your own rules to live by.  Congratulations son, I thought you would be prepared for the real world a couple years from now.  Looks like you are ready now.  Bye, Bye.”  Wife is crying, "where is he going to go?  How is he going to get by without us?  Is he going to be okay?"  Me:  "He’s fine.  Let him sweat it out he may be stubborn but he is also smart.  Let it ride, his choice." 

My son has never missed curfew again.  Addicts are children at times.  They don’t know what is best and they think they know everything.  Don’t plead with them to follow the rules.  Kick them out.  We need to let them discover the value and respect the program.  If they really want to quit, they’ll come back.  So if the douches want to prove that they can quit without us.  Great! They are quit.  If they need the site, they will make sure to post roll if you take the privilege away from them.  All bark and no bite on posting roll creates the broken record you see.  EITHER IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL OR IT IS.  If they refuse to post, don’t beat them up about it.  They won’t listen.  If it is a big enough issue.  Kick them out of the group and let them find a group that will allow them to join.
   
Day 64 – I changed my avatar.  It is of Cale Sanderson.  Cale Sanderson Wrestled for Iowa State.  Cale is the only wrestler that had an undefeated record in college.  Not even Dan Gable has that record.  His college record was an impressive 159-0.  So I’m adopting this as my avatar.  My goal is to keep my undefeated record on KTC.  If I wake up one day and I have a 159 – 0 record with tobacco; I might change my avatar at that time.  For now, my vision is to train, stay alert and never surrender.  Every day is a match.  I can’t look past the match at hand.  Sure I have many more matches to get to 159.  In order to remain undefeated, I must only worry and concentrate on my match today.
I was always serious about my quit.  I listened to the vets, I followed orders, I got training, I ran drill and exercises I also committed a little extra by quitting alcohol.  I thought it was a sacrifice but its not.  I am stronger for it!  I know that the only way nicotine can beat me is if I allow it to.  I am on guard now and confident that I won’t allow nicotine to beat me. 

Weighed in this morning.  Lost 5 of the 20lbs gained in my quit.  Keep that up too.  Be a quitter and a loser Thomas! 

How about that?  I am bragging when I say, I'm a loser and a quitter.  Who ever thought those two words increases self esteem?

MThomas you are awesome!! So did the kid ever lick the toads butt??
It is an honor to be quit with you. You are truely an inspiration.

Gotta love the daily log!

Also the Cael Sanderson avatar and story are fantastic!

Great stuff from an inspiring bad ass quiter!!!

Quit on Quiter!

[Wt57]

Day 60 – The test - My first road trip. I have made this 4 hour trip many times and loved to listen to music, day dream and fill my mouth with so much poison. I had some vets tell me that my period of quit time is when my brain is rewiring.
All the sites, music, gas stations along the way. Everything was a trigger. I felt that the trip wasnÂ’t going right. Something was wrong. Oh thatÂ’s right I donÂ’t have a dip in. Wait, I have been nic free for so long, I canÂ’t believe the power of the mind. Physically I donÂ’t need it but it kept creeping into my mind.
One factor I left out. Before I left, I invited my family to go. Everyone was too busy. Nothing I love more than being on the road by myself, but this was different. I didn’t feel ready to be alone. No bother, I can go and keep my quit brothers close. My wife said, “I have never seen you look that sad when we say we can’t go to Saint George.” I answered, “Really? Well I am not sad, I am just feeling like I am not ready to be alone but I need to stay strong and I have my quit brothers."
My son came to me and said, “Dad my schedule just cleared up and I would love to go with you.” Cool! It really is neat when a father looks to his son and his son looks to his father. That kid was my wingman. I could have still caved if I wanted to but this little reminder in my front seat was my hero and I didn’t want to disappoint.
What a blast rewiring my brain. I taught my son how to hunt toads at night. Sounds really insignificant writing it down but it was a priceless moment. I wasn't trying to get away from him so that I could put a pinch between my cheek and gum. I was enjoying the excitement of a father and son on an adventure. He was hunting Toads and I was rewiring my brain.
What a great day. I didnÂ’t have much access to the site but did get a call that we had a couple casualties. It reminded me of my wrestling team in high school. Sometimes we would lose a meet but I won my match. So I hated losing as a team but I did my job for the victory. That was how I felt with the news. Quitting is very much like wrestling. It is an individual sport, and each individual has to make his or her own contribution for the team to have success. Even so, I won my match today!!!

Day 61 – Drove back with a happy and thankful spirit. It is Mothers day today. I can talk freely about my addiction with my family. My wife loves me and I made a great decision to choose her to be the mother of my kids. I have such a good life. Tobacco is a crock of shit. It did nothing but detract from things I love. It puts blinders on and alienates you from love. It lowers your IQ and self worth but most importantly you lose site and gratitude for what you have and can accomplish. The buzz just numbs ones desire to have personal victories. I fucking paid for that for 22 years! It wasn’t forced, I bought the lie. Not Now Not Today! I see tobacco and know the truth. Evil. This is pure anti-American, freedom robbing, evil.

Day 62 Just a quit day. As an official LakersÂ’ Hater, I loved watching OKC wipe their ass with Gasol and that #24 guy. Westbrook posted up Blake and # 24 thinks he can fix it? Westbrook Schooled that #24.

Day 63 – I still see the damn broken record of people not posting roll. Those who are strongly encouraging their brother to post and the brother explaining why he won’t or doesn't need to. This time I read and it looks like some will post all week but not on weekends? I seriously don’t get why simple and important things are difficult for some to do.
I have kids so I know it is hard to get them to do what is good for them. I wash clothes and all they have to do is put the clothes away. They would rather live out of their clothes basket and not put them away. No matter how much I yell and complain, I canÂ’t get my kids to buy into that concept. So I look at it like if my kids want to live that way, what is it hurting me? ItÂ’s just a difference of opinion.

Now when my son thought he could be late on curfew. I had a different attitude. Fist time he was late we talked about it. The second time he was punished for it and the Third time, I threw him out of the house. “If you think I make rules just for the fun of it you’re wrong. There is logic behind it. If you think you can flippantly come and go as you please and expect me to pay your way, you’re wrong! Because you can’t make it home on time, you are a big boy now and can make your own rules to live by. Congratulations son, I thought you would be prepared for the real world a couple years from now. Looks like you are ready now. Bye, Bye.” Wife is crying, "where is he going to go? How is he going to get by without us? Is he going to be okay?" Me: "He’s fine. Let him sweat it out he may be stubborn but he is also smart. Let it ride, his choice."

My son has never missed curfew again. Addicts are children at times. They donÂ’t know what is best and they think they know everything. DonÂ’t plead with them to follow the rules. Kick them out. We need to let them discover the value and respect the program. If they really want to quit, theyÂ’ll come back. So if the douches want to prove that they can quit without us. Great! They are quit. If they need the site, they will make sure to post roll if you take the privilege away from them. All bark and no bite on posting roll creates the broken record you see. EITHER IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL OR IT IS. If they refuse to post, donÂ’t beat them up about it. They wonÂ’t listen. If it is a big enough issue. Kick them out of the group and let them find a group that will allow them to join.

Day 64 – I changed my avatar. It is of Cale Sanderson. Cale Sanderson Wrestled for Iowa State. Cale is the only wrestler that had an undefeated record in college. Not even Dan Gable has that record. His college record was an impressive 159-0. So I’m adopting this as my avatar. My goal is to keep my undefeated record on KTC. If I wake up one day and I have a 159 – 0 record with tobacco; I might change my avatar at that time. For now, my vision is to train, stay alert and never surrender. Every day is a match. I can’t look past the match at hand. Sure I have many more matches to get to 159. In order to remain undefeated, I must only worry and concentrate on my match today.
I was always serious about my quit. I listened to the vets, I followed orders, I got training, I ran drill and exercises I also committed a little extra by quitting alcohol. I thought it was a sacrifice but its not. I am stronger for it! I know that the only way nicotine can beat me is if I allow it to. I am on guard now and confident that I wonÂ’t allow nicotine to beat me.

Weighed in this morning. Lost 5 of the 20lbs gained in my quit. Keep that up too. Be a quitter and a loser Thomas!

How about that? I am bragging when I say, I'm a loser and a quitter. Who ever thought those two words increases self esteem?

MThomas you are awesome!! So did the kid ever lick the toads butt??
It is an honor to be quit with you. You are truely an inspiration.

[Mthomas3824]

Day 60 – The test - My first road trip. I have made this 4 hour trip many times and loved to listen to music, day dream and fill my mouth with so much poison. I had some vets tell me that my period of quit time is when my brain is rewiring.
All the sites, music, gas stations along the way. Everything was a trigger. I felt that the trip wasnÂ’t going right. Something was wrong. Oh thatÂ’s right I donÂ’t have a dip in. Wait, I have been nic free for so long, I canÂ’t believe the power of the mind. Physically I donÂ’t need it but it kept creeping into my mind.
One factor I left out. Before I left, I invited my family to go. Everyone was too busy. Nothing I love more than being on the road by myself, but this was different. I didn’t feel ready to be alone. No bother, I can go and keep my quit brothers close. My wife said, “I have never seen you look that sad when we say we can’t go to Saint George.” I answered, “Really? Well I am not sad, I am just feeling like I am not ready to be alone but I need to stay strong and I have my quit brothers."
My son came to me and said, “Dad my schedule just cleared up and I would love to go with you.” Cool! It really is neat when a father looks to his son and his son looks to his father. That kid was my wingman. I could have still caved if I wanted to but this little reminder in my front seat was my hero and I didn’t want to disappoint.
What a blast rewiring my brain. I taught my son how to hunt toads at night. Sounds really insignificant writing it down but it was a priceless moment. I wasn't trying to get away from him so that I could put a pinch between my cheek and gum. I was enjoying the excitement of a father and son on an adventure. He was hunting Toads and I was rewiring my brain.
What a great day. I didnÂ’t have much access to the site but did get a call that we had a couple casualties. It reminded me of my wrestling team in high school. Sometimes we would lose a meet but I won my match. So I hated losing as a team but I did my job for the victory. That was how I felt with the news. Quitting is very much like wrestling. It is an individual sport, and each individual has to make his or her own contribution for the team to have success. Even so, I won my match today!!!

Day 61 – Drove back with a happy and thankful spirit. It is Mothers day today. I can talk freely about my addiction with my family. My wife loves me and I made a great decision to choose her to be the mother of my kids. I have such a good life. Tobacco is a crock of shit. It did nothing but detract from things I love. It puts blinders on and alienates you from love. It lowers your IQ and self worth but most importantly you lose site and gratitude for what you have and can accomplish. The buzz just numbs ones desire to have personal victories. I fucking paid for that for 22 years! It wasn’t forced, I bought the lie. Not Now Not Today! I see tobacco and know the truth. Evil. This is pure anti-American, freedom robbing, evil.

Day 62 Just a quit day. As an official LakersÂ’ Hater, I loved watching OKC wipe their ass with Gasol and that #24 guy. Westbrook posted up Blake and # 24 thinks he can fix it? Westbrook Schooled that #24.

Day 63 – I still see the damn broken record of people not posting roll. Those who are strongly encouraging their brother to post and the brother explaining why he won’t or doesn't need to. This time I read and it looks like some will post all week but not on weekends? I seriously don’t get why simple and important things are difficult for some to do.
I have kids so I know it is hard to get them to do what is good for them. I wash clothes and all they have to do is put the clothes away. They would rather live out of their clothes basket and not put them away. No matter how much I yell and complain, I canÂ’t get my kids to buy into that concept. So I look at it like if my kids want to live that way, what is it hurting me? ItÂ’s just a difference of opinion.

Now when my son thought he could be late on curfew. I had a different attitude. Fist time he was late we talked about it. The second time he was punished for it and the Third time, I threw him out of the house. “If you think I make rules just for the fun of it you’re wrong. There is logic behind it. If you think you can flippantly come and go as you please and expect me to pay your way, you’re wrong! Because you can’t make it home on time, you are a big boy now and can make your own rules to live by. Congratulations son, I thought you would be prepared for the real world a couple years from now. Looks like you are ready now. Bye, Bye.” Wife is crying, "where is he going to go? How is he going to get by without us? Is he going to be okay?" Me: "He’s fine. Let him sweat it out he may be stubborn but he is also smart. Let it ride, his choice."

My son has never missed curfew again. Addicts are children at times. They donÂ’t know what is best and they think they know everything. DonÂ’t plead with them to follow the rules. Kick them out. We need to let them discover the value and respect the program. If they really want to quit, theyÂ’ll come back. So if the douches want to prove that they can quit without us. Great! They are quit. If they need the site, they will make sure to post roll if you take the privilege away from them. All bark and no bite on posting roll creates the broken record you see. EITHER IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL OR IT IS. If they refuse to post, donÂ’t beat them up about it. They wonÂ’t listen. If it is a big enough issue. Kick them out of the group and let them find a group that will allow them to join.

Day 64 – I changed my avatar. It is of Cale Sanderson. Cale Sanderson Wrestled for Iowa State. Cale is the only wrestler that had an undefeated record in college. Not even Dan Gable has that record. His college record was an impressive 159-0. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-i4pIa1SG0

So I’m adopting this as my avatar. My goal is to keep my undefeated record on KTC. If I wake up one day and I have a 159 – 0 record with tobacco; I might change my avatar at that time. My vision is to train, stay alert and never surrender. Every day is a match. I can’t look past the match at hand. Sure I have many more matches to get to 159. In order to remain undefeated, I must only worry and concentrate on my match today.
I was always serious about my quit. I listened to the vets, I followed orders, I got training, I ran drill and exercises I also committed a little extra by quitting alcohol. I thought it was a sacrifice but its not. I am stronger for it! I know that the only way nicotine can beat me is if I allow it to. I am on guard now and confident that I wonÂ’t allow nicotine to beat me.

Weighed in this morning. Lost 5 of the 20lbs gained in my quit. Keep that up too. Be a quitter and a loser Thomas!

How about that? I am bragging when I say, I'm a loser and a quitter. Who ever thought those two words increases self esteem?

[Wt57]

Day 55-59

It has been relatively easy to control my addicted mind lately.  Triggers aren't too bad.  I am sure that I have more challenges.  Had another dip dream but it wasn't traumatic like the first one.  In fact I don't recall too much about the dream, just that skoal was there. 

I really, really like the quit life.  I don't regret quitting cold turkey, I only wish I had done this sooner.  But that is all in the past and I am free.  My life, I love it!  My life is a melting pot of victories and failures and mostly mundane things.  I LOVE IT ALL. 

I realize that controlling my addiction to nicotine, I am full of gratitude, I appreciate my relationships more and I no longer worship a false god.  It has me full of desire to be a better person.  The things I am afraid of.  I still fear but I am more prepared to face them head on vs. go hide in a cave and get a fix so that I can be paralyzed to inaction and let the world kick my ass.  NO MORE! I AM A QUIT MAN. 

So on day 59 I am memorizing this poem.  When temptation calls, and it does, I will recite and remind myself that no buzz will ever compare to staying quit.  To all those that may read this and have a battle.  Simplify the fight and say, "Not Now, Not Today, I will STAY QUIT" 

Stay Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road youÂ’re trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but just stay quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when youÂ’re hardest hit -
ItÂ’s when things go wrong that you must stay quit.

Great inspiring stuff brother!!!

You have a truly badass quit going and I am honored to be quit with you!

Awesome poem - I will print this one off and keep with me at all times. Thanks for sharing.

I agree with suck-it and I will keep it with me also. Damn your good!

[Suck-It]

Day 55-59

It has been relatively easy to control my addicted mind lately.  Triggers aren't too bad.  I am sure that I have more challenges.  Had another dip dream but it wasn't traumatic like the first one.  In fact I don't recall too much about the dream, just that skoal was there. 

I really, really like the quit life.  I don't regret quitting cold turkey, I only wish I had done this sooner.  But that is all in the past and I am free.  My life, I love it!  My life is a melting pot of victories and failures and mostly mundane things.  I LOVE IT ALL. 

I realize that controlling my addiction to nicotine, I am full of gratitude, I appreciate my relationships more and I no longer worship a false god.  It has me full of desire to be a better person.  The things I am afraid of.  I still fear but I am more prepared to face them head on vs. go hide in a cave and get a fix so that I can be paralyzed to inaction and let the world kick my ass.  NO MORE! I AM A QUIT MAN. 

So on day 59 I am memorizing this poem.  When temptation calls, and it does, I will recite and remind myself that no buzz will ever compare to staying quit.  To all those that may read this and have a battle.  Simplify the fight and say, "Not Now, Not Today, I will STAY QUIT" 

Stay Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road youÂ’re trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but just stay quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when youÂ’re hardest hit -
ItÂ’s when things go wrong that you must stay quit.

Great inspiring stuff brother!!!

You have a truly badass quit going and I am honored to be quit with you!

Awesome poem - I will print this one off and keep with me at all times. Thanks for sharing.

[Grizzly25]

Day 55-59

It has been relatively easy to control my addicted mind lately. Triggers aren't too bad. I am sure that I have more challenges. Had another dip dream but it wasn't traumatic like the first one. In fact I don't recall too much about the dream, just that skoal was there.

I really, really like the quit life. I don't regret quitting cold turkey, I only wish I had done this sooner. But that is all in the past and I am free. My life, I love it! My life is a melting pot of victories and failures and mostly mundane things. I LOVE IT ALL.

I realize that controlling my addiction to nicotine, I am full of gratitude, I appreciate my relationships more and I no longer worship a false god. It has me full of desire to be a better person. The things I am afraid of. I still fear but I am more prepared to face them head on vs. go hide in a cave and get a fix so that I can be paralyzed to inaction and let the world kick my ass. NO MORE! I AM A QUIT MAN.

So on day 59 I am memorizing this poem. When temptation calls, and it does, I will recite and remind myself that no buzz will ever compare to staying quit. To all those that may read this and have a battle. Simplify the fight and say, "Not Now, Not Today, I will STAY QUIT"

Stay Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road youÂ’re trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but just stay quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when youÂ’re hardest hit -
ItÂ’s when things go wrong that you must stay quit.

Great inspiring stuff brother!!!

You have a truly badass quit going and I am honored to be quit with you!